- Carverhouse, The Shock
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The compassionate Buddha once said that "words can both destroy and heal." He added that "when words are true and kind, it can change our world." If only everyone understands the meaning of this powerful message, the world would be a better place to live. Unfortunately, hate has prevailed over the blogs yesterday, when an anonymous reader posted the comment above in one of Carlo Vergara's entries about Zsazsa Zaturnnah.
The comment struck deep for reasons I cannot fathom myself. All I know is that there is a seething anger inside me that wishes to come out - and land on the face or chest or any part of the body of the poster, that is strong enough to leave that loser decapitated for life. I wish to avail the services of a hacker to find out who that reader was, and shock him with a surprise visit at his home or workplace and tear him apart, which he deserves.
Isn't it ironic that I'm quoting the great sage when my thoughts sway towards violence? If only I can extend my patience in times like this.
Maybe it is the feeling of frustration that is driving me to call on my darker agents to harbor brooding thoughts. After all, the person who is in the line of fire used to be one of my pillars when I was just crossing the line of my sexuality. Now that I am strong enough to stand on my own, I just felt compelled to run towards his defense and share the pain he must be feeling at the moment.
They say that artists must suffer for their craft before it can be a masterpiece. From how Vergara wrote his most recent entry, it was clear that he is totally stunned by the words he received. The impact and gravity of the hate comment created ripples that must have jolted his muses and it stopped weaving images to turn it into a work of art.
I expect that his blog will only speak silence in the days to come.
I remember Manila Gay Guy had the same fate some six months ago. An anonymous gay reader questioned the validity of the author's personal sexual accounts simply because he cannot understand how Miggs' apparently inferior attributes can sway gorgeous and cute men such as a basketball player or a married lawyer to have an affair with him. The reader who questioned the author's stories eventually lost, while MGG prevailed and went on to become a more influential blogger after his ordeal.
Meanwhile the discovery of Agent Boytoy's personal identity had forced him to close his blog permanently. Since I do not know the real scoop behind the issue, it is safe to assume that it was another gay person that destroyed Ahente's will to share his work to those who faithfully followed him.
I kept my silence while these two bloggers were grilled, questioned and humiliated by those who cannot stand their prominence. A part of me felt guilty because I haven't done enough to express my condemnation to the people who were trying to silence them. There were times I asked myself why some people would say bad things to others without looking first at their own shadow? Is this what psychologists refer to as the "deflection method?"
There were times when I used words to hurt others in order to shove to them what I stood for. I thought that I was just merely stating my opinion, when in fact, I am already breaching somebody's personal space. However, even if such breaches occurred, I never used words to see another person's spirit gets crushed by its power.
There is always a corresponding weight on every thought or opinion that I said, for others to see what I am trying to justify with my point.
In Carlo Vergara's case, it was obvious that the anonymous comment was written out of capriciousness, or maybe a fit of jealousy, or the commentator just felt the need to hurt others because he cannot bear the weight of his own suffering. Such poor creature. Maybe it is best to leave the person alone to wallow in his own hatred of life.
Yet the issue never stops there.
As reactions begin to flood Carverhouse's last entry, it seems that only one person is actually assaulting the author's sensibilities with shallow and hurtful comments. What's most sickening about it is that while reading his comments, there is a hint that a dissatisfied gay person is behind the bullying. When I seek wisdom from experience, I learn that no homophobe or religious bigot would ever use gay lingo to break a gay person's will to exist.
In realizations like this, I ask myself if there is hope for people like us. Should I let my inner rage take over and turn against those diva-divahans who think the world is their stage?
Or should I let the memory of Ada and Dodong suppress my hatred for these subhumans and let this issue die a natural death?
---
1:19 am. Zaturnnah answers.
The comment struck deep for reasons I cannot fathom myself. All I know is that there is a seething anger inside me that wishes to come out - and land on the face or chest or any part of the body of the poster, that is strong enough to leave that loser decapitated for life. I wish to avail the services of a hacker to find out who that reader was, and shock him with a surprise visit at his home or workplace and tear him apart, which he deserves.
Isn't it ironic that I'm quoting the great sage when my thoughts sway towards violence? If only I can extend my patience in times like this.
Maybe it is the feeling of frustration that is driving me to call on my darker agents to harbor brooding thoughts. After all, the person who is in the line of fire used to be one of my pillars when I was just crossing the line of my sexuality. Now that I am strong enough to stand on my own, I just felt compelled to run towards his defense and share the pain he must be feeling at the moment.
They say that artists must suffer for their craft before it can be a masterpiece. From how Vergara wrote his most recent entry, it was clear that he is totally stunned by the words he received. The impact and gravity of the hate comment created ripples that must have jolted his muses and it stopped weaving images to turn it into a work of art.
I expect that his blog will only speak silence in the days to come.
I remember Manila Gay Guy had the same fate some six months ago. An anonymous gay reader questioned the validity of the author's personal sexual accounts simply because he cannot understand how Miggs' apparently inferior attributes can sway gorgeous and cute men such as a basketball player or a married lawyer to have an affair with him. The reader who questioned the author's stories eventually lost, while MGG prevailed and went on to become a more influential blogger after his ordeal.
Meanwhile the discovery of Agent Boytoy's personal identity had forced him to close his blog permanently. Since I do not know the real scoop behind the issue, it is safe to assume that it was another gay person that destroyed Ahente's will to share his work to those who faithfully followed him.
I kept my silence while these two bloggers were grilled, questioned and humiliated by those who cannot stand their prominence. A part of me felt guilty because I haven't done enough to express my condemnation to the people who were trying to silence them. There were times I asked myself why some people would say bad things to others without looking first at their own shadow? Is this what psychologists refer to as the "deflection method?"
There were times when I used words to hurt others in order to shove to them what I stood for. I thought that I was just merely stating my opinion, when in fact, I am already breaching somebody's personal space. However, even if such breaches occurred, I never used words to see another person's spirit gets crushed by its power.
There is always a corresponding weight on every thought or opinion that I said, for others to see what I am trying to justify with my point.
In Carlo Vergara's case, it was obvious that the anonymous comment was written out of capriciousness, or maybe a fit of jealousy, or the commentator just felt the need to hurt others because he cannot bear the weight of his own suffering. Such poor creature. Maybe it is best to leave the person alone to wallow in his own hatred of life.
Yet the issue never stops there.
As reactions begin to flood Carverhouse's last entry, it seems that only one person is actually assaulting the author's sensibilities with shallow and hurtful comments. What's most sickening about it is that while reading his comments, there is a hint that a dissatisfied gay person is behind the bullying. When I seek wisdom from experience, I learn that no homophobe or religious bigot would ever use gay lingo to break a gay person's will to exist.
In realizations like this, I ask myself if there is hope for people like us. Should I let my inner rage take over and turn against those diva-divahans who think the world is their stage?
Or should I let the memory of Ada and Dodong suppress my hatred for these subhumans and let this issue die a natural death?
---
1:19 am. Zaturnnah answers.
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