Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Return Of The Butterfly (Last Part)

The brief downpour has made the road slippery and dangerous for the motorists to tread. Inside the cab, I felt a surge of nostalgia as I mindlessly gazed at the passing cars racing against time to reach their destination. It was already past 1 am and for most people who were still outside, the night was still young despite the brief drizzle that had drenched the streets. Parties elsewhere were just beginning to take a full swing.

A few years back, I would claim the night was all mine to enjoy. However, work and other commitments had forced me to view the night as a frustrated company nowadays. The feelings of unfamiliarity, which had never crossed my thoughts before tempts me to cut my journey short and head home instead - to the warm embrace of my soft bed and tranquil desk lamp that comforted me in my sleep.

The journey, which took around 45 minutes from Veterans Village to Vito Cruz dragged for so long, I felt a deep thrust of restlessness slicing down my throat. The thoughts of Lostwansoul and the rest of the guys happily singing and drinking inside a cozy karaoke bar was the only thing that kept me sober.

However, the dictates of drunkenness had finally set in when I arrived at the Provident. Dragging myself out of the cab, I did not even notice Lostwan waiting for me outside the bar. If he never deliberately bumped himself into me, I would have wandered inside that terribly hot place searching for where room number 10 was located.

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The moment I dropped my bag at room number 10, I immediately went out to look for the nearest bathroom to take a leak. Lostwan decides to tag along since I don't know where the bathroom was and I was new to the place which is just a street across La Salle. While on our way to the bathroom (which was located at the far end of the second floor) he gave me a brief tour of the place to keep me in full control of my senses.

Wherever I looked at, lesbians were everywhere. Most of them are of the butch kind though, but some, were as hot as the girl who entertained us at Kirsh's birthday party. There were PLUs as well, but most of them surrounded themselves with female companions as they partied the night singing Mariah and Madonna's songs.

The events that unfolded after were a bit hazy, since my drunken state had already prevented me to think and act clearly. The only thing that I could remember was the sense of belongingness that I felt while greeting the guys who were present: Bananaboy, Techsupport, Swimbod, Sad&Blue and the celebrity couple Japhet and Jandreks. In times of extreme intoxication, I ease up my formalist approach to people to tell them what I really feel at that moment. Last night, I cannot remember the kind words I've said except for one; I told Bananaboy, whom I've known for almost two years how I missed his company. In fact, after not showing up in PEx gatherings for more than a month, I guess my overall feelings toward the guys were more of missing. Those who showed up last night (including several others who were absent) were the very people I'm always looking forward to see whenever I showed up in the meet-ups.

It was already getting late and after downing four more bottles of San Mig Light as I joined their "concert performance," I decided to head home simply to change clothes and go to work. At this point, I could not even walk straight anymore. If I am not mistaken, Sad&Blue, who was always there whenever I get extremely drunk such as what happened last night and Lostwan, followed me from the bathroom all the way to the lobby just to make sure I rode the cab in one piece.

My gratefulness will always be with them.

Looking back, the parties I attended last night came in a time when I am beginning to feel being left behind. It was a great moral booster especially since I started assessing how I socialize and interact with people. A few nights ago, I discovered that my friends in G4M decided to have a night out without informing me of their activities, even if I was texting two of them the same evening they went out. I even implied to Caretaker that it would have been easier to accept that they were having fun if I never got any word from them. But I guess that is how things work sometimes. As people used to say to me, do not force yourself in, when it is clearly obvious that they want your presence out.

As for last night, the reunions renewed the bonds I had with people who have been part of my life. It proves that the friendships I have with them endures despite the changing perceptions I have with my preference nowadays.

The gatherings taught me that in a time of renewed transitions and severe confusions, it is always good to have a reminder that a cornerstone of your past remains. Even if things change completely, at least there will be something to cherish whenever such changes leave you a feeling of being a bit lost.

I arrived home at past 3 am and the only thing I had in mind was to prepare myself going to work. It does not matter if I was drunk or not, the consequences of getting caught reporting for duty under the influence of alcohol had never really crossed my mind. For me, it was all but an experience. If I could pull myself together without getting noticed, then there is something for me to be proud of.

However, as I was preparing my things, my mom caught me and stopped me from leaving the house. She said that I should wait for the sun to rise and that the empty dark streets are still dangerous to tread even if I would take the cab going to work. Being the obedient son, I followed her command, especially after she assured me to wake me up for work. Drunkeness had finally consumed me and I was already throwing up at the sink. In such wasted state, there was no point to attempt the impossible since there was also no assurance that I could effectively do my duties in my account.

So I stayed home and nursed my swirling headache in my sleep.

Morning came and like what my mother had promised, she tried to wake me up to no avail. I did regain consciousness eventually, only to send this one single text message to my team leader. It was my assurance that no matter what happened, my absence would not incur a grave violation.

Gudam. D po ako makapasok. A im looking a3tpeq myr brotger.

She must have figured out what really happened.

I woke up past 8:30 in the morning, too late even to go on a half-day.

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