Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Great Soul Searching | Last Part





Exhaustion claws dragging the weary to sleep. It was the first time in recent memory when the call of slumber came and slipped through the comfort of dreams. It must have been the business meeting earlier that night and the promises it brings. A start-up company, a passion I've been doing for ages, a good pay, a boss who is the husband of a former teacher. The elements are all present, the only thing missing is the blood compact that will finally seal the deal.

Two accounts disappeared, while two others had their first run. Hopes are high that these double strike will end the strings of whammy. The account I keep still bleeds profusely. Today a total output of an entire shift can be managed by a single agent. And there are more than 10 agents in that shift. It's no wonder, nobody was looking at my direction when their shift ended at six.

Project Raketship may have been too grand an idea, it ended in a flux. A series of misunderstood correspondence lead to a breakdown of communications. The trigger was a request for detailed instructions. The Virtual Assistant promised a prompt reply but reinforcements came in the form of a howling wind. While repeated inquiries about the article development flooded my email, my request for details were completely ignored. Silence fell on all channels. In the end, I courteously announced my decision to leave.

While doing my evaluation, I found several errors committed by the agent in focus. I was fuming mad of course, she had undergone a re-training just a few weeks ago. The bitch in me was ready to strike again, but then I realized,

"What is the point of being too hard, when she is just demoralized like everyone else."

So instead of slapping the agent with a glaring email (which could be read by everyone on the floor) to point out her errors, I gave a few examples that she could follow as part of the corrective measures included in the evaluation.

Today is the end of the month. In less than thirty days, a new life will carry on the torch from the old guards. A new generation will inherit the earth, and despite the unreadiness of his parents to bring him to this world. Hope sees through. It will be a year less before my mother retires and a year more before I embrace my third decade. These new realities colliding with my old principles are tearing the order apart.  When the dust settles, wisdom will be acquired.

If there are two things I have learned so far, first is to never allow oneself to be romantically attached. Love must take a backseat when the fate of an entire household is involved. Last is to learn to take chances. I maybe unprepared for the big jump, but I have made up my mind.

It is time to move on.




15 comments:

Nimmy said...

Best wishes for your future endeavors, and good luck on your next project kuya joms. Ü

dr magsasaka said...

It is always hard to make major decisions.

But, they are staple to adult life.

maginoongbulakenyo said...

good luck sa bagong raket joms :)

Louie said...

Very intense...

Here's to hoping that the big jump will be for the best. I can only offer you my prayers and wish you good luck.

You can do it Sir Mu[g]en! :)

BJ AcuÑa said...

uy uncle joms na sya in a month's time hehehe...

baket nman di ka pwede ma inlove? pwede nman pagsabayin ang lovelife and pag asikaso sa household.huwag mo masyado isakripisyo ang pansariling happiness...:P

orally said...

here's wishing you all the best in your future endeavors.
as the title of your last 2 entries suggests, i'm certain you are ready for that leap. goodluck mugen.

john stanley said...

in times like this, we can only hope that things will get better.

hold on, joms.

Ms. Chuniverse said...

i kinda agree with you on the last paragraph. you got me thinking. thanks for this post. ;-)

wanderingcommuter said...

i will always tell you to take the risk and hindi ako mapapagod na sabihin yun sa iyo because i totally trust you...

congrats sa magiging uncle. hehehe

kaloy said...

here's to your leap of faith! c:

drew said...

Buti naman at nahanap mo rin ang sagot. Good luck! =)

Mac Callister said...

true,its too difficult to love someone,pero madami masasaktan in the end....but i find it sad,specially,if its really true love...and goodluck sa kung anuman yang balak mo.

jc said...

good luck with the leap of faith, mugen!

nakakarelate ako sa pagsasantabi muna ng lovelife. lols.

c - e - i - b - o - h said...

learning to take chances might be one of the hardest things we can do in life, but still,those will help us to continuously grow and change for the better..

cheers mugen!

Mr. Hush Hush said...

nice read Mugen. Like what you did by controlling you inner bitch! hahaha sometimes we tend to let loose our emotions without considering those we vent them to.. This is very hard and I am still groping with this.

Hmmm.. what is life without challenges? =) ika nga, kaya mo yan +)