And it happened. To celebrate James' victory in his recently held Scrabble tournament, a lightning contingent was organized. To my surprise I thought only few guys would attend such contingent since there was no planned event for that night. I was even scheduled to terrorize BED again and dance all night if they didnt inform me of the party.
A few hours before I arrived, I had some misunderstandings with my bud. You see, this was a time of reckoning for me. I would rather locked myself up in my room than leave the house and face the world. In fact, if there's such a thing as "dying for one day" I would simply like to die this week, and then arrange my life the following week.
As I was talking to him, he fired heavy assaults about his problems in life... yada... yada... that he feels that he's gonna die soon... yada... yada... So I asked him if we could just finish our dinner then go out of the restaurant. While walking, he saw me deeply troubled. He asked me what is my problem. I simply said, I'm fucked up with my life and I wanna die this instant. I never told him that it was because I was facing my own set of problems and then he opened up a new front by telling his own. I'm only human. No matter how I portray myself as the savior, the ultimate fortress against problems and issues, I still crumble from time to time. Maybe Phanks is my source of strength but there are times that even his strength can't match my huge and ominous depression.
When he felt that I'm terribly troubled, he changed the discussion to give our conversation a lighter tone. I never remembered the things he said, but when he "discretely" snuggled against my back, I felt a warm, cozy feeling of having someone beside you. - aside from the fact that he's gently holding my hand and raising it up a little bit. For him, it may constitute as paglalambing but for me, it's like raising a forcefield above my crumbling fortress. At that moment, I felt so assured. At that moment, I wanted to kiss him and tell him that without him on my life,
I'll become lost again and again.
---
We strolled around Luneta and commenting at the huge statue of Lapu-Lapu standing at the former skating rink. Actually I wanted to talk more, but to avoid going to the topic about our problems, we just settled ourselves in having a seductive conversation, which oftentimes, give him a hardon.
It was 9:30 pm, we found an FX going to Valenzuela. I told him that I'll be celebrating James' victory at Paragon. I invited him but he said he's already sleepy. We parted ways at Monumento. 30 minutes after, I found myself knocking at James' door.
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