To Show One's Teeth

The lesbian driver and the maid had a royal rumble. I tried downplaying the match believing it would fizz out like the other conflicts they had. It all started with a harmless joke. The maid said she would go to church later in the evening to which the driver replied,

"Simba ka ng simba, hindi naman nagbabago ang ugali mo."

Her comment threw the maid in a fit of rage and for the rest of the afternoon, I tried cooling heads off. I witnessed the maid tore pieces of paper from a calendar just to spite the driver. I also saw her slump on the floor and cry like a little girl. Her acts turned me off - considering she's my favorite. But after what she did much, much later, I think relationships at home will change drastically.

It all began shortly before leaving the house. I was still in a candid mood - telling both parties to refrain from fighting until I get back. Eh putangina, pasaway yung dalawa. Just when I was about to cross the street to walk towards the gym, utol sent a text message.

"Kuya nag-aaway pa rin yung dalawa. Galit na si Mama."

Still in my calm and composed self, I called my mom to check what happened. Her voice cracked with anger so I decided to return home. It was my turn to raise hell to such heights nobody has ever seen when I arrived. With my legs stretched out in the sofa, a cigarette on my fingers and a booming voice that could be heard across the compound, I began the verbal assaults by telling them about my instruction.

"Diba sabi ko walang magwalala habang nasa labas ako ng bahay!?!" The two warring parties were stunned. They knew I was really, really angry.

In between throwing expletives and minced words, I told them the single reason why violent fighting inside the house is strictly forbidden.

"Hindi niyo ba napapansin na kapag magkaaway kami ni [name of the utol] eh umaalis ako ng bahay?!? Hindi niyo ba maintindihan na kaya hindi kami nagbabalibagan eh dahil pag nagkakagulo sa bahay eh iniisip naming baka atakihin sa puso yung nasa taas?!?!"

I was referring to my mother.

I tried my best to be careful with my words. I feared that someone might pack her stuff and leave the house for good. That of course, would pose another problem. But at the back of my head, the maid and the lesbian driver must be taught a very good lesson.

That we could tolerate insolence only to a certain degree.

I told them that it is not my nature to bare my fangs. I have been known to be meek and considerate to others. I try to avoid hostile confrontations and even go to great lengths to mediate warring parties. But what people don't know is that once I get offended; once I get disappointed, and once someone fucks me up big time that I become confrontational myself, I drop people without looking back at our pinagsamahan.

Right now I am trying to overlook the whole drama and pretend that my attack was against their behavior. The Lesbian Driver was off the hook, for what triggered the second match was the maid's decision to throw the driver's clothes out of their room. As for the kasambahay, I'd keep some distance from now on to show how much she fell out of favor. That means I will have to refrain from asking her to cook my favorite meal and rely on myself for many things I usually ask her to do for me.

No more senorito Mugen from now on. Hahaha!



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It was already past midnight and the maid hasn't returned. She said she would go to the supermarket to buy some bread. Mom allowed her to leave believing it would restore order at home. She also thought getting some fresh air would knock some sense out of her. I knew the consequence of my intervention, and my display of shock and awe was justified. Should she decide not to come back, we will not resent her absence too much.

At the end of the day, professionalism must still be uphold for they are getting paid to run the household.