The work-out continues unabated, despite my initial worries of losing steam when my aims were met last March. Indeed, taking the long winding road towards getting fitter have rewarded me of a habit - an itch that I cannot easily take away from my system. Gym has become a lifestyle and no matter how long I took breaks from going to the gym, I just return with a stronger determination to pick up from where I left.
Returns from all the sweating and muscle fatigue have been extremely generous. Not only do I look younger now, I have also reclaimed my 20-year old frame which I used to flaunt in the narrow halls of Mint and Mister Piggy's when I was just beginning to explore the wonders of Malate. I may not have the built of a jock, but rest assured, I can always get a jock's attention by telling him that I do 50 squats with a 200-pound barbell on my back.
Such topic will never fail in any cyber conversations. However, I already consider myself past my meat-market phase.
---
Funny how things change in a matter of two years.
Lucid memories show images of me being fat. No, I think I am on the verge of being obese. Some friends would call me Krystala because my excesses remind them of Juday. I vaguely remember a tactless acquaintance blurting - over a bottle of San Mig Light in an obscure bar somewhere in Angeles City that my tummy is too big, and it will never get small again. I remember telling him to give me eight months, for I will make sure that he will eat whatever insults he said to me.
Unfortunately, he flew abroad before I got the chance to show him how far his words brought me.
Unfortunately, he flew abroad before I got the chance to show him how far his words brought me.
The frustrations and disappointments did not stop there. I was rejected, turned down, blocked by some loser in G4M. In my desperation to become someone else, I created another account, stole someone's picture from Friendster and claimed the profile as mine. I didn't use the profile to deceive others, but rather, I just wanted to feel how to be good-looking and muscular for a change.
The experience was breathtaking.
Late last year, someone from PEx posted that he did not have to take a second glance to consider me inferior when we met a few years ago. He posted the comment after I said that I will not think twice of punching someone if that person crosses me when we find ourselves both naked inside the locker room of a gym. To think I met that PExer in good faith when I sold him a House Music CD that was being played at BED during those years.
Pain makes us human.
And whatever words or gestures they inflicted on me in those years I struggled, only gave me a stronger resolve to prove them wrong. How sad however that they are not there anymore to see how things have changed. It turned out I will have to enjoy my victories without their presence.
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The experience was breathtaking.
Late last year, someone from PEx posted that he did not have to take a second glance to consider me inferior when we met a few years ago. He posted the comment after I said that I will not think twice of punching someone if that person crosses me when we find ourselves both naked inside the locker room of a gym. To think I met that PExer in good faith when I sold him a House Music CD that was being played at BED during those years.
Pain makes us human.
And whatever words or gestures they inflicted on me in those years I struggled, only gave me a stronger resolve to prove them wrong. How sad however that they are not there anymore to see how things have changed. It turned out I will have to enjoy my victories without their presence.
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The bunny chasing days are long over, but the end of the journey is still a long way ahead.
Having six-pack abs, a firm pumped-up chest and defined arms, legs and torso were stuffs of legends I used to daydream before. Though such dream might be too ambitious for a goal, (knowing that my diet is unchecked and my alcohol consumption reaches its limits) I decided to take such lofty aim as a challenge to myself.
It doesn't matter if victory takes another two years to achieve. Time has already taught me how sheer determination would see things through, no matter how impossible the task at hand.
I am a living example to the saying without pain there is no gain,
and without suffering, victory has no meaning.
So I return to the drawing board to draft ways of addressing my goal. It is time to prepare my mind for the physical and mental hardships I will have to face ahead.
No more Iced Teas
No more Kowloon Super Jumbo Siopao
and no more Lumpiang Shanghai and Chao-Fan Fried Rice from now on.
With my eyes half closed, I put on my imaginary gym gear with the Duffel bag hanging on my back.
The ascent to transcendence begins now.
and without suffering, victory has no meaning.
So I return to the drawing board to draft ways of addressing my goal. It is time to prepare my mind for the physical and mental hardships I will have to face ahead.
No more Iced Teas
No more Kowloon Super Jumbo Siopao
and no more Lumpiang Shanghai and Chao-Fan Fried Rice from now on.
With my eyes half closed, I put on my imaginary gym gear with the Duffel bag hanging on my back.
The ascent to transcendence begins now.
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1. Photo courtesy of a guy I chatted in G4M several months ago using my faux account. He said he is married, has kids and is looking for a single parent dad who could sympathize with his situation. As for me, I can only sympathize with all the gay men wishing to have him, or his defined buff body as theirs.
I kept his picture so that I will be reminded of what my new aims should be.
2. A Gogoboy from O-Bar during this year's White Party.
I kept his picture so that I will be reminded of what my new aims should be.
2. A Gogoboy from O-Bar during this year's White Party.
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