Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Letter

Hi.

May idudulog ako sa iyong problema. I felt an inappropriate attraction to a friend of a friend. We got introduced and I find his sex appeal really getting on to me. The thing is, this friend of mine and him are "dating". They haven't gone out yet, but they have an understanding that they're getting to know each other and open to the possibility of being together as lovers.

I think this feeling is more of obsession than falling for the person. I'm getting more and more interested in him. I hate it. Kasi, I had to go online to my friend's profile, search his friends list until I find the guy's profile. I did find him, but stopped at adding him as my friend. Because I think it's very inappropriate.

I remember the time when I was so inappropriately flirty to my other friends' dates. There was this one friend of mine who dated a guy. Whenever we go out, I'm so pa-cute to his date. Of course, the barkada hated me for being malandi and haliparot. I didn't end up with the guys they dated, but still what I did was unacceptable.

How do I get over this predicament? My friend's away for another week, and I'll definitely see the guy he's dating at the gym (all three of us workout in the same club).

Please help me. I can't stop staring at his profile pic with that cute smile, moreno tone, and nice arms.


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Hello there!

Thanks pare for writing this letter. I appreciate it that you trust me on these matters. You see, not only you faces this kind of dilemma. I know a couple of guys who had the same predicament which you are in right now. Pasensya na if I haven't gone through the same path as you. First, I'm not really as competitive as other people think and second, when I stake my claim over someone, I make sure there are no rivals.

I agree that your attraction is inappropriate. From what I understand, you see him more of a challenge than someone you will take seriously. To compare your situation with mine, its like going to the club every week only to seduce, flirt and then when I score big, (like when someone invites me home only to turn down his invitation) I move on and seek a more challenging game.

You have a very good set of friends. In the circles where I belong, such seduction will never go unnoticed. We have banished several members because their inappropriate acts stirred tension within the group. Besides, kapag nagkasamaan rin ng loob eh nadadamay ang buong tropa. That is why we have learned that friendship and karir don't mix. When "scoring" becomes the objective of a person, he ends up being left out in the end.

Kahit gaano pa siya ka-gwaping or ka-attractive sa amin.

There is nothing wrong to feel an obsession to a person, or feel an overwhelming attraction when he is around. I think it is perfectly normal. You can stare at his photos all day, learn about his hobbies and pastimes, go see him in the gym and have fun - like how you have fun with your friends (unless your definition of fun is different from mine. I belong to the "conservative" school of kalandian kasi.) The bottom line is, you should be supportive of your friend and not the threat like you used to be in the past.

I have no idea how your friendship values work. From what I see, the past has already preceded your present. You are having this dilemma because you can't afford to keep a bad boy reputation anymore. You are torn between your nature and your morals that it gets difficult to strike a deal between your two sides. I understand. It takes time for an obsession to become ordinary and my suggestion is - just let things fall into places without lifting a finger to affect their movements.

Chillax lang. Wait and see lang tayo.

I do not expect you following my suggestion because in the end, we might have different perspectives in life. But if you can't really turn you back to the challenge, just don't let the blame fall upon you. Ibig sabihin. Don't flirt, unless he's the one seducing you first. Strike without mercy only when he is the one crossing the line. It is not your fault when something untoward happens. In fact, I think you are doing your friend a huge favor by unmasking the prospect to reveal how jerk he really is.

Yun nga lang, you have to drop him the moment your goal succeeds.

There are two paths you can take. A third route might just be around the corner. Remember, it is always the friend who sticks with you and not the boys you meet everywhere. So in cases where you have to compete with a friend for attention from a cute guy you just met - it is not bad to give way. After all, your supremacy prevails over your companion's by taking pride to look for another, rather than staking claim over his domain with no certain goal what to do with the plunder.

16 comments:

rudeboy said...

Bros before hos.

dark_knight said...

Kewl. Parang joe d mango lng.. Kudos!

Trip said...

"We have banished several members because their inappropriate acts stirred tension within the group." - this is a very strong statement. :)

to the letter sender, danger ahead.

Knox Galen said...

Trip: I am referring to the rules of Encantos. :) Hirap kasi ng maraming kariran eh. Pagnagkakagulo damay pati buong grupo. It happened in the past so I am not sure if they would resort to such resolution someday.

Dark Knight: Ikaw, manghihingi ka ng payo sa akin?

Rudeboy: Bros before hos.

Anonymous said...

ako, hihingi din payo sa yo

pero ang komento ko sa kaibigan mo,

kabute lang yan.madami pang kabuti sa paligid.

pero ang tunay na kaibigan, bihira pa sa ulan sa disyerto

godspeed

engel said...

pwede ka na palang Dr. Love or Joe d'Mango. The concept of bros before hoes i think applies to whatever sexual preference a person has.

Respeto lang.

Maxwell5587 said...

yeah, i agree with engel, respeto lang.

when it all comes down to it, real happiness is when you know it in yourself that you didn't step on someone else just to reach it.

and i also agree with anonymous. marami pa talagang kabute sa paligid. just let the obsession run its course and eventually dry up. just keep your morals intact first before you go into a frenzy.

goodboi said...

Hey, letting him cross the line will not even do any good. If were me, I would feel bad knowing that he's capable of hitting two birds at once.

A friend's bf of mine tried hitting on me before while he's still committed with my friend. Should I feel happy that now the great guy he is comes to me? No. First,it's a betrayal of friendship. Second, would you allow the same thing happen to you? Of course not.

So I say, keep distance for now and never strike while the iron is hot. Kasi whatever happens, whether good or bad, lahat kayo mapapaso.

(Knox,you're being called for this. Live it! Haha)

Knox Galen said...

Goodboi: I agree with you. The case however is different. The guy and the letter sender's friend are just dating. Better weed out the unworthy before the guy's ugly head shows up when he and the letter sender's friend becomes a couple.

Hope I'm making sense. Medyo unfamiliar ground pa rin tong situation na to sa akin eh.

Maxxbro: Impressive. We really are in the same boat.

Engel: Nung straight ako, torpe ako pagdating sa babae. Besides, hindi pa ako naka-encounter na situation na yung babae ang confused sa pagitan ng dalawang lalaki.

As far as I know, mas hesitant sila gumawa ng "taas-kilay" moves.

Knox Galen said...

Anon: Anong payo hihingin mo saken. Dali, payuhan ko kayo ni Dark Knight. Heehee.

goodboi said...

Knox, you are talking sense, don't worry. Keep it up :-)

xtian1978ii said...

oi Knox napanaginipan kita kagabi. weird pero hindi ko naman nakita mukha mo pero ikaw 'yung nasa panaginip ko.

<*period*>; said...

@knox..wala akong masabi...kasi you took time to read my kalandian and gave me your honest opinion...dont worry, pakikinggan kita.siyempre, kasi IDOL KITA KNOX GALEN!..tsaka alam ko na tama ang mga sinabi mo...i look up to you nga eh..salamat po idol!

Mr. Scheez said...

ay, mas mahalaga sa akin ang friendship kesa sa karir. =)

Knox Galen said...

Goodboi: Thanks, I needed your affirmation. Hehehe.

Xtian: Waaah!! Ano naman napanaginipan mo sa akin?

Mr. Scheez: Tama ka jan...

Period: Iba ka rin kapag na-infatuate no. Daig mo pa si Kimmy Dora. Hahahaha.

period said...

knox...at talagang kimmy dora ha...

well, im just a girl, floating in front of a boy, asking him to love her (labas dila)

ahahahahahahaha

wow, i made you laugh..that's something!ang seryosong si knox galen, napatawa ko..yey..napatawa ko ang idol ko..yey!