Entry borrowed from my friend Biela.
---
Not to sound religious or anything close to it, but I'd like to share what I believe.
I believe in the power of prayer. Praying helps me live. I used to worry a lot. A lot like a whole lot for my own good. I used to see the doctor due to some unknown ailments only to be told that the cause of it is stress - from worrying too much.
One day, many years ago, as I was in a Christian bookstore (I mean, one that sells items generally connected to Christianity), I saw a postcard that said "why worry when you can pray?"
It changed me from then on. It wasn't a drastic kind of change, but it did something good to me. There was learning. Until now, the battle not to worry continues - or at least, not to worry as much.
I admit that praying is not an easy thing.
Sometimes, you don't have the time. Can't find it. Won't find it. Refuse to find it.
sometimes, it feels like it's not gonna change the course of things anyway, so why bother? Sometimes, I even doze off while praying and realize I have been saying words that didnt make sense as they echo through my just-shaken-up-from-slumber brains.
See how tough?
But i try not to lose the will. Because I know from within that someone I call God is listening to my prayers. He answers them. Sometimes with a yes, At times with a No. or with a guess-what-time-will-tell ending...
Praying makes me worry less. Once I lift all my cares to God, I already feel "lighter". I do not play the futile game of what-if's anymore. I find rest in the belief that if that's what He wants, then it'll come, with my liking it or not. I refuse to call it destiny. I see it as God's will.
When I ask something in prayer, I don't implore nor expect God to do as I say. I believe He knows my needs even before I ask, and He's the better judge of what my real needs are.
There are still many things I worry about in this life. Many things that I want - both those I can, and seemingly can not wait to have - But I try to live one day at a time.
When about to lose control, I simply look back to the many years I bore witness to God's unfailing love and support to me and my family. Milk and honey may not have overflowed, but we always had our fills. We may not always have had what we wanted, but we were never poor - spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and materially.
It has been many years. This is no time to doubt.
and when my child is already here, I wish to share her this wisdom.---
I may not be as deeply religious as some people I know. But rest assured, I am a believer. I live knowing that what I have is a borrowed life and as much as possible, I try to use my breath and blood not for mine but for those around me. I try to see the good side of things - no matter how difficult such seeing is for someone who keeps hang-ups from his past - for this kind of vision leads to brief moments of bliss that is infectious to others. This feeling of happiness, which comes in many forms - from giving spare change to an old lady who begs in the street to comforting a friend or a stranger in times of distress give me an overwhelming sense of peace.
It is these good deeds that fulfill my being. It makes me closer to the light.
And when time comes and things become a little uncertain, the weapon I use is not speculation or technology. I rely solely on prayers. It is a time-tested strategy that I use whenever I feel down, insecure or if my fear and anger threaten to control me. Like Biela, I learned to share my burdens with the Creator.
And humbly accepts whatever will He decides to bestow upon me.
Because when I look back, count up to my smallest blessings and remember all the good deeds I did to others, a moment's reflection would make me realize that life happens to have more sense knowing that I live my day with purpose.
It is still a long shot before I gain my spirituality.
But the mere fact I try my best to listen, pray and place goodness as my highest aim everyday somehow leads me closer to that goal.
---
At 4:16 pm yesterday, Biela delivered a healthy baby girl she named Amaya.
Four days after she wrote the entry in her multiply.
---
Not to sound religious or anything close to it, but I'd like to share what I believe.
I believe in the power of prayer. Praying helps me live. I used to worry a lot. A lot like a whole lot for my own good. I used to see the doctor due to some unknown ailments only to be told that the cause of it is stress - from worrying too much.
One day, many years ago, as I was in a Christian bookstore (I mean, one that sells items generally connected to Christianity), I saw a postcard that said "why worry when you can pray?"
It changed me from then on. It wasn't a drastic kind of change, but it did something good to me. There was learning. Until now, the battle not to worry continues - or at least, not to worry as much.
I admit that praying is not an easy thing.
Sometimes, you don't have the time. Can't find it. Won't find it. Refuse to find it.
sometimes, it feels like it's not gonna change the course of things anyway, so why bother? Sometimes, I even doze off while praying and realize I have been saying words that didnt make sense as they echo through my just-shaken-up-from-slumber brains.
See how tough?
But i try not to lose the will. Because I know from within that someone I call God is listening to my prayers. He answers them. Sometimes with a yes, At times with a No. or with a guess-what-time-will-tell ending...
Praying makes me worry less. Once I lift all my cares to God, I already feel "lighter". I do not play the futile game of what-if's anymore. I find rest in the belief that if that's what He wants, then it'll come, with my liking it or not. I refuse to call it destiny. I see it as God's will.
When I ask something in prayer, I don't implore nor expect God to do as I say. I believe He knows my needs even before I ask, and He's the better judge of what my real needs are.
There are still many things I worry about in this life. Many things that I want - both those I can, and seemingly can not wait to have - But I try to live one day at a time.
When about to lose control, I simply look back to the many years I bore witness to God's unfailing love and support to me and my family. Milk and honey may not have overflowed, but we always had our fills. We may not always have had what we wanted, but we were never poor - spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and materially.
It has been many years. This is no time to doubt.
and when my child is already here, I wish to share her this wisdom.---
I may not be as deeply religious as some people I know. But rest assured, I am a believer. I live knowing that what I have is a borrowed life and as much as possible, I try to use my breath and blood not for mine but for those around me. I try to see the good side of things - no matter how difficult such seeing is for someone who keeps hang-ups from his past - for this kind of vision leads to brief moments of bliss that is infectious to others. This feeling of happiness, which comes in many forms - from giving spare change to an old lady who begs in the street to comforting a friend or a stranger in times of distress give me an overwhelming sense of peace.
It is these good deeds that fulfill my being. It makes me closer to the light.
And when time comes and things become a little uncertain, the weapon I use is not speculation or technology. I rely solely on prayers. It is a time-tested strategy that I use whenever I feel down, insecure or if my fear and anger threaten to control me. Like Biela, I learned to share my burdens with the Creator.
And humbly accepts whatever will He decides to bestow upon me.
Because when I look back, count up to my smallest blessings and remember all the good deeds I did to others, a moment's reflection would make me realize that life happens to have more sense knowing that I live my day with purpose.
It is still a long shot before I gain my spirituality.
But the mere fact I try my best to listen, pray and place goodness as my highest aim everyday somehow leads me closer to that goal.
---
At 4:16 pm yesterday, Biela delivered a healthy baby girl she named Amaya.
Four days after she wrote the entry in her multiply.
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