Malate is a place where dreams are made and where fairy tales do not end with happy endings. It is a place of refuge for those who mend a broken heart or a shattered soul by lathering their throats with beer and partying the night away with house music until the sound numbs weary ears and the dancing drains energy from exhausted feet. Malate is a home for those who wishes to forget and for those trying to escape the agony of living a suspended life. Yet, despite the sorrowful stories that come out of that place, Malate is still full of promises. Amidst the teeming mass of lonely gay people dancing aimlessly at the center of the dance floor, there are moments when fate intervenes and connects two people who share a common longing.
And perhaps even a common dream.
That promise is what keeps people like me to return over and over to Malate. Even if there are no assurances of a happy ending after the night is over, the thought of a stranger making you feel complete is what makes the whole endeavor worth doing.
I went out last night after a week's absence in the club scene. The choices are tough for I already exhausted myself in the gym that evening and the feeling of weariness is enough reason to go home. However, the lingering thought of an ex-boyfriend suddenly knocking at your door and asking the maid if he could sleep over crept like some terminal fear that drove me to the smoke-filled hall of Che'lu. Running away instead of confronting a hanging issue proved more feasible for someone as broken as me.
Nothing has changed at Che'lu when I entered the bar. The same beautiful people lined its narrow corridor leading to the dance floor. The same effeminate twinks danced on the ledge with their smooth and lean naked bodies and with a plastered smile fit for glossy magazines. The same old house tracks were being played by the DJ. I could say that the scene was getting boring and for several occasions I contemplated whether my age of rage is finally over. You see, serenity dawned to me after the separation and the frustration I expressed through dancing wasn't there anymore.
I was expecting a boring night, which I planned to cut short by 2 am. However, it seems like someone had other plans for me last night. As I moved my body slightly to make it appear that I was dancing, I noticed this tall guy beside me. He looked Caucasian judging from his Surfer haircut and strong jawbone alone. He looked grungie and danced like he owned half of the dance floor. Tipsy, he would move from one side of the floor to the other. He would brush my right arm for support when he crosses in front of me. I never took his brushing as a move to get my attention. However, when our body contact became more frequent, I got what he hinted all along:
He wanted to dance with me.
I granted his invitation with much hesitation at the back of my head. I knew that I could never match his moves and I had an idea where it would lead to - bed. Had the dancing happened when I was still taken, it would have been easy to draw the line that separates emotion from lust. Now that I'm single, things are different. I could do whatever I wish to do.
At the price only my heart would pay.
What made me change my mind was his near-perfect smile. He was far cuter than I initially assumed and his smile blew away all traces of grumpiness that I felt the whole day. His bawdy dancing revealed a very drunken state and whenever I held his arms firmly, (every time he was about to fall) I felt his need for companion, for the night has been hard on him.
"Lasing ka na ah, nakailang bote ka na ba?" I asked.
He just smiled and raised his hand to show his four fingers.
Our dance continued without uttering a single word. Like the other dance partners I had before, there is solace in silence. It's like no matter how the music beats pounded our ears, the unspoken connection between us is what makes our bond secure. The bodily movements were never really important. It is the presence of the other that matters.
"This is the first time I've been here," he finally confessed while Janet Jackson's Feedback blared on the stereo.
"Talaga? What brought you to this place?"
"I just broke up with my ex." He said.
"When?"
"Three weeks ago." His face turned gloomy.
"Lemme guess, you broke up last October 1?"
He never uttered a single word. Instead, he leaned his head on my shoulders. Something tells me that our encounter was a serendipity. Who would have thought that I would meet someone who broke up at the same time I quit my five-year relationship. This was indeed something and our revelations lead us closer to each other.
The music played on while intimacy began to settle in. He was a very aggressive make-out partner. He would gently bite my neck, nibble my ears and still won't give me a chance to return the favor. When he would kiss me in the lips, he would grab my neck then passionately run his lips into mine. No wonder, I fought back with much passion that he would later say.
"Tangina men, ang galing mo humalik."
Much as I would like to stay and look after him (and his bag which he left somewhere near the ledge) time was against us. I already spent my gimmick pass last Friday and what kept me out last night was a "work" excuse at home.
"I thought you're gonna bring me home." He said frowning. Gotcha! My hunch was right all along, this affair would end up in bed if I don't hold back my defenses.
"But I have work at 4 am."
"Ganun? Sige na nga samahan mo lang ako magyosi sa labas. Sabay na tayo umuwi."
I agreed to extend my stay so I'd get to know more the only dance partner I had for the night. It was never my habit to switch partners like others do on the floor. Instead, when I find someone who's worth keeping, I'd stick to that person as long as he wants my company.
We went to a nearby stand since he had one stick left. The whole time we were together, I never looked at his face. The reason was simple, I find him too attractive that I felt that my presence wasn't worthy. Besides, the "market insecurities" that I raised a few weeks ago is something I still need to address. I know he was drunk and he blabbers things that probably he never meant at all. However, when he told me these words,
"Ngayon ko lang narealize ang cute mo pala."
It was as if my stock market rallied to an all time high, financial analysts would claim that I am out of recession.
We walked towards Nakpil to hail him a cab. We still talked about little things that we find interesting. His affirmation brought back my confidence that I started talking to him in equal terms. He might be three years older, but I certainly know that we might have something in common other than our prowess in bed.
"Hey can I ask you a question?"
"What is it?" He replied while putting on his aviator sunglasses.
"What music do you listen to?"
"Hmmm... Alternative and Slow Rock. Ikaw?"
"Seriously?!?"
"Yeah why?" He asked back.
"Listen to this."
I took out my iPod player and let him listen to a track that only few guys know. It's an Our Lady Peace song that I really love. A long time ago, I was so in love with that song that I swore that if anyone digs it the way I do, I'd give myself up because I've learned from my failed relationships how similarity in interests strengthen the bond between two people.
He listened to the song for a few minutes.
"OMG, we really have something in common. Isayaw natin ito men"
At the corner of Nakpil and Orosa streets, he hugged me tight despite the throngs of people around us. They're all gay alright, but at that moment, I felt that I've finally met the man I've been searching all this time.
The plan to go home at 2 am was aborted. I decided to stay with him, have another drink and dance at Chelu like our lifetime only last for one night.
---
Turned on the radio, to find you on satellite
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
Though we are
It's all so far
You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there
- Somewhere Out There, Our Lady Peace
-tobecontinued-
And perhaps even a common dream.
That promise is what keeps people like me to return over and over to Malate. Even if there are no assurances of a happy ending after the night is over, the thought of a stranger making you feel complete is what makes the whole endeavor worth doing.
I went out last night after a week's absence in the club scene. The choices are tough for I already exhausted myself in the gym that evening and the feeling of weariness is enough reason to go home. However, the lingering thought of an ex-boyfriend suddenly knocking at your door and asking the maid if he could sleep over crept like some terminal fear that drove me to the smoke-filled hall of Che'lu. Running away instead of confronting a hanging issue proved more feasible for someone as broken as me.
Nothing has changed at Che'lu when I entered the bar. The same beautiful people lined its narrow corridor leading to the dance floor. The same effeminate twinks danced on the ledge with their smooth and lean naked bodies and with a plastered smile fit for glossy magazines. The same old house tracks were being played by the DJ. I could say that the scene was getting boring and for several occasions I contemplated whether my age of rage is finally over. You see, serenity dawned to me after the separation and the frustration I expressed through dancing wasn't there anymore.
I was expecting a boring night, which I planned to cut short by 2 am. However, it seems like someone had other plans for me last night. As I moved my body slightly to make it appear that I was dancing, I noticed this tall guy beside me. He looked Caucasian judging from his Surfer haircut and strong jawbone alone. He looked grungie and danced like he owned half of the dance floor. Tipsy, he would move from one side of the floor to the other. He would brush my right arm for support when he crosses in front of me. I never took his brushing as a move to get my attention. However, when our body contact became more frequent, I got what he hinted all along:
He wanted to dance with me.
I granted his invitation with much hesitation at the back of my head. I knew that I could never match his moves and I had an idea where it would lead to - bed. Had the dancing happened when I was still taken, it would have been easy to draw the line that separates emotion from lust. Now that I'm single, things are different. I could do whatever I wish to do.
At the price only my heart would pay.
What made me change my mind was his near-perfect smile. He was far cuter than I initially assumed and his smile blew away all traces of grumpiness that I felt the whole day. His bawdy dancing revealed a very drunken state and whenever I held his arms firmly, (every time he was about to fall) I felt his need for companion, for the night has been hard on him.
"Lasing ka na ah, nakailang bote ka na ba?" I asked.
He just smiled and raised his hand to show his four fingers.
Our dance continued without uttering a single word. Like the other dance partners I had before, there is solace in silence. It's like no matter how the music beats pounded our ears, the unspoken connection between us is what makes our bond secure. The bodily movements were never really important. It is the presence of the other that matters.
"This is the first time I've been here," he finally confessed while Janet Jackson's Feedback blared on the stereo.
"Talaga? What brought you to this place?"
"I just broke up with my ex." He said.
"When?"
"Three weeks ago." His face turned gloomy.
"Lemme guess, you broke up last October 1?"
He never uttered a single word. Instead, he leaned his head on my shoulders. Something tells me that our encounter was a serendipity. Who would have thought that I would meet someone who broke up at the same time I quit my five-year relationship. This was indeed something and our revelations lead us closer to each other.
The music played on while intimacy began to settle in. He was a very aggressive make-out partner. He would gently bite my neck, nibble my ears and still won't give me a chance to return the favor. When he would kiss me in the lips, he would grab my neck then passionately run his lips into mine. No wonder, I fought back with much passion that he would later say.
"Tangina men, ang galing mo humalik."
Much as I would like to stay and look after him (and his bag which he left somewhere near the ledge) time was against us. I already spent my gimmick pass last Friday and what kept me out last night was a "work" excuse at home.
"I thought you're gonna bring me home." He said frowning. Gotcha! My hunch was right all along, this affair would end up in bed if I don't hold back my defenses.
"But I have work at 4 am."
"Ganun? Sige na nga samahan mo lang ako magyosi sa labas. Sabay na tayo umuwi."
I agreed to extend my stay so I'd get to know more the only dance partner I had for the night. It was never my habit to switch partners like others do on the floor. Instead, when I find someone who's worth keeping, I'd stick to that person as long as he wants my company.
We went to a nearby stand since he had one stick left. The whole time we were together, I never looked at his face. The reason was simple, I find him too attractive that I felt that my presence wasn't worthy. Besides, the "market insecurities" that I raised a few weeks ago is something I still need to address. I know he was drunk and he blabbers things that probably he never meant at all. However, when he told me these words,
"Ngayon ko lang narealize ang cute mo pala."
It was as if my stock market rallied to an all time high, financial analysts would claim that I am out of recession.
We walked towards Nakpil to hail him a cab. We still talked about little things that we find interesting. His affirmation brought back my confidence that I started talking to him in equal terms. He might be three years older, but I certainly know that we might have something in common other than our prowess in bed.
"Hey can I ask you a question?"
"What is it?" He replied while putting on his aviator sunglasses.
"What music do you listen to?"
"Hmmm... Alternative and Slow Rock. Ikaw?"
"Seriously?!?"
"Yeah why?" He asked back.
"Listen to this."
I took out my iPod player and let him listen to a track that only few guys know. It's an Our Lady Peace song that I really love. A long time ago, I was so in love with that song that I swore that if anyone digs it the way I do, I'd give myself up because I've learned from my failed relationships how similarity in interests strengthen the bond between two people.
He listened to the song for a few minutes.
"OMG, we really have something in common. Isayaw natin ito men"
At the corner of Nakpil and Orosa streets, he hugged me tight despite the throngs of people around us. They're all gay alright, but at that moment, I felt that I've finally met the man I've been searching all this time.
The plan to go home at 2 am was aborted. I decided to stay with him, have another drink and dance at Chelu like our lifetime only last for one night.
---
Turned on the radio, to find you on satellite
I'm waiting for the sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
Though we are
It's all so far
You're falling back to me
The star that I can see yeah
I know you're out there, somewhere out there
- Somewhere Out There, Our Lady Peace
-tobecontinued-
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