Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Proposal

"Hi Galen. How do I put it.. um I really need to be with someone tonight. Puwede ka ba tonight? Pasensya if it's carnal na talaga. If it's ok lang naman with you..."

If the stars speak of the fates of men, mine would be many choices to get laid as the days march into the coming of the new month. One was a near miss some Saturdays ago. The invitation was offered, but I declined at the last minute. It was a no-frills sex, a booty call of epic proportions. I backed off for I had one thing in mind: I was saving myself for someone better, I sense would come along. Another was offered last weekend. It was me who sought his invitation for the utol was out, and the Scorpions may reappear as the night gives in to twilight. The party stayed over and slept. We chose not to cross the line. The last invitation came this evening. It was from someone I didn't expect. His choice of words uncertain: his aggression made me upset.

Guys like me are no stranger to such proposals. Sex is sex and some guys I know would never decline an invitation. But I guess he underestimated my sense of control: That I seldom strike someone I consider a friend. Once, twice, thrice it happened and the price I paid was the total disconnection of fraternal bonds. Blame it on me, whose act of copulation I see as an insurgency. The line that divides attachment and hostility is drawn, always at the rib section of the bed.

So why did this last invitation made me upset? Maybe because he caught me not in the mood for it - NO. Maybe because I was never interested even before - PERHAPS. But I guess the real reason lies behind the choice I made when it was me who invited someone to stay over at my place...

I will cut my thoughts here, for things are still too early to tell.

Besides, if and ever I want to get laid. There are many places to choose and these realms will emancipate me from the pressures of searching it closer to my world.

Unless one speaks through his emotions - which I doubt - for emotions precede any act of lust.

Had it been my ball, I will go inside a bath house and strut my stuff for everyone to see. I would choose someone who equally complements my looks and appeal. It will not be me performing the opening salvo and instead let the other's hand do the talking. I will maintain control over the situation, my heart tucked under my sleeve, my lust demanding to hit hard and strike deep.

There's only one chance to leave an impression.

If not the bath house, the chat room would do well. I will post an advertisement. Tell everyone my location. Reveal my stats, my half-naked photos (which I heard, are being used by someone there) and seal the deal with a manly, direct and assertive way of telling someone how horny I am.

"Tangina pare sobrang libog ko na, chupain mo ako pagdating ko jan ha."

"Masarap ka ba i-fuck. Halikan tayo habang tinitira kita ha?"

"6.5 etits ko, anong gagawin mo sa kanya pag nakita mo ito?"

Guys like me never beat around the bush, nor tell openly to a bed mate how lonely we are. Sex is sex and gaining some hard lessons from the last bed battle I fought, affection, attachment and even the sharing of minds never happen if and when things begin by the stroking of one's stiff cock.

A preemptive declaration of lust is always a direct act of war.


His big arms, sweet as lullabies
humming soft melodies putting me to sleep.
Wrapped around my chest, it felt being shielded
from anything that would strike us as we rest.

The one I invited over knew where to draw the line
As we both feared everything will be forgotten
when the sun rises the following day.
Our decision not to shoot missiles against each other's fort
gave us time to explore the prospects

of a permanent peace.

And reinforces my claims that the meet up was a "diplomatic" mission.

Strange how the sleepover ended. It did change my perception of how...

affection begins.


engel said...

I'm a passive person. I think the number of times I've aggressively initiated doing it could be counted by the number of fingers in a persons hands. I do send out hints though, but asking someone to do it with me... i think i'm afraid of getting turned down.

even when i know not everyone turns down an offer to have sex.

<*period*>; said...

hmmm, kuya, hindi muna ako magbibigay ng pahayag hanggat wala pang the end

Iurico said...

How do I put it.. um I really need to be with someone tonight. Puwede ka ba tonight? Pasensya if it's carnal na talaga. If it's ok lang naman with you..."

Wow! hehehe. Alam mo, modesty aside, na-tetext din ako ng mga ganito minsan. Hindi sa pagmamalinis pero parang hindi ba nakakapagod na we'll go through a cycle of hi's and hello's, small talk (carefully editing out what we'll tell and not tell him about ourselves) and eventually end up in bed. After ng climax, wala na. parang gusto mo magmadali umuwi. tapos ganitong cycle na nman with another random guy. haaaay ewan.

Oh well, I hate to be cynical pero I've a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that some of us are doomed to live life this way. At sana naman Lord hindi ako un. :-)

Nice post Galen! :-)

Galen said...

Iurico: Exactly. It's the same cycle I try to avoid because it sucks up the remaining hope in you that there's a difference between love and lust.

We are only doomed to live a promiscuous life once we stop believing that there's more to a quickie and a one night stand.

And that's the reason why I wrest control over my carnal desires.

Engel: Passive rin ako. I let someone show some motivations first before I respond. :)

Knoxxy said...

Alas LIBOG! [bow] hehe

red the mod said...

You know this, kuya. I'm a firm believer of integrity. The heart over the groin, although these days my mind subjugates my heart tenfold.

But, despite my apparent lack of luck in ardor affairs, I do not digress. I would rather have an hour of a warm, sincere hug from someone I deeply care about, than a whole night of senseless romping with whose arms I do not seek by the coming of daylight.

A romantic's life is extreme. Oft lonely and sullen. But if the right one comes along, it would be all worth it. Keep the struggle. The citadel has cracks, but fail it has not.

period said...

HINDI naman ako clingy at demanding.nagkataon na hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko kahapon.at nabanggit ko sa 2nd post bakit ayaw kong pumunta sa ospital mag-isa

xtian1978ii said...

mas vocal ka Galen kesa ako sa YM pala. Well ako nag ppm lang haha. dati grabe din ako lalo na 'yung unang taon ko sa exporation pero mas nanaig pagiging romantic ko kaya ayun bigla na lang hindi na ako naexcite sa ganung cycle

Galen said...

Xtian: Haha, I'm referring to MIRc. Sekreto natin pare. Kapag vocal ako, ibig sabihin hindi ako seryoso nun. Dalawa lang naman tanong ko lagi eh.

1. Top ba o Bottom.
2. Kisser ba.

Yun lang.

Period: Nabasa ko kung bakit. :)

Abou said...

hindi na ata mangyayari na magka proposal ako haha

ok bye

Galen said...

Red The Mod: The citadel has cracks because it has already been breached. :)

Every time I break the cycle, romance becomes an unfamiliar concept I try not to dwell on. It becomes a horrible condition where pragmatism run against the blissful thoughts of falling for someone.

Had I followed the callings of the groin, more than the considerations of the heart, trust me, I would never let anyone overwhelm my fort.

Abou: Bakit mo naman nasabi?

~Carrie~ said...

I like this post, because you're telling us the value of integrity. But I'm curious, sino ba itong niyaya mo sa iyong piling nung gabing yun? Chika lang. Binitin mo ko dun. Hehe. Pero, at least nananaig ang pag-asang may makikita kang mamahalin mo at magmamahal sa iyo sa kabila ng malibog na mundo.

Galen said...

Carrie: Sekretong malupit! Hehehe. Actually, I am still weighing in whether I would still have that integrity if it was an entirely different situation and the factors present are in my favor.

xtian1978ii said...

haha natawa ako doon ah, kase tanong ko din yan pag top hanap iba pag bottom o versa next question na haha.

mukhang hindi ka naman naghahanap pre ng serios sa ngayon dba kaya siguro hindi maiwasan may ganyang proposal sayo.

Galen said...

Xtian: Siyempre ano naman gagawin ko kung pareho kami ng role. Sabagay, multi-role function nga pala ako. Lol.

Actually nasa twilight ako ngayon. Go figure why. :)

xtian1978ii said...

haha parang may idea na ako

Mac Callister said...

believe na ako sa self control mo ha,tama yan go search for a much deeper meaning...

hayyy ur so addicting di ko n mapalampas na di dumaan sa blog mo lagi hehe

Anonymous said...

"those who satisfied my body, failed to satisfy my soul. and those who satisfied my soul, failed to satisfy my body. "

i've read that one from somewhere before. wouldn't it be nice to find someone who'd actually be able to satisfy the 2 parts? instead of just one. haha.

Galen said...

Maxwell: Sadly, I think no one can ever satisfy both. Both demands two different paths, which I could not reconcile no matter how I try to reason with myself.

Mac Callister: Nagkakataon lang. Siguro nasanay na ako sa cycle na ginagawa ko sa sarili. Hehe.