Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Yaya

How dare you insinuate that I could tolerate such a diabolical insult from a crap of humanity such as you! I would rather be deceived than to talk with you! You haven't heard the last of me yet you scoundrel, you nincompoop! You fiendish creature!!

- Inday, reaction sa palengke vendor nang malamang kulang ng 2 guhit ang nabiling tilapia.

---

There is no allusion of doubt nor the presumption of guilt that a mere wanton display of a cajoling crop of youth could possibly render the horticultural vessel in its now disparaged state...

- Inday, nang tinanong siya kung si Junior ba ang nakabasag ng Chinese vase.

---

Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?!?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: Nosebleed, nag hang ang utak.

---

Dear Sir/Madame

Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to procure and purchase your household essentials. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which I also monitor in ANC on a regular basis.

- Si inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke. Ingleshera ang putah.

---

Amo: Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. Ay honga pala, inglesera ka! Ahem, would you please buy MANY fishes for this week's meals?

Inday: Judging by your statement, i presume that you meant a variety of edible saltwater and freshwater fishes? The term 'fishes' although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different species of the said aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: What type of cut? Would it be Fillet or not? Does the fish have to be Frozen or fresh? (pauses) Ahh.. Given the meager budget afforded by this household's QUASI-PEASANT class taste, I assume that I shall source the staple "ga-lewng-gong." Am I correct?

Amo: Ah Leche, bumili ka na ng kahit ano, pa-ingles ingles ka pa hindi ka naman tiga-Harbard!

---

special thanks to lostwansoul et. al. for forwarding the inday text jokes to me.

No comments: