Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Atomic Fallout

I can feel their sadness.

My group and I had a drinking spree a while ago. It was one of our biggest gatherings this year, but it seems like everything's so pale and lonely. I'm not sure if it coincided with the cloudy weather but things aren't so good within ODDERspace.

Meng-Meng was so devastated after Bud didn't even take time to say hello to him after his brief appearance in the contingent. It was one of those moments I really wanted to avoid since I don't want to see a friend who cries over my shoulders. I don't know if it was intentional but it really affected Meng. I couldn't blame Bud either - considering his erratic personality, I think it is something to do with the things that happened to them before. However, I still feel sad for Waps, especially when I saw him crying in the bathroom.

Arj on the other hand was drunk at Timog, he too was suffering from a post-heartbreak syndrome which he actually created. However, it seems like it has gotten to a record low level in his morale. Hindi man kami nagkakasundo sa mga pinagagawa niya but still, I have to raise him up. I mean it when I told him that I really believe in his skills, he might have fucked up when it comes to relationships but still, he's a very formidable guy. I hope that he would listen to my advice though. The only thing he could do to move on is to redeem himself from all his mistakes. A good future awaits Arj and it's up to him if he would really take up the challenge seriously.

Andami na niya na-sacrifice para sa career niyang ito. Wag sanang maging hadlang ang kanyang pagkakamali sa pag-ibig para bumalik sa dati niyang pinanggalingan.

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The sadness never stopped there. Henry, who just broke up his relationship was still recovering from the trauma his ex bf gave him. Actually, I shared my sentiments with Fyro. We had the same worries about what if our buds would do such a thing to us. Heto na naman ako, creating monsters to haunt me and my peaceful relationship. I feel sorry for the guy, sabi niya mahal pa rin niya si Marlon pero what the fuck, if something is broken, shattered, and beyond recognition, it can never be put back again. Masakit, mahapdi at sobrang kalunos lunos pero ganun talaga eh... it would be very difficult to move on but he should. It's impossible to build a new life after a surprise and atrocious backstabbing. But life doesn't stop there, it's either you annihilate yourself or survive a break-up that you have never expected.

It was a depressing gathering. In fact, I'm not really sure if those happy faces are really happy, but what devastated me most is how Nate was affected by the sudden fallout with the guy he is in love with.

I saw the guy kissing someone in front of Nate last time at BED. It was an appalling scene, buti na lang lasing ako or I might have walked out in front of them as a sign of protest. Siguro kung sakin ginawa yun, minura ko na ng harap-harapan yung gagawa sakin nun. Man, it was so disappointing, kaya nga di ko masyado kinausap yung guy kanina eh. Aside from the fact that he's also dating a friend who used to belong to my political party. Too bad, the guy left him just as when my friend is starting to fall for him. What a player. Sensha na, friend ko yung guy but I think he's an asshole for doing that. Nyeta, kapag siya nakarma di ako magbibigay ng makabuluhang advice sa kanya. For God's sake, he's already old. He should know his priorities by now. In two years' time, he should be raising a family if he was straight. But since it's the opposite way, maybe he should be centering on building a strong relationship instead. Anyway, it's his life. Bahala na si batman sa kanya.

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If there's a lesson after what I've seen tonight is that I should treasure my buddy even more. Shempre hindi niya mababasa tong Blog kong to, but I just wanted to tell him how much I appreciated his effort to make this relationship work. I know he's kinda immature sometimes but as long as he completes me and gives me strength to live a day, that's already priceless.

I'm glad that Bes' bud came. From the look on his face, he seems very very happy to see Poi after some time. I hope that they will become stronger. Sobrang konti na lang namin sa group so we should support each other.

O sha, hanggang dito na lang Proxi. I still have to do some things afterward. I wish I could visit the wake of Rafraf's grandpa. As a friend, it's my obligation to do so. Good morning.

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