Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Birth Pains

I went to the hospital this afternoon to visit a colleague who had a miscarriage last night. She is one of the two girls who are pregnant in my shift, whose boyfriend is also working in the morning shift. I remembered last year, these two couples were just new to the company. The girl was still quiet while the guy acts like the floor is a huge playground where he and his best friend could run and horse around when the supervisor is away.

But things happened so fast. The speculation (which I actually invented after I saw the guy following the girl heading to Megamall after work) turned out to be true. They were really in a relationship and the boy gradually toned down with his kiddie activities. The girl soon showed her dominant personality as the seats in the company multiplied. Eventually, she became known for her very spectacular temperament that even the team leaders would comment about how aggressive she had become especially when her tummy began to bulge.

For some time, her strong personality sparked some of the most controversial bulletin messages in Friendster, which became a source of fireside chat sessions between me and the "babaylan" early in the morning.

But despite her colorful and controversial life, I never heard anything against me from her, nor from her boyfriend. As far as I know, they showed me respect even when I'm caught in her little not-so-private wars. And when she became pregnant, I was one of those who encouraged her to be strong and health conscious. Unlike the other girl who is pregnant as well (which also has a legendary personality that rivals the girl in this entry), my sympathies and concerns are with hers and her devoted boyfriend.

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Early this morning, a colleague was roaming around the floor asking for donations from everyone. She told us that this girl had a miscarriage and needed our assistance. Good thing, I borrowed a hundred bucks from my mom which I haven't spent yet. Without consulting my kuripot instincts, I gave her my entire baon. After all, I could have been a ninong of their first born.

When the news of her miscarriage started to spread out. A colleague sent me an IM message on my computer asking for details. I told her that the reason for her miscarriage - according to those who recieved the news from the source is because of stress - a stress she created unknowingly for herself.

The colleague understood what I meant. After all, this girl is well known in the QA circles as the "watchdog" of the department. Her observations about other's work are so remarkable sometimes, the people in the QA wonders whether her constant "vigilance" is her stress reliever during these moody times. They all agree that perhaps this is her way of expressing what the doctors call, her "birth pains."

I asked the floor whether someone would pay her a visit after our shift ended. Nobody answered. It seems like everybody is preoccupied with their activities that not even her own circle will rush to the hospital to support her.

And that compelled me to spend the whole afternoon walking along UN Avenue just to reach the place where she is confined.

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She was sleeping alone when I arrived at the maternity ward.

I was actually expecting her family to be at her side. But since her mother was still recovering from an operation performed to her last week, the only person who was with her all the time is her boyfriend.

She woke up shortly after I have settled beside her bed. With a faint smile, she greeted me, obviously surprised by my presence. I told her to rest and recover. She asked me if I was with our other colleagues. I told her that I went to he hospital alone. She asked me then if I saw her boyfriend downstairs. I told her, I proceeded directly to her ward without asking anybody. (The girl who was going around collecting help mentioned the room and the hospital where she was staying.) Then she closed her eyes once again, perhaps remembering the things that happened in the delivery room last night.

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It turns out that she was already experiencing tummy pains at work yesterday. But she thought that it was just because of excess gas so she went through with her work without bothering anyone with her concerns. When she arrived at home later that afternoon, the tummy pain intensified. She also began to feel something hard and firm near her waist. She told it to her mom, who said not to panic until there appears blood spots over the passage area. When this happen, she must be rushed at the hospital the soonest possible time.

Nevertheless she told her boyfriend to pack his things for they will be spending the night at the hospital. The blood spots which she feared appeared shorty before his boyfried arrived at his place. They arrived at the Manila Medical Center several hours before midnight. By 2 am, the infant, which is just 5 months old came out of her, dead.

It was already dead inside her womb for two days, before her body rejected it.

The cause of the infant's fatality was very technical. To comprehend such cause, she explained to me that her womb constricted and it suffocated the child.

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Her boyfriend arrived 30 minutes after I came. He was busy processing the discharge papers so that they could leave the hospital tonight. I saw in his eyes the lack of sleep since the night before. But like he always does, he appeared cool even under sever stress. For a 22 year old man, I was so impressed at his dedication and responsibility not only as the father, but also as a boyfriend to my colleague.

The girl colleague and I talked about a lot of things about her life. We talked about her brother who used to be my amiga back when he was still working at the company. We also talked about her previous jobs such as working in Jollibee and becoming a text operator long before our company had its present clients.

One thing good about doing a surprise and solitary visits is that I get to know more about the person I am paying a visit. The last time I did such a feat is when a colleague's father died due to stroke. This operator is known for having his "own world" in the floor. He never talks nor socialize to anyone except with Mami Athena. But during the two hours we were having a conversation during his father's wake, I've learned almost everything about his and his family's tragic past.

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Shortly before six pm, her boyfriend returned and their release papers were already signed and processed. The girl and I have talked so much, that I have even learned that the medical workers in that hospital where she is confined work for 36 hours with just power naps for breaks, and without any day-offs during the week. I've also learned that we earn more compared to Jollibee Managers who toil the fastfood chain day and night And lastly I learned that some heartless parents just dump their babies elsewhere after it died prematurely in the hospital. I found this out after the head nurse asked the couple to sign a waiver that says the hospital will not be liable after the child has been released from its premises.

The boyfriend, which my girl colleague fondly calls "husband" thanked me for the last time for paying them a visit. As I walked down the hall and into the stairway, I've realized how much I have to learn from this guy which I used to see as a kid whenever we are at the floor. Today in the hospital, I saw how much he had changed - and such changes disturbed me, for I doubt whether I could endure his challenge when its my time to be tested.

I used to claim that I am ready for fatherhood. But this guy, bluntly implied to me that I would never be ready for one.

Unless I have seen and felt my own child - especially in such circumstances he had to endure.

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