Monday, June 14, 2010

T Minus Five


We paid the groom's family a visit before the wedding five days from now. It was a gesture of friendship: a desire to get to know the parents in their home turf before my sister, and by extension - us - becomes part of their family. The pamamanhikan by his parents last April was a resounding success. Therefore, the feeling of awkwardness was never expected. We knew we will be welcomed and accommodated the same way my future brother-in-law has been granted unconditional access to our house.

The family lives in a compound, in a town somewhere in the backwaters of Cavite. My future brother-in-law's father who is an engineer shares the land with his three brothers and his parents. They are a patriarchal family but it was the grandmother who received us. The grandmom was visibly disappointed with how his out-of-school grandson has become. She kept saying that my future bro was good in math and she was his tutor. She cannot understand though what happened after her grandson stepped into the halls of the university.

Like me, we would never understand what student activism is all about.

Reception was very warm, and my mother - in her infinite kindness and cheery disposition - jived well with the groom's family. Even my cousin who will serve as the maid-of-honor on the wedding day was received as well. They spoke more about the family history, after which we sent subtle fillers about our financial obligations to the wedding - which they courteously ignored. Eventually, the intricacies were ironed out without much debate. My wish now is that everyone in my family shows up during the occasion.

I have always kept an ambivalent, if not subverted hostile attitude towards my sister's upcoming union. It was hastily planned to begin with. It is an event that digs deep into our already empty pockets. I kept on saying a civil wedding would suffice but my mom would always tell that a spiritual union forges stronger bond between couples. Besides she reasons that it was the groom's family who would take much of the burden.

We are but merely spectators to their well-rehearsed event.

Wedding preparations are underway. And despite my evasive maneuvers to avoid having a part in the wedding, it seems the uncertain reality has finally caught up with me.

After staring at the near-empty highway going to Tagaytay: After the biting chill and the intermittent rain have soaked my medium-sized orange shift: After the lovely invitation cards were handed over for us to distribute:

And after the groom's parents pointed at the room in the attic where my sister and her husband are supposed to live.


For all the fears I keep within.


I am bound to reign over the old household

alone and with less support.

When my sister assumes responsibility to her new family.



13 comments:

gillboard said...

congratulations to your sister in advance!

I hope she and her future family will be well and happy.

red the mod said...

There is comfort in solitude. You, of all people, must know this. To reign would seem so subversive, authoritative. To lead, I think, is apt.

Change is always is taxing, and overwhelming, for us who find it most challenging to find even the simplest of comforts. And sometimes anxiety brews from a belief that that comfort, or precarious balance, maybe be thwarted by change.

But, sometimes, change is what we need. To find ourselves, and that brilliant star that will lead us home into embracing arms.

~Carrie~ said...

I like red's comment :) and yes, best wishes to your sister on her wedding.

I still, up to now, feel life's disparity when I look back and see how my younger sibling would still depend on my earnings even if she has her own family now. But knowing that young bright minds are being nurtured, that's ok to me.

To whom much is given, much I expected. You were given a mature attitude and outlook, you've got high expectations now. And this shouldn't be negative. You've got what it takes now to lead a household. I'm sure He'll bless you with even greater things in the future.

JR said...

mag asawa ka na rin kasi fafa..tara pakasal na tayo hahaha

SOLTERO said...

best wishes on your sister's wedding...

ur out-of-school soon to be bayaw, is he also out-of-work at present? oh my...

Nimmy said...

nice! lalaki ang family niyo. more people to have fun with. hihi

Anonymous said...

congratulations to ur sister and bro-in-law!!! kaw kailan kasal/sakal mo? =) peace bro.

unknown_danger

Brent a.k.a. yourkidatheart said...

Best wishes to your sis and congrats to the groom. May all go well with you and your family during your sister's marriage after the wedding. :)

Désolé Boy said...

love watching two people exchanging vows..hehe

congrats to your sis..

good luck to u bro...

gauxves said...

congratulations to your sister!

Alterjon said...

we never had the absolute privilege to choose for those dearest to us.

at those times where happiness is what only matters, we just mostly give-in and say yes.

orallyours said...

i agree with you on practicality but then i am not one to rain on someone else's parade. best wishes to your sister. and to you too.

♥ ruby ♥ said...

I love weddings! :D

Though I understand how you feel about your sister's wedding.

I hope the best for you and your family. :)