Responsorio

"I'm gay and I like you". Those are the words that I want to tell Mr. Crush. The situation is killing me.

Today, in the office on IM I kept teasing Mr. Crush, bugging him to treat me for a burger or a coffee, he just got promoted. He deserved it; he's hardworking and capable doing the job. Our friendship continues to grow and it scares me because I think I'm beginning to like him to the point of telling him my secret.

Secret which I'm sure is no longer a secret. Whenever it’s just the two of us inside the room, rest room or even in public we're like kids playing around, teasing each other embarrassing one another. I don't like this feeling.

He joked about inviting me to go to a night club. In my mind I want to tell him "hello can't you see I'm gay what will I do in a night club". I retorted “if it’s your treat I will go with you in a night club” and he said, “I'll pay for the entrance” what the f#$k I thought he would back out because I know he is thrifty. Situations like that make me speechless. I have to admit I like girls too at a certain level but at that point I just don’t know what to say.

I remember at the pantry, he forced me to stay so we’ll go home together.

Walking with the cool September air touching my skin and my crush beside me, how can I stop myself from telling Mr. Crush that I like him.

I hope he’s gay.

I need to develop my gaydar.

Joms I decided to post this one here, sobrang naging busy sa work eh. Siguro pag okay na I will share more story and send you message sa g4m. I hope your okay

Tama ba na sabihn ko kaya sa officemate ko na i like him.

-dscrt2

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It took me several days to respond to your letter. I am sorry my friend. As you know, certain events happened to me these past few days while preparing my blog entry to your very interesting comment. The gathering of thoughts and insights was quite a feat. Nevertheless, I guess all of us have encountered your situation once or twice in our PLU lives.

First rule in being a PLU; out yourself when you have nothing to lose. We've known each other for more than a year and based on my assessment, you won't come out of your shell no matter how I encouraged you to do so. I respect your reservations. But if you come out at such a make or break moment, his reaction or response might simply leave you disappointed. Better let things run its own course. I think there is no need for you to out yourself, no matter how his actions weakens your longing heart.

Remember that horsing around is normal for STRAIGHT guys. It is us PLUs who avoid physical contact with our kind as much as possible. Personally, I've seen some guy colleagues horsing around to the point that it would raise eyebrows once seen by men like us. But I figured out that such teasing and playing around is ordinary for them. They would even squeeze your thighs, squeeze your boobies or even hit your butt with their pointed fingers protruding just to make fun of you. For us, this is a sign of provocation. Two homos having such horseplay, will most likely lead to something else.

Finally, you said that he invited you to go to a nightclub? Maybe he still sees you as a straight guy that's why. These people don't have gaydars installed in their heads so maybe he was acting according to his instinct. Why not accept his invitation, except that instead of going to a nightclub, go to a bar somewhere in Timog? That would be a safe and neutral place to have fun with someone not of our kind.

Based from what you had shared with me, I can see that this guy sees a close friend in you. He seems to enjoy your company, and if you take your friendship on a higher level, he might become your confidant. Treasure your friendship bro and make it work in your favor. I suggest that you do not to speculate on his preference and instead, get to know him more. You haven't told me whether you engage in any senti conversations with him. Besides, speculating would only encourage malice to grow between you. It's bad for the friendship. If he turns out to be a hundred percent straight, then treat him accordingly. If the bond between you may lead into something more intimate because he is open to other "alternatives," then treasure him with all your heart - not many friends become lovers.

Remember bro. Everyone gets deceived sometimes. Not all of us can handle affection in a manner that we could simply separate such thing from being friendly to being close to intimate. Do what you wish, so long as it would not compromise your secret identity. Like him in a way that he would perceive it as merely a brotherly friendship and nothing more. Emphasize on the pakikisama and tropahan aspect of your bond. It would gain you so much leverage on him, if you know how to play your cards right.

Until next time bro. Remember the things that I've told you. Save the friendship and protect your emotions.

We still don't know what your friend's intentions truly are.