Tuesday, March 16, 2010

End | Mad Season

"Saan area mo pare?" The opening shots were fired at mid-noon.

"Dito lang sa may Lorraine Place. Pic mo?" He was a ride away from home.

"Eto akin. Punta ka na lang dito. Rm-XXX. Bring your ID and present it to the guard." He must be very horny to immediately seal the deal. For someone who looks boyish and fit and good-looking in a photo, I expected a little challenge.

"Quikie lang ito ha?" I grudgingly accepted his terms.

It's been a hell week since announcing the return of the scorpions. I thought taming them would be a breeze because I took care of the previous ones without a hitch. For some reasons, the scorpions of the present loomed beyond my ability to discern things. Friends worry of my impulsiveness. It was my prick taking over the wheel.

I did my best to hold back the build up. I used lots of deterrence to go around my pulsating urge. There was the dreaded pandemic, the previous lows after getting a moment's high, the reminder of things I stood for, and the promise to never return to the old ways of seeing lust as an affirmation of strength. But these repressions only nailed the objective. There was no use in stopping. The body wishes not to be toyed anymore.

"Hey paalis na akong bahay. I'll be there in 30 minutes." Message sent.

"Okay. Basta sabihin mo sa guard, RM-XXX. No questions asked." The confirmation was received. There was no turning back.

The hook-up is very timing. It's like someone had taken care of the rest and all I have to do is show up for the quickie. Mother requested some stuffs in Recto and the pets needed more pellets to address their growing appetite. The prospect's place, halfway between home and the destinations was a tempting stop-over. A quick fix would do.

I want my life back.

Remembering the fiery days, I spent the weekend searching for that person who could fill me. I wanted a consummated union. I needed to feel, or be attached - just for a moment. In the quest to find the most acceptable match, I trampled souls by destroying their egos. Time was wasted and the world out there is never a place I'd wish a loved one to inherit.

For I am tired of things that are fleeting.

"San ka na?" My booking was getting restless.

"Dito na sa baba. Pasensya na traffic."

Instincts tell to double-think. I'm not fond of entering enemy territory without seeing the face of the pit boss. To retreat would be difficult, especially when clear-cut instructions were already in place. Nobody might pick up my distress call - in time to make a lousy excuse and say,

"Pasensya na, I have an emergency. I need to leave now."

So I said a simple prayer to the angels of fertility so that in lust and regret, I may never be far from their wings.

"May this be the end of a cycle. Please keep the troubles away after the deed is done"

After which, I gently knock at the partner's door and disappear into his lair to be consumed and impaled by his rage.