However, the scary reality that I haven't received my paycheck from my dad's last remaining business is a clear sign that sometime in the future, we might be on our own.
And the perpetual threat of some long-time creditors trying to seize whatever remains of my dad's possessions tell us that even my own homeworld might not be there... when that dreaded time arrives.
Like all others, I might become a renter as well.
Voices From The Netherworld
January 16, 2006
---
The wait started last 15th. As everyone basked in their moment of opulence, you were bracing for the worst. Your paycheck from the family's Sikyu Business is delayed again. It happens every year, on this month and on this very payday, but still you never get used to it. Maybe because you feel that as you grow older, the stakes become higher. You feel helpless and guilty that you cannot do anything while your empire crumbles before you. You wish you have your own business; your means to support yourself and the empire your late father had built. But you are a slave to someone else and you know that it would take some life-changing decisions before you take a turn and become a master yourself.
You dread the inevitable because the stakes are higher: Your aging mother will be retiring in a few years; Your sister is still a bum and depends on you to find her a means of living; and the income you are getting is not enough to keep your family afloat. Bills keep coming and when you think about the monthly requirements of your home, dread creeps the length of your spine. You value your ways of living so much that a slight deviation from it leaves you suicidal. You feel that everything will bore down on you and the thought of how unprepared you are for it makes you call the heavens for help. That's why you wait, and hope for this salvation from the Sikyu Agency to come.
Days trickle like unwanted liquid left to drip from a faucet. It splats on the sink leaving tiny millions of droplets exploding all over the place. Exploding, Yes. That's what you feel every time you check your ATM balance. Exploding, Yes. That is what your heart screams whenever you calmly talk to the call center agent of your bank.
Your mother told you to be cool, and brace for the worse. But your head is stubborn and keeps running multiple situations that you should never think yet. You tell yourself never to face a battle you are not prepared. But how can you prepare when your resources keep dwindling and will not last you until summer is over?
Time after time, you look for ways of emancipation. You are tired of being a slave to your fear of the uncertain - of becoming penniless and leaving your family to fend for themselves. You wish to have your own empire; your own army and your own emissary so when you show up at the Sikyu, they will bow down to your might and not the other way around. You always feel that your life hangs on a thread, but despite this predicament, you still have to find a way to act on it.
If only it is you all alone, you will never worry such matters.
A promise has been made last time that the paycheck will come today. It has been broken many times over and you told yourself to accept what hardships would bring Good thing you have two sources of wealth - the Sikyu and the Call Center. At least the Call Center can give provisions to at least barely survive.
But to support an entire household... May God have mercy on your soul.
So again a phone call has been made. This time, hope has already been sapped and replaced by a growing anguish. Pressing the plunger, then the digits, and then waiting for the attendant to answer, you pray.
I've been good.
Ikaw na ang bahala sa amin.
"Hello this is Ben, how may I help you?"
"My name is Mugen. My account number is..."
"I would like to verify your personal info by asking you a few details. What is your home address?"
"What is your date of birth?"
"Please tell me your mother's maiden name."
The background check seems like forever, but in this moment of helplessness, humility is your only solace.
"So what is your question again Mr. Mugen?"
"I would like to know if there is some movement in my balance today."
"If someone has deposited money on my account."
The passing seconds felt like someone has been strangling your neck. You really need to free yourself from this cycle soon.
"Yes sir. [insert the amount of money here] was added to your balance this afternoon."
"Could you repeat that again?" You asked in disbelief.
"[insert the amount of money here] was deposited in your account sir."
And the perpetual threat of some long-time creditors trying to seize whatever remains of my dad's possessions tell us that even my own homeworld might not be there... when that dreaded time arrives.
Like all others, I might become a renter as well.
Voices From The Netherworld
January 16, 2006
---
The wait started last 15th. As everyone basked in their moment of opulence, you were bracing for the worst. Your paycheck from the family's Sikyu Business is delayed again. It happens every year, on this month and on this very payday, but still you never get used to it. Maybe because you feel that as you grow older, the stakes become higher. You feel helpless and guilty that you cannot do anything while your empire crumbles before you. You wish you have your own business; your means to support yourself and the empire your late father had built. But you are a slave to someone else and you know that it would take some life-changing decisions before you take a turn and become a master yourself.
You dread the inevitable because the stakes are higher: Your aging mother will be retiring in a few years; Your sister is still a bum and depends on you to find her a means of living; and the income you are getting is not enough to keep your family afloat. Bills keep coming and when you think about the monthly requirements of your home, dread creeps the length of your spine. You value your ways of living so much that a slight deviation from it leaves you suicidal. You feel that everything will bore down on you and the thought of how unprepared you are for it makes you call the heavens for help. That's why you wait, and hope for this salvation from the Sikyu Agency to come.
Days trickle like unwanted liquid left to drip from a faucet. It splats on the sink leaving tiny millions of droplets exploding all over the place. Exploding, Yes. That's what you feel every time you check your ATM balance. Exploding, Yes. That is what your heart screams whenever you calmly talk to the call center agent of your bank.
Your mother told you to be cool, and brace for the worse. But your head is stubborn and keeps running multiple situations that you should never think yet. You tell yourself never to face a battle you are not prepared. But how can you prepare when your resources keep dwindling and will not last you until summer is over?
Time after time, you look for ways of emancipation. You are tired of being a slave to your fear of the uncertain - of becoming penniless and leaving your family to fend for themselves. You wish to have your own empire; your own army and your own emissary so when you show up at the Sikyu, they will bow down to your might and not the other way around. You always feel that your life hangs on a thread, but despite this predicament, you still have to find a way to act on it.
If only it is you all alone, you will never worry such matters.
A promise has been made last time that the paycheck will come today. It has been broken many times over and you told yourself to accept what hardships would bring Good thing you have two sources of wealth - the Sikyu and the Call Center. At least the Call Center can give provisions to at least barely survive.
But to support an entire household... May God have mercy on your soul.
So again a phone call has been made. This time, hope has already been sapped and replaced by a growing anguish. Pressing the plunger, then the digits, and then waiting for the attendant to answer, you pray.
I've been good.
Ikaw na ang bahala sa amin.
"Hello this is Ben, how may I help you?"
"My name is Mugen. My account number is..."
"I would like to verify your personal info by asking you a few details. What is your home address?"
"What is your date of birth?"
"Please tell me your mother's maiden name."
The background check seems like forever, but in this moment of helplessness, humility is your only solace.
"So what is your question again Mr. Mugen?"
"I would like to know if there is some movement in my balance today."
"If someone has deposited money on my account."
The passing seconds felt like someone has been strangling your neck. You really need to free yourself from this cycle soon.
"Yes sir. [insert the amount of money here] was added to your balance this afternoon."
"Could you repeat that again?" You asked in disbelief.
"[insert the amount of money here] was deposited in your account sir."
Feverish and on the verge of fainting. You heaved a sigh of relief. You know, it's not only you you're thinking. More than anything else, the absence of money is a sign that your Sikyu is in trouble.
"Thank you very much."
"Is that all sir."
"Yes, that's all. Thank you again and goodbye."
---
February is just around the corner. The alarming ordeal is over for now but the next one is just days away
And so, the cycle of fear stars again.
"Thank you very much."
"Is that all sir."
"Yes, that's all. Thank you again and goodbye."
---
February is just around the corner. The alarming ordeal is over for now but the next one is just days away
And so, the cycle of fear stars again.
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