Thursday, October 4, 2007

Last Stand At Golgotha

Today begins my so-called hell days.

With four revised essays to submit and a 20-page literary criticism paper to begin with, I am uncertain whether I could finish the requirements before the deadline. The four essays for my Non-Fiction writing demands a major overhaul. At for for the literary criticism paper, I haven't finished yet the book which I will do a thorough study.

One major barrier for my progress is complacency. It prevents me from focusing my energies on what must be done and achieved. The objectives are very clear, but laziness, and misdirected creativity spent usually in blogging leaves me deadlocked when beginning to write my piece.

It would have been easier if I am in high-spirits while doing my papers. However, with the criticisms I received yesterday about the memoir I submitted in class, doubts about my writing capabilities had resurfaced once again.

The essay was my most ambitious project for the semester. Entitled Trinoma, it is a ten-page memoir about my crafty attempt to move on from an emotional turmoil last summer. My resolution was to use myself as an instrument to accept the situation. Darkstar, my imaginary alter-ego played a huge role in this essay. Apparently, the "jury" felt betrayed by the fact that after reading Trinoma up to a third of the piece, they discovered something that they did not expect; they were rudely surprised by the fact that the author was nothing more than just having a conversation with himself.

Others claim that my piece was more of a fiction than a non-fiction. Fortunately, the "moderator" defended me by saying that although the essay appears more of a fiction, its very earnest nature gives a hint that the writer was emotionally distraught during the time he was writing the essay. In the end, they all agreed that in dealing with the piece, I should apply more discretion on my emotions. A classmate suggested that I should put subtle hints before the final revelation of Darkstar.

The instructions were very clear. But personally, I do not know how to pull an ingenious device to please their suggestions. It is always hard to rewrite something you believed to be perfect already.

Rewriting would have been a bliss, if my computer is in perfect order.

But I just found out this morning that it was infected by a malicious Trojan virus. I strongly suspected that it was Phanks' file that infected it. When he accessed the file last night while doing his project, the Trojan was passed to my PC. The AVG anti-virus, which I installed in my computer the last time its operating system was reinstalled never saw the virus coming.

Although the computer is still operational, I have to endure the significantly slow processing speed that resulted from it being infected. I also have to bear in mind that since a virus spreads in my computer's system, the entire platform remains very unstable it could just shut down when I least expect it.

I could call a technician anytime to reformat my PC. However, I promised myself to have a very ambitious computer upgrade after I complete this semester. To reformat the computer now would only be a waste of resources. Therefore I have decided to risk all my efforts in finishing my papers rather than spending unnecessarily for a premature upgrade.

It will just distract my attention - especially knowing that I could play Sims 2 endlessly once my computer's processing speed significantly increases.

And so the last days of the semester begins. I would try my best to update my blog as religiously as I used to be. I should consider such postings a break from forceful creative thinking. When this is all over, I will upgrade my PC as promised. I will reward myself handsomely for a job well done. I will also have a major room clean-up and a wardrobe overhaul to prepare for the coming holidays.

For one last time before getting started with the business of closing the semester, I close my eyes to imagine my room all tidy after a day-long cleanup. Pressing the eject button, I put my Sims 2 Bon Voyage expansion cd in the DVD tray. My PC, which is twice as fast as what I am using today effortlessly load the game to the operating system.

I have the whole day for myself;

Me, finally getting a deserved rest.

How I wish 15 days could just happen in a blink of an eye.

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