Thursday, June 25, 2009

Games Some Men Play: Carrot and Stick

Single siya now. Last gf niya last july pa daw. He has a son pero wiz nga kasama. I dont know kasi kung what's on his mind. He texts everyday asking me kung okay ako, ganun.

We eat out after work out. Yesterday he gave me na his house number (I didn't ask), this saturday, samahan ko daw fencing class niya.

Ewan ko ba, I did that. I don't text him, he text me. Pag sinasabi ko feelings ko, all I get is "sus" or "umaarte na naman ako." Why can't he just say "no pare, di ako bading" divah?


A friend once said that "Men want it cold when it's hot, and hot when it's cold." The aphorism surfaced back in college at the height of my chick-hunting days. I cannot recall the reason for him to say those lines, but such fine words had a deep impact on me. It stuck, like a gum to a hair and every waking moment I gamble with my heart to win someone nowadays, the same words echo in my ear instinctively telling me how some men play their game.

One classic example was this guy I fell infatuated with many years back. He caught my attention after a fateful flirt conversation over Yahoo before I went to a birthday party. The next thing I knew, we were talking for hours over the phone. I even made several blog entries referred to him. We were on the verge of falling romantically with each other until he found my old photo on some gay social networking site. This discovery lead to a sudden fall out. The sweet conversations completely ceased and in its place were the sleazy text exchanges which lead to frequent verbal trippings on the phone.

I told a friend about my situation. I asked him why the crush kept me as a boytoy when he could have abandoned me at the time of our fall out. My friend explained that the crush is aware of my infatuation. I fed his ego by being his "yes man" without expecting anything in return. He added that as a consolation, he allowed me to become his lust reliever - someone he could fool around with without being emotionally attached to me. My friend's suggestion made me realize one aspect of manhood which I have nearly forgotten had it not for a crush applying the full force of its essence on me.

So Caladryl lang pala niya ako.

Learning was easy and in no time, I was already riding his trip. I responded as eagerly as I could whenever he tapped me for his needs. I was his kept man, and if not for the lack of place where we could do the deed, he could have filled my calls of the flesh as well. He could have been a fuck buddy and when our goal was finally sealed (we did it in a very public place) a sense of disengagement was at hand. He ceased his methods of harassment and as a response, I didn't include his number when I decided to switch sim cards.

The last time we saw each other, our eyes spoke of nothing about our past.

I suspect that my friend's dilemma (which he explained in detail this morning) stems from a fact that the apparent straight guy enjoys his presence. He cannot let go of my friend knowing that no one would rub his ego the way he does. I don't know if such friendly engagement (with overtly romantic tone) would lead to a score but if it does, separation and distance would be their sad conclusion.

In the game of International Politics, the carrot and stick technique is applied to get one thing from a nation in exchange for a little trade-off. In man to man affairs, carrot and stick governs the dominant from the submissive. When the submissive starts resisting the dominant, the dominant reacts by giving freebies to satisfy the usurper and put him back in place.

The cycle only ends when the submissive breaks off from the domination.

Knowing well the very power wielded by the stick, I ignore one's carrot when the cycle begins to overwhelm me.

Or when somebody else freely shows off his appetizing parsnip.


<*period*>; said...

salamat po sa post...nakatulong yung post na ito for me to understand my the submissive one

Yj said...

nakakaloka talaga relating at associating powers mo kuya......

Bagong Adan said...

the moment it starts, it begins to end.


yung mga pagkakataon kasing ganun, ginagamit ka, ay yung mga panahong masarap maging tanga. kaso, mauuntog ka rin.

lahat nalang fleeting. bakit ba walang mr right. hehe. hay.

pero sana ok ka parin...

mel beckham said...

i think i don't want to play that game na baby. sabi ko nga 'di ba i no longer care na. i thought it would complicate pero ganun lang pala kasimple yun. but i think he's not done yet. i have to wait pa.

Jinjiruks said...

@off topic

gusto ko sana mag comment sa hingahan post mo pero naka disable ata.

same situation lang kasi tayo with our utol. hinahanapan ng work pero ayaw naman. hindi ka makakilos or make a move kasi hawak ka rin ng work mo at ayaw mong ma compromise iyon dahil isa iyon sa mga nagsusustain sa inyo.

and pareho tayong may throatie sumthin. hehe. buti na lang sa akin self medicate lang malapit nang gumaling.

gillboard said...

may kilala akong ganyan.. babae naman...

natatawa ako kasi kung ano sinulat mo, ganung ganun yung kwento niya sa akin.. hehehe

Jason said...

long time no hear...

dumugo ang ilong ko...

yup, it's true... sasakay ka o bibitaw?

Knox Galen said...

Jason: Mas masarap ang bumitaw. Masakit sa braso ang sumabit.

Gillboard: Isa lang ibig sabihin nun. Hindi hadlang ang sexual preference sa issue ng mga tao.

Jinjiruks: Magaling na ako, pero kaunting ingat pa rin kasi hindi ko alam baka bumalik ang bagsik ni throatie. Ang hirap magtrabaho mag-isa.

Knox Galen said...

Mel Beckham: Basta, kapag stress na siya, bitawan mo na. :)

Carl: Daydream na lang tayo kay mister right. Hehehe. Everything is fleeting, even love. Even friendships.

YJ: Bakit ka naman naloloka?

Period: Walang anuman bro.

bagong adan said...

friendships, i think, are different. they don't fade unless they're untrue.

wala akong kaibigan, halos, na kinalimutan ko.

by the way, ang tagal mo nagleave sa cyberspace sa akala ko, yun pala lumipat ka. ang tagal din kita ipinagtanong. glad i asked the right people.

Knox Galen said...

Carl: Yeah, the chances of friendship enduring a lifetime is more probable.

Pasensya na at hindi ko talaga pinagsabi ang aking bagong blog address. Alam mo naman siguro ang dahilan eh. Nagbigay lang ako ng clues at footprints kaya natunton nila ako. :)

Bagong Adan said...

^_^ a, just glad am here again, umaaligid sa dilim...