This evening, I went to see a friend whose mother passed away recently. The wake was at a Methodist Church somewhere in T.M. Kalaw. News of the death spread like wildfire, that even if we didn't discuss it at PEx, many members of the core group showed up to express their sincerest condolences to the family of the deceased.
The mood upstairs, where the remains of my friend's mother lie in state was solemn. Downstairs, it was different. We were even laughing while seated on the steps of the chapel entrance and waiting for a friend's arrival. Lostwansoul provided the entertainment, as he recalled the blooper moments as to how the PExers received the sad news of the passing.
"Hay nako, yang si Japhet, alas-sais ng umaga tumawag sa akin at humahagulgol." Lostwansoul began in a flamboyant tone . "Paano kasi, si Mamang daw patay na."
What's fascinating was that Japhet is not even the son of the dead lady. His boyfriend is. In fact, it was Japhet who was optimistic about the recovery of his boyfriend's mother, even if his boyfriend had humbly accepted his mother's imminent passing.
"Bakit ka umiiyak eh hindi ka naman kapamilya?" Lostwan asked.
"Eh kasi... basta..." Japhet answered between sobs.
In many PLU circles that I belong, there is always an official couple that stands out in the group. The Odders have Papu and Joey, the Toma Alliance have Trey and HB, and at PEx, we have Japhet and Jandreks. Like all couples, they have their issues - and they are usually more complicated than the one I face. The thing is, despite their failings, they still serve as a blueprint for all PLUs aspiring to have a relationship. They are a source of inspiration for those still looking and dreaming to find their dream boyfriend swimming in the same pink ocean we all swim.
Now lets get back and focus on Japhet and Jandreks, who are the undisputed official couple of my PEx Barkada. To give you an idea, Jandreks is a sports buff. He works in a sports gear store and attends soccer practice on weekends. His partner Japhet is the exact opposite. He is a humble school teacher whose fascination delves into arts and crafts.
What I like about this couple is that they never fail to extend their kindness, even though they don't know much about me. The reason why I was able to find the resort during the group's recent Tagaytrip trip was because of Jandrek's assistance in helping me get the phone numbers of those who attended the outing. Japhet on the other hand, had always been my confidant especially when it comes to the issues surrounding the barkada. He also addresses me as Kuya whenever we talk, despite the fact that he is the one older than me.
Japhet and Jandreks, like all couples have their little disagreements. When one gets angry, that person walks out even in full view of the entire barkada. We laugh whenever these bouts come out of our recollections. Lately however, something had made me see their relationship in a much higher perspective.
For all the times I've been looking for that one silver lining that will make me believe in the miracle of PLU relationships, here comes Japhet who openly shared his partner's hardships during the entire month that his mother was confined in the hospital.
Their story, which I played over and over my head on my way home conjures an image of Japhet talking to the doctors trying to understand his mother-in-law's condition; of him going out of PGH at ungodly hours of the night to buy medicines for Jandrek's mother; of him, looking after Jandreks, while taking care of his mother as well. These images gave a brief spark of hope, so bright for me to realize that real partnerships happen among male couples.
That it doesn't work one-way all the time.
As I stood up to get ready to leave the chapel, I saw Japhet in front of the ataul, carefully arranging the Orchid flowers on his mother-in-law's coffin. His hands were graceful and elegant as the purple, everlasting flowers fall into their proper corners. His face expressed grief and pain, strong enough to set those around him on a somber mood. His mother was there as well, seated on one of the vacant chairs at the back. I could only assume that her presence was to assure Japhet that despite the passing storm, everything will be alright.
Looking at the scene, I think, it was a perfect setting for two PLU families meeting together to share a collective grief. It doesn't matter if my two friends were already out. But their example only proves that yes, homosexual relationships can be accepted by families.
Phanks and I have been together for five years. Japhet and Jandreks have been for at least two. Between us and them, they have achieved something that I cannot claim myself.
I just hope that despite their differences and petty quarrels, they will last long in the relationship...
... long enough to give me a reason to pull myself out of cynicism and believe that it doesn't have to be me carrying the world's burdens all the time.
The mood upstairs, where the remains of my friend's mother lie in state was solemn. Downstairs, it was different. We were even laughing while seated on the steps of the chapel entrance and waiting for a friend's arrival. Lostwansoul provided the entertainment, as he recalled the blooper moments as to how the PExers received the sad news of the passing.
"Hay nako, yang si Japhet, alas-sais ng umaga tumawag sa akin at humahagulgol." Lostwansoul began in a flamboyant tone . "Paano kasi, si Mamang daw patay na."
What's fascinating was that Japhet is not even the son of the dead lady. His boyfriend is. In fact, it was Japhet who was optimistic about the recovery of his boyfriend's mother, even if his boyfriend had humbly accepted his mother's imminent passing.
"Bakit ka umiiyak eh hindi ka naman kapamilya?" Lostwan asked.
"Eh kasi... basta..." Japhet answered between sobs.
In many PLU circles that I belong, there is always an official couple that stands out in the group. The Odders have Papu and Joey, the Toma Alliance have Trey and HB, and at PEx, we have Japhet and Jandreks. Like all couples, they have their issues - and they are usually more complicated than the one I face. The thing is, despite their failings, they still serve as a blueprint for all PLUs aspiring to have a relationship. They are a source of inspiration for those still looking and dreaming to find their dream boyfriend swimming in the same pink ocean we all swim.
Now lets get back and focus on Japhet and Jandreks, who are the undisputed official couple of my PEx Barkada. To give you an idea, Jandreks is a sports buff. He works in a sports gear store and attends soccer practice on weekends. His partner Japhet is the exact opposite. He is a humble school teacher whose fascination delves into arts and crafts.
What I like about this couple is that they never fail to extend their kindness, even though they don't know much about me. The reason why I was able to find the resort during the group's recent Tagaytrip trip was because of Jandrek's assistance in helping me get the phone numbers of those who attended the outing. Japhet on the other hand, had always been my confidant especially when it comes to the issues surrounding the barkada. He also addresses me as Kuya whenever we talk, despite the fact that he is the one older than me.
Japhet and Jandreks, like all couples have their little disagreements. When one gets angry, that person walks out even in full view of the entire barkada. We laugh whenever these bouts come out of our recollections. Lately however, something had made me see their relationship in a much higher perspective.
For all the times I've been looking for that one silver lining that will make me believe in the miracle of PLU relationships, here comes Japhet who openly shared his partner's hardships during the entire month that his mother was confined in the hospital.
Their story, which I played over and over my head on my way home conjures an image of Japhet talking to the doctors trying to understand his mother-in-law's condition; of him going out of PGH at ungodly hours of the night to buy medicines for Jandrek's mother; of him, looking after Jandreks, while taking care of his mother as well. These images gave a brief spark of hope, so bright for me to realize that real partnerships happen among male couples.
That it doesn't work one-way all the time.
As I stood up to get ready to leave the chapel, I saw Japhet in front of the ataul, carefully arranging the Orchid flowers on his mother-in-law's coffin. His hands were graceful and elegant as the purple, everlasting flowers fall into their proper corners. His face expressed grief and pain, strong enough to set those around him on a somber mood. His mother was there as well, seated on one of the vacant chairs at the back. I could only assume that her presence was to assure Japhet that despite the passing storm, everything will be alright.
Looking at the scene, I think, it was a perfect setting for two PLU families meeting together to share a collective grief. It doesn't matter if my two friends were already out. But their example only proves that yes, homosexual relationships can be accepted by families.
Phanks and I have been together for five years. Japhet and Jandreks have been for at least two. Between us and them, they have achieved something that I cannot claim myself.
I just hope that despite their differences and petty quarrels, they will last long in the relationship...
... long enough to give me a reason to pull myself out of cynicism and believe that it doesn't have to be me carrying the world's burdens all the time.
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