Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Drill

Kina career ko yung junjun dito na naka-green. Lol.

Panalo Pare! Take home ang labanan

- Text Message: Gym Buddy, Two Nights Ago.

At minsan naman, may Oh Yeah Moments kami. Masarap. Nakaka-adik.

- Mandaya Moore: Pugot

tropa-chatmate says:
sabi ko.. kalahating oras na lang ang nalalabi... puro ganito na lang tayo..
tropa-chatmate says:
biglang nag jakol...
tropa-chatmate says:
chupain ko daw siya..
tropa-chatmate says:
tapos.. suck ko daw nipples...
tropa-chatmate says:
ginanahan bigla..
tropa-chatmate says:
then... nung mapalit na siya.. suck nipples ko..

- A YM Conversation


By now you know how the exercise works.

First is you have to realize the urge: An event must weaken the cobblestone barrier holding back your pent up feelings of repression; the boundless lust, which you have pushed back beyond the reach of your senses should by now trampling over your consciousness; and the need to feel, someone deconstructing your being from inside out would have lead you to openly convey your carnal desires. The urges come once in a blue moon and when the ripe time arrives, the pruning begins by logging on to your favorite channel in MIRc to park your name amongst the faceless animals searching for one clear method of releasing their natural callings.

"Saan ka parekoy?"

"Asl, Stats"

"Pic please"

You, being a first-born chatter would cling to your old ways. Back then, it was honorable to negotiate the terms without revealing the contours of your face or the steely articulation of your gaze. Your associates would understand your inhibitions for they would do the same. But now, the new order rules out any deal without the "trade-off." No matter how you attempt to draw circles to sway a bargain on your behalf, market forces would push you at the edge of competition.

"Sorry bro no pic here"


"Describe yourself na lang?"

"Muscular, chinito, manly"

"If you want, let's meet and if you don't find me appealing, let's call off the eyeball."

"Ayt. Here's my number"

In most cases it works, but when the method backfires, you are left licking the sore wounds of rejection. How many times do I tell you it happens - even to the most gifted of your peers? No. You insists that its better not to enter a battle than to lose it without putting up a fight.

In this scene however, the chances of victory seems high.

And therefore you set yourself on a journey - a pilgrimage towards the enemy territory.

Without having an identity to back you up, the expedition ends in a one-way confrontation. It happened many times before and the scars they left makes you very wary of these arrangements. The past defeats has made you numb enough to pick up the pieces and move on. This is the reason why you prefer the comforts of the dance floor. There, you get the prey as swift as you spot them. Without the expectations raised by an unseen first encounters, the prospects of intimate endings are more plausible on a face to face negotiations.

"I saw you na. Ayoko."

"Ok. Thanks."

"You can suck me, but you have to pay."

"Not in a million years pare."

Just like the other battles you fought, you go home empty handed. The rejection might have scraped off your confidence, but at the back of your head, you are relieved to learn where your place is. The retreat sums up all the claims your friend is spreading around these days,

"Titi lang yan." The more you loses, the more you embrace what his growing philosophy is all about.

A few minutes after the outcome has been delivered, you absorb whatever pain the person has inflicted. You return to the internet cafe ready to seek a new prey.

"Anyone here in mandaluyong. T_P here with place. Mack me with ur pic."

Sometimes it makes you wonder why take such painful cycles when you know where your strength lies. Back there in the open, it was them who negotiates the deal with you. An exchange of glances; a reserved smile conveying thoughts of attraction; a discreet brushing off the fingers and you know who the prey is. Is it because of your thirst for victory? Is it because of your overwhelming need to prove everyone wrong:

That you can take down a better-looking boy despite what the "equality of looks" principle decrees?

Following the same, obsolete method once again, you hope that someone would see things your way; that what keeps an eye ball interesting is the mystery behind the person you would share a moment of wild abandon.

"Dito ako sa mandaluyong bro." You sent your private message to someone you secretly wish to get back with.

"Saan, here's my pic. Gabi na. Nagmamadali na ako eh." The much anticipated encounter earlier had made him a little desperate with his hunting.

"Thanks! Ako kaya yung ni-reject mo kanina!"

"Ha ikaw ba?"

"Oo kaya! Sigurado bang ako ang nakita mo?"

"Ikaw yung naka-shorts at naka t-shirt right"

"Ah, iba yung nakita mo. Hindi ako yun."

"Gusto mo pa ba? Dali bro, libog na libog na ako." Seeing his brusque face, toned body and striking masculine appeal, you know he's worth the challenge.

"Tangina, paano kapag ni-reject mo ulit ako?"

"Bahala na. Ano tuloy ka pa ba? Gabi na masyado."

Bowing to your own needs - the months-long repression you have imposed upon yourself, already outweighs your decisions. And so you attempt a comeback. Win or lose, the evasion itself is a victory to be proud of.

Fifteen minutes later.

"Putangina mo pare, ang init mo!"

"Kanina pa ako libog eh, ayos ba?"

"Ayos na ayos, parang ayaw ko na hugutin to." Panting, he would ram his thick prick again and again and again.

Mercy fuck or not, the drill would hurl you beyond the urges of the flesh and far enough to achieve emancipation from recent attachments.


Jason said...

kakalibog $#%@&^%^@

DN / DeathNote said...

Haha. Oh well. It is a sick sad world.

r3dguy said...

..hehe di na ako maka relate, mag two years na ako na celibate teh...

MkSurf8 said...

naalala ko tuloy dun kasagsagan ng kalibugan ko some years back. pag di ko type, nang wa one-way ako. (is this term still being used now, btw). may isa akong winan way, nag backfire sa akin. tapos may niligawan akong friend pala nya. nung nalaman ng friend nya, lumayo sa akin. tapos ako naman yung habol ng habol.

na trauma ako.