Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Scorpion Week - Change Style

I

I went to an internet cafe at sundown to chat in MIRc. My mom asked me to accompany her to a dinner so I had to wait until she arrives since I showed up way earlier than our set appointment. There was no immediate desire to set a hook-up for I don't keep reserves. Only when I am feeling the urge that I seek a prey and go hunting.

So what I did in the chatroom was to perform an experiment on how my new Picturetrail profile fared well against those sent to me by other chatters. The results were good. Finally, I am beginning to regain some new grounds I seceded after the "Drill" guy rejected me on our first encounter.

One of the guys who saw my profile claimed to have a seven-inch dick. That's what his chat handle said, as well as his Manjam account revealed. After sending him my face-picture, I thought I was a goner - doomed to move on and find another guy to trade pictures. Instead of getting the you're-not-my-type kind of reply, he accommodated my inquiries and began talking about himself.

As it turned out, the guy was looking for a job the whole summer. He was asked to wait for a call after several interviews and was on the verge of quitting his application to return to his hometown in Davao. Sympathizing with him, I told my new chatmate that rejection is part of the experience. I even shared my job hunting experience where three call centers denied my application in just one day.

The conversation went on until he convinced me to help him improve his chances of getting a job. There I was in my station, with my #salsalan MIRc window open, while my attention was on the resume he sent to my email. I copy-pasted every detail to my template so his resume would look more impressive than the one he gave me. That's what I did for one hour while all the advertisements for hook-ups, textmates, and other forms and invitations for a lusty encounter went by without me getting able to read everything.

"Ayan dude, sent ko na ulit sa iyo yung resume mo." For someone who wasn't able to finish his college degree, the resume that bears his name exceeds all expectations. It's layout and presentation (and the cover letter I wrote to one of the companies that posted a job ad in Pinoyexchange) will make any HR officer review his application for a reconsideration.

In return, I met my mother in Timog this evening having a new textmate to keep me distracted.


II


A chatter was looking for an SOP (Sex on the Phone) buddy the other night. Fearing that my solitary confinement might tempt me to invite someone who lives near my place, I grabbed his offer and did the act on the phone. Too synthetic isn't it? Our digital encounter didn't end there however, for we were able to talk about a lot of things after our shared orgasm.

He is 22 years old, lives in Binondo, an investment banker who gets to fly every month to Taipei for business trips, a chain smoker, a coffee addict and a Green Archer in his former life.

He was also a cadet officer back in high school.

For someone who is familiar with the rule, the details he shared should never be brought up, especially when your SOP buddy hails from cyberspace. I don't know if it was because of the photo-sharing we did before the act, but long after the phone lines has been cut, we still send text messages to one another before we get to sleep.

After two nights of constant contact, we had a round two a few hours ago.

III


Finally there's this guy who posted an advertisement in the main chatroom looking for someone who is open to serious relationships. I would have told him to buzz off for he was in a sex channel but instead of showing a rude behavior, I engaged him in a friendly chat. The guy was nice but you can sense his discrimination to those he found inferior to his standards. Feeling that humiliation is imminent if I sounded unsure about myself, I gave him details about me that might spark his interest.

"5,9, moreno, straight-acting, blah... blah... blah..." After several days of exposure in the chat scene, I already know the descriptions that make another guy so into you. In his situation I also echoed what he really wanted to hear from his chatmate.

"Open to serious relationships. Dude."

Immediately, he asked for us to continue our conversation in Yahoo Messanger. I do not know the reasons behind his sudden retreat from #salsalan, but it makes sense that he is worried that someone else might steal my attention. You know boys, stir their imagination for something more spectacular and they will instantly get drawn to you. There in Yahoo, we were able to get know each other better. Among the three guys I got acquainted since the Scorpion Week began, he is the one who truly caught my attention.

Fearing that we might get too close and too attached without seeing each other's looks. I showed him my face-pic so he would drop his expectations.

"Ayos ba tol?" I nervously asked him.

"Cool. Laki ng katawan ah!" Apparently, I am within his taste.

He sent his picture but I what I recieved was a blurry photo of him. Judging by the way he looks, my attraction is not really physical but more of the chemistry and values we might be sharing together.

I did hear his voice (which was very manly) on the phone, exchanged mobile numbers and learned more similarities which I would love for him to expound if we get to talk again. He needs to wake up early so we had to call it a night.

IV


It is not my nature to entertain many prospects at any one time. Adhering to my monogamous principles, I let go of someone first before I move on and try again. Yet, in this cycle of never-ending search, (which in the end, brings me to doubt whether I will finally meet the "one") I feel that my methods push me farther away from my core .

Thus, I begin to suspect that the guys I had affairs in the past kept spare tires and inflated egos to keep in check their growing attachment. I, on the other hand steps my best foot forward while appearing desparate to win a person for I had nothing to run to in case things don't work.

This time, I change my style.

Emboldened by a new frame of mind (and blind illusions of eminent attraction) I will sway someone over to my side by appearing better than I could always be.

After all.

I have an imposing body to flaunt
A pair of strikingly small eyes to mesmerize
and a creative mind to boot.

Woe to them who will never see me. Their lost is not mine to begin with.

11 comments:

gillboard said...

yep, live the life of a single guy... nothin' wrong with it...

Jason said...

bakit ba ako naiinggit hahaha

bampiraako said...

creative mind to boot....

nice..nice..

DN / DeathNote said...

kakainggit nga!!! oozing w/ confidence! penge naman ng latak ng confidence. :P

Herbs D. said...

being single is just so fun :)

red the mod said...

I sense a changing of the winds. His subtle advances hint of a renewed confidence, and a selfish abandon youth once afforded. The calls of the flesh is enticing to say the least, but the methods of the heart to safeguard its integrity far outweigh such mere meanderings of lust.

Do not entangle where one's arms cannot reach. Do not hold down what you cannot affix. The voice is weak, but the melody foreboding.

Time to change. Progress. Evolve.

Jake said...

PANALO!!!

Ang tawag ko dyan, being true to oneself.

If you have it, flaunt it. Lalo pa't binata ka (at binata din hanap mo hehehe).

This post is a good storyline for the gay version of "50 First Dates". Being single gives you all the reason to practice collect & select.

Pero, PANALO TALAGA!!!

Knox Galen said...

Jake: If I further de-arm myself, dalawa lang mangyayari. Lahat ng trip ko na magseryoso sa akin eh seseryosohin ko rin without looking at their background. Medyo delikado yun lalo na kung fly-by-night pala yung bago kong romantic interest.

Number two, never pa ako nakipag date sa kapwa ko lalaki so it would be an entirely new gameplan if I engage myself in one. Usually, relationship or mutual understanding precedes such activity.

Number three, singlehood is a state I never truly felt for almost eight years na. Mabilis akong pumasok sa bagong relasyon. Ehehehe.

Knox Galen said...

Red The Mod: Like I confided to you over our chat conversation earlier, behind the facade is an uncertain position, which, in all honestly I would be willing to abandon if it would give me a little reprieve from the battles I am waging against myself.

What I only seek is a little, but constant connection to my sensuality. I'm not yet all out towards the wasteful and reckless surrendering of the flesh.

Thanks for seeing me.

Knox Galen said...

Herbs: To air another blogger's sentiment he posted in twitter a few months back,

"It's sad to be free."

DN: Hingi ka ng payo kay Pinuno. Siya rin ang nagbigay ng insight tungkol sa kung ano ang problema sa akin.

Bampira: Creative people turns you on. Me too. Welcome to my blog.

Knox Galen said...

Jason: Sino kaya ang meron constant fubu sa ating dalawa? Hehehe.

Gillboard: Kailangan ko pa masanay sa buhay malaya. Apparently, hindi ako handang panghawakan ang sarili kong buhay mag-isa.