Friday, January 4, 2008

Once There Was An Expedition - Night Landing Turbulence

The truth is, I don't want to study anymore.

The graduate school is getting boring. I don't have any concrete plans if, and ever I graduate from my Creative Writing Masters Program and my new work schedule somehow distracts me from my old academic drive.

I'd rather spend the nights partying and wandering around Manila rather than worry about the reports, readings and essays that are threatening to crush me all the way this January.

School will start tomorrow. But I made up my mind and decided not to attend my class in the afternoon. I need time to reflect - and catch up with the readings that I should have done during the holiday season. Yet, I never listened to my conscience. The fact is, I preoccupied myself whining about my hopeless computer.

Besides the report, I don't even have an essay yet to pass on Tuesday. Goodluck na lang sa akin.

It is obvious that I have become complacent after my entire body clock has been turned around fifteen days ago. Instead of doing something, I spent most of the time on the net, watching TV or comparing the difference between my life in the morning shift and my life now that i'm in the afternoon shift.

However, I started turning things around by going to the gym two nights ago. It was followed by my less sugar and carbohydrate intake which has been ongoing the moment I woke up yesterday. If and ever I could keep up with my workout routine later, I am fairly confident that I can declare one aspect of my life reclaimed. It's time to move on to the next phase of my reorganizing which will involve my academics.

Despite harboring feelings of procrastination, it is evident that there is no choice but to go on and do what I should do in order to complete my subjects this semester. Honestly, I'd like to return to the hills of Antipolo to remind myself of the promises I made when Diliman gave me this break. But time is against me and competing for my full attention towards my readings are some social and family duties which I cannot simply turn my back against.

Like accompanying my sister tomorrow for her first-ever job interview at IBM in the afternoon.

The readings are somewhat technical, and I would need a Literary Criticism expert to explain to me the terms that I need to explain in class on Tuesday. But without anyone to run to, I might as well put all my energies into exhorting the Filipino National Identity in myriad of ways - which my subject is all about.

The point is. I wrote this entry to serve as a battle cry for me to push myself and complete this endeavor:

I have come a very long way and there is no turning back.

To remember a time when I won't even get considered for a web content writer job should be enough as a reminder for me not to quit.

Today I would read all my readings. And research about them tomorrow. I will try to come up with a piece that I would submit in the same class on Tuesday.

If not, I'd pull something interesting from this blog.

The expedition of the armada continues. The journey resumes now.

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