T Minus Five

We paid the groom's family a visit before the wedding five days from now. It was a gesture of friendship: a desire to get to know the parents in their home turf before my sister, and by extension - us - becomes part of their family. The pamamanhikan by his parents last April was a resounding success. Therefore, the feeling of awkwardness was never expected. We knew we will be welcomed and accommodated the same way my future brother-in-law has been granted unconditional access to our house.

The family lives in a compound, in a town somewhere in the backwaters of Cavite. My future brother-in-law's father who is an engineer shares the land with his three brothers and his parents. They are a patriarchal family but it was the grandmother who received us. The grandmom was visibly disappointed with how his out-of-school grandson has become. She kept saying that my future bro was good in math and she was his tutor. She cannot understand though what happened after her grandson stepped into the halls of the university.

Like me, we would never understand what student activism is all about.

Reception was very warm, and my mother - in her infinite kindness and cheery disposition - jived well with the groom's family. Even my cousin who will serve as the maid-of-honor on the wedding day was received as well. They spoke more about the family history, after which we sent subtle fillers about our financial obligations to the wedding - which they courteously ignored. Eventually, the intricacies were ironed out without much debate. My wish now is that everyone in my family shows up during the occasion.

I have always kept an ambivalent, if not subverted hostile attitude towards my sister's upcoming union. It was hastily planned to begin with. It is an event that digs deep into our already empty pockets. I kept on saying a civil wedding would suffice but my mom would always tell that a spiritual union forges stronger bond between couples. Besides she reasons that it was the groom's family who would take much of the burden.

We are but merely spectators to their well-rehearsed event.

Wedding preparations are underway. And despite my evasive maneuvers to avoid having a part in the wedding, it seems the uncertain reality has finally caught up with me.

After staring at the near-empty highway going to Tagaytay: After the biting chill and the intermittent rain have soaked my medium-sized orange shift: After the lovely invitation cards were handed over for us to distribute:

And after the groom's parents pointed at the room in the attic where my sister and her husband are supposed to live.

For all the fears I keep within.

I am bound to reign over the old household

alone and with less support.

When my sister assumes responsibility to her new family.