It is already 4 o' clock in the morning but I still can't sleep.
Half drunk and exhausted from my journey, I turn to both sides of the wooden floor hoping that a correct fetal position would be my key to a deep slumber. A part of me is ready to leave consciousness behind, but knowing that a PExer had taken an early-morning dip in spite of the near-freezing waters of the swimming pool nearby, I cannot afford to leave him behind.
Earlier, I tried to ward-off exhaustion by engaging Dark0lighter to a conversation. It's been ages since we updated each other lives, despite being closely acquainted even during the earliest days of the Hanap Barkada group. We talked about his threads in PEx and I complemented his good writing skills. He told me that he's just having fun writing down his thoughts and sharing them to everyone. His answers made me realize that it would be better for him to stay in PEx rather than invite him to write in a blog. After all, people thrive best in their comfort zones.
Inside the cottage, Swimbud and .dot. were sound asleep on the sofa downstairs. Meanwhile, the revelers in the bedroom were about to wrap up their glamorous drinking session after getting wasted over two pitchers of Gin Blue Cocktail drinks that Kyosero had mixed for us. What's good about the group is that since we're quite comfortable with one another, it doesn't matter whether a member is a masculine or an effeminate. People were having fun learning new gay lingo words introduced by Lifeline20 and Larry Perez entertained us with his tear-jerker punchlines while being our tanggero for the night.
Back in the veranda, I found myself lying on a slab of concrete. It was across the monoblock chair where Dark0lighter was seated and deeply pondering over something, when another PExer showed up to join us. He didn't participate in the conversation, but instead listened to what Dark0 and I were talking about. Suddenly, Lostwan stepped out of the cottage only to inform us that everyone's drunk and were ready to hit the sack.
Dark0 went back to the bedroom after being interrupted from his sleep an hour earlier. Lostwan followed him after making sure that everything is set before calling it a night. I found him snoring on the floor a few minutes later. Perhaps, the day-long logistics and out of town planning had drained most of his energy reserves.
And there were the two of us last men standing. The other guy, who they lovingly called Chelsea, for reasons still not clear to me, said that he would wait for sun to rise by going to the pool area for a swim.
I soon followed him thinking that the water wasn't that cold...
...only to jump out a few seconds later I have taken a dip. I was on my knees begging for warmth to wrap me in its arms on one of the benches near the poolside. My body was shaking violently and it felt like someone had kicked my torso while having my swim. Chelsea on the other hand, continued his doing his laps on the shallow part of the pool. His arms were stretched, like those of an owl flapping its wings over icy waters.
After regaining my composure, I returned to the cottage since I wore only my board shorts when I went to the pool area. I changed back to my sleeping attire to retire on the only available space beside Lostwan's part of the floor.
And I tried to get some sleep, but the thoughts of Chelsea kept me awake the whole time.
Rolling on to my sides, I remembered my last conversation with him while racing across the sub-zero pool. He told me that he could only swim on shallow areas, and that he plans to swim on those deeper parts just to see how far he could get. Our conversation worried me a lot. I do not intend to spend my only summer vacation with someone who went down into his watery grave while waiting for sunrise to come.
With this thought in mind, I decided to get up and return to the pool area. Much as I hate to extend my waking hours looking after someone I just met, knowing that I have prevented a disaster from happening was far better than ignoring it completely in exchange for my own rest.
"Isipin mo na lang, isa sa mga anak mo yung naglalangoy. At least sa sobrang protective mo, sisipagin ka talagang magbantay kahit antok na antok ka na," I told myself.
Armed with an Ipod and a blanket draped like a Pashmina over my shoulders, I went back to look for Chelsea. He was still there flapping his arms over the water unaware that I was there to watch over him. I sat on the same bench which bore witness to my violent shaking after stupidly diving into an icy pool earlier. Turning my iPod on while acting as his personal lifeguard, I could not hear what he said when he saw me. I'm not interested to know it either. I was there so that when he suffers from cramps while doing his stroke, someone close could save him from an unfortunate and meaningless death by hypothermia.
Half drunk and exhausted from my journey, I turn to both sides of the wooden floor hoping that a correct fetal position would be my key to a deep slumber. A part of me is ready to leave consciousness behind, but knowing that a PExer had taken an early-morning dip in spite of the near-freezing waters of the swimming pool nearby, I cannot afford to leave him behind.
Earlier, I tried to ward-off exhaustion by engaging Dark0lighter to a conversation. It's been ages since we updated each other lives, despite being closely acquainted even during the earliest days of the Hanap Barkada group. We talked about his threads in PEx and I complemented his good writing skills. He told me that he's just having fun writing down his thoughts and sharing them to everyone. His answers made me realize that it would be better for him to stay in PEx rather than invite him to write in a blog. After all, people thrive best in their comfort zones.
Inside the cottage, Swimbud and .dot. were sound asleep on the sofa downstairs. Meanwhile, the revelers in the bedroom were about to wrap up their glamorous drinking session after getting wasted over two pitchers of Gin Blue Cocktail drinks that Kyosero had mixed for us. What's good about the group is that since we're quite comfortable with one another, it doesn't matter whether a member is a masculine or an effeminate. People were having fun learning new gay lingo words introduced by Lifeline20 and Larry Perez entertained us with his tear-jerker punchlines while being our tanggero for the night.
Back in the veranda, I found myself lying on a slab of concrete. It was across the monoblock chair where Dark0lighter was seated and deeply pondering over something, when another PExer showed up to join us. He didn't participate in the conversation, but instead listened to what Dark0 and I were talking about. Suddenly, Lostwan stepped out of the cottage only to inform us that everyone's drunk and were ready to hit the sack.
Dark0 went back to the bedroom after being interrupted from his sleep an hour earlier. Lostwan followed him after making sure that everything is set before calling it a night. I found him snoring on the floor a few minutes later. Perhaps, the day-long logistics and out of town planning had drained most of his energy reserves.
And there were the two of us last men standing. The other guy, who they lovingly called Chelsea, for reasons still not clear to me, said that he would wait for sun to rise by going to the pool area for a swim.
I soon followed him thinking that the water wasn't that cold...
...only to jump out a few seconds later I have taken a dip. I was on my knees begging for warmth to wrap me in its arms on one of the benches near the poolside. My body was shaking violently and it felt like someone had kicked my torso while having my swim. Chelsea on the other hand, continued his doing his laps on the shallow part of the pool. His arms were stretched, like those of an owl flapping its wings over icy waters.
After regaining my composure, I returned to the cottage since I wore only my board shorts when I went to the pool area. I changed back to my sleeping attire to retire on the only available space beside Lostwan's part of the floor.
And I tried to get some sleep, but the thoughts of Chelsea kept me awake the whole time.
Rolling on to my sides, I remembered my last conversation with him while racing across the sub-zero pool. He told me that he could only swim on shallow areas, and that he plans to swim on those deeper parts just to see how far he could get. Our conversation worried me a lot. I do not intend to spend my only summer vacation with someone who went down into his watery grave while waiting for sunrise to come.
With this thought in mind, I decided to get up and return to the pool area. Much as I hate to extend my waking hours looking after someone I just met, knowing that I have prevented a disaster from happening was far better than ignoring it completely in exchange for my own rest.
"Isipin mo na lang, isa sa mga anak mo yung naglalangoy. At least sa sobrang protective mo, sisipagin ka talagang magbantay kahit antok na antok ka na," I told myself.
Armed with an Ipod and a blanket draped like a Pashmina over my shoulders, I went back to look for Chelsea. He was still there flapping his arms over the water unaware that I was there to watch over him. I sat on the same bench which bore witness to my violent shaking after stupidly diving into an icy pool earlier. Turning my iPod on while acting as his personal lifeguard, I could not hear what he said when he saw me. I'm not interested to know it either. I was there so that when he suffers from cramps while doing his stroke, someone close could save him from an unfortunate and meaningless death by hypothermia.
Suddenly, a cool breeze blows against my face. This soothing wind, with the pine scent coming from the peaks has stirred my senses and reminded me of a chance to commune with nature.
Realizing this opportunity, I moved from my comfortable spot on the bench to the poolside floor a few feet away. I put my blanket on top of my head so it would fall down like a veil covering my whole body. I sat in a cross-legged position imitating the great Buddha with my hands clasped for supplication.
I was about to attempt to do a meditation
when nature begins to speak.
I was about to attempt to do a meditation
when nature begins to speak.
A chorus of roosters' crow can be heard from a distance, and the sky, which was pitch black a few minutes earlier has now changed its color and reveals a darker shade of blue.
The sun is about to rise as the cool pine scent wafts under my nose.
For the first time since arriving from Manila,
Silence becomes a sweet lullaby to my ears
while the fallen dewdrops from leaves have nourished
my thirsty heart longing for peace.
With the stars passionately burning inside my soul
and with nature reciting its humble poem of the cycle
of birth, death and rebirth;
of sunrise and sunset in an endless waltz across the sky;
of moments that will never happen again,
I find the universe becoming one with me.
---
-tobecontinued-
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