Assistant Team Leader

There was a time in recent memory when resignation at work most appealed to me. It was those downtrodden days. I was accused of committing a grave danger to the company because of a decision I made on my own. As a consequence, everyone seemed critical of my movements, even the newly appointed assistant team leader had turned against me.

Her cold, unreceptive response to my inquiries made me feel unwelcome. At times I felt bullied. Every wrong turn I made ticked her off, and it always lead to verbal assaults which I took with a heavy heart. At one time, I just broke down during a one-on-one meeting. Told her, I was demoralized, pushed over and the error I made seemed so breathtaking when other agents commit the same error I did. In that confrontation, I threatened her of my decision to leave, which, immediately put a break on the barrages I received from her that afternoon. After the lull, I have grown distant. I kept my resentments to myself even if there was a growing call to unseat her. The reason lies in her performance. Though she used to be the bitch I have grown to hate, her draconian methods not only impressed the bosses, it impressed me as well.

With good graces, my surrogate mother reminded me that the assistant team leader was pregnant; that perhaps I was the object of her focus that is why I was her favorite target. Understanding my new superior's situation, I absorbed her irritation like a tough guy would. Heated words were never exchanged between us but the coldness lingered, until I requested a transfer to another shift.

Months passed and the new work schedule appealed to me. Who wouldn't? I was far away from the ire of the dominatrix - not to mention I was also able to go home at sundown. But come early summer, this surrogate mother of mine told me of a news that didn't put a smile on my face.

I was asked to return to my old shift for an assignment deem appropriate of my time and experience with the job.

So the training began in earnest. It was my desire to keep everything under wraps but the swift transformation was picked up by nosy colleagues who were already speculating the changes. Weeks come and go and the more I was exposed to the limelight, the gravity of the responsibilities began to strangle me.

"This is a duty" I always tell myself.

"This is not a permanent placement." Assuredly, I nudge the reality.

And as the girth of her tummy expanded, my responsibilities went beyond the four walls of our workplace. Sometimes I found myself carrying her things on her way to the floor and at times, I just slide my butt in the front seat of her car so I could accompany her halfway while she drives all the way to Fairview.

A few weeks ago, a heavy downpour was felt across the city. Choosing not to bring her car, I found it was deem important to escort her until she reached Edsa where she rides a bus going home. Amidst the chilling weather and a soaked-up polo shirt, I felt more like a sole battleship protecting a convoy of refugee vessels. It doesn't matter if I receive the blows so long as those who needed my armor remain unscathed.

"Ms Rosie, hawak sa kamay ko, madulas ang daan." You could see in her eyes the anxiety as we trudged the flooded streets.

In return for all those joyrides, I've learned a lot of things only few people in our shift probably knows. As impression revealed, she was this school girl chick who used to transit from home to school. The word leisure never shows up in her vocabulary. She had many repressions, and she confided it to me while passing through the stretch of East Avenue. Behind her stiff, formal approach towards her subordinates is a free-spirit lady who simply wanted to feel the world: She would do long trips to cope up with stress; she had secret crushes with guys who looks more like a drugged rock star than a boy-next-door professional.

These things, she will never tell and I am so glad I've learned them all now that the reigns of power will be passed temporarily away from her.

---

The ascendancy was announced during our outing in Antipolo and everyone was informed of the new order at the floor.

She will never know the sacrifices I made nor the uncertainties I keep within. The assistant team leader will never find out how physically draining it was to take a long cut going home nor the troubles figuring out how will I be able to match up her meticulousness when it comes to work.

But for whatever its worth; as someone who will never be given the gift she will be receiving a few days from now. It is my sincerest wish that her daughter will be as beautiful and cunning like her. She could focus her attention to her offspring in the meantime, while I figure out how I would fare on the other battlefront she have already conquered at a time when I busied myself chasing butterflies.

Beginning tomorrow.

I take her place as the new assistant team leader.