Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Hacked Fate

It is sometimes ironic how God rewards his servants. Everyone is disheartened including our family. My mom was close to tears when she found out and was partly angered why man so pious was allowed by God to dealt with this problem. If this was our reaction more so I think for the couple and their children. This is indeed a big blow to our community. Whatever this test of faith to them and their family including our whole community. Everyone is praying for them....

- A Sad Fate, Gripenmanila


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Ironic how lives are lived and how fate plays to bring us into a certain situation we are not ready to face ourselves.

Take for example the events that happened to me today. As you all know, the dreaded report in one of my class in the graduate school took place this afternoon. The assignment was given more than a month ago. However, certain distractions at home and at work prevented me to focus on things that I must immediately do. It includes preparing for my school assignments, which I only took seriously when the first day of New Year arrived.

God knows I wasn't prepared to present the report last week. I also do not have an essay to submit in class because I was so focused in cramming for my report. So to buy me some more time, He intervened in my behalf and urged the regents of my university to declare a school holiday on the day I was supposed to present my report. Since it was the centennial celebrations, might as well double the fun by forcing the students to have a day break, the regents must have realized.

It was my chance to arm myself for the incoming deluge. But instead, I was in Eastwood City, helping my sister find a job that hopefully, would boost our dwindling resources. It was a promising enterprise for us, but a week after it all happened, we haven't found a suitable conclusion to her job-hunting story.

We are still searching... waiting. I hope fate would lead my sister to her calling.

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Fast forward:

Yesterday, I didn't report for work. I complained of muscle pains and mental fatigue due to work-out excesses I did since last week. It was an excuse of course, for even if the mental fatigue and the muscle pains were there, the real reason for my absence is to cram for school. In truth, the cramming did not materialize. Instead, I used up the whole day to sleep... and let myself drift in the currents of G4M, hoping to find a lasting resolution to what I am shallowly searching for.

Despite the earthly distractions, I managed to finish the half part of my school requirements for today. Much as it was hard and difficult to comprehend what those Postcolonialist gods were trying to tell me in their Literary Theories, I managed to cut and paste all their ideas. It was the foundation of my report this afternoon,

And I read it all in front of the class.

But the events leading to the fated reporting was not as easy, as things should have unfolded: The Word Document I used to write my report wasn't compatible with those used in Internet Cafes around my neighborhood. Mine was 2007, while theirs were of lower version. Lacking the funds to finance my project, I had to borrow from our house helper, unless I can endure an hour's waiting for the queue to disperse at the sole ATM booth near my place.

The tribulations never ended there. The whole afternoon, it was time that was against me.

If not for my sheer determination to see things through, I would have let things pass and accept my fate as a failure. But I have had so many wrong decisions in the past to let this one spark of light flicker without dodging the wind. I knew fate was challenging me, and all I have to do is to face it squarely in the battlefield called life.

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I arrived 15 minutes late in class. The professor was furious at me and as a consequence for my once-in-a semester tardiness, I got a minus .50 in my grade even before I started presenting my report. On the plus side however, not only was the professor impressed with my analysis; I was one of the handful of students who was able to submit a complete essay on time in his class.

Now the question remains whether those entries I plucked here in my blog would pass as a work of a great literary mind to satisfy him. The feedback seems gloomy, but I know,

I will survive.

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At the beginning of this entry, I included a quote from Gripen's most recent blog entry.

As those of you have read, one of the key Ayala people who would be prosecuted by the government in relation to the Glorietta blast is actually his neighbor. What's surprising about this man is that according to Gripen, he is a kind-hearted and pious person. He gives most of his earnings to the church and he tries to live as a civic-oriented individual, who inspires others to follow his lead.

Despite his enduring brilliance, a great tragedy has befallen him and his family.

Like most of you would ask, why does a good man deserve such fate? Is God really challenging this gentleman's mustard seed faith?

In all honesty, I would feel betrayed if such tragedy had befallen upon me. I would ask myself why I deserve such destruction, when I'm already humbling myself in the presence of the Creator.

Of course, these are just initial reactions to such a blow. Much as it is hard to accept, life and humanity must still bloom even in the toxic of wastes.

Now you ask me, what is the relationship of my story to Gripen's entry?

The answer is simple: I've been whining about my little troubles the whole day and the past weeks in this blog. But beyond my capacity to understand life itself, there are those whose lives are being violently shaken now that these thoughts form in my head.

Mine was just a little shake. It won't even register an intensity point 50

What if the big quake suddenly rocks my world?

Could I still proclaim my allegiance to God?

Could I still tap my little mustard seed faith?

Sometimes I wish I could simply renounce the world, so that I would never have any trouble detaching myself from material and physical enhancements.

But I'm just human.

The least thing I could do is to be aware of others, especially now that fate seems to still be, smiling at me.

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