Saturday, August 15, 2009

Butterfly Effect

The club night pushed through without a hitch.

And unlike the other weekends where my schedule is already fixed, last night's Friday gimmick changed the course of things.

I leave the office already set where to go. By the time my shift is over, the Encantos have already sent a text message telling the place of our weekly drinking spree. Coming late from work, I would catch some of them already tipsy when I arrive at the bar. Stories would be passed over, like the Pulutan doing its rounds on the table. New faces would show up (only to disappear a few months later) and there is this unspoken bond to continue the tradition no matter how things would change.

At past 1:30, the Encantos are already showing signs of damage. Rarely do we pass out from an inuman but by the time the waiter shows up to ask for our last order, Centurion (or sometimes Rain Darwin) would be asking the bill. As the night wore on, my drinking buddies are already deep in slumber, while I, passes on like a crepuscular animal until the first rays of sunlight hit Malate.


Last night was different.

Taking advantage of the Encantos' lack of invitation, I decided to meet someone from PinoyG4M instead. I chose to meet this guy believing he was different from the others seeking my audience. I thought he could carry a conversation and could last a night engaging me in different subjects. I even dropped the 911 rule assured that our encounter would not end in bed.

The meet-up was a disappointment.

He showed up across O-Bar 15 minutes after I arrived in Malate. Since I decided to drop the looks game, (where I would compare my looks against those I meet) it didn't matter if he was a little plumpy, a little effeminate, and far far shorter than I expected. Had he been a little chubbier, he could easily pass out as an excellent Bernardo Bernardo clone.

I was looking forward to a night of drinking and stories (even if the scene would be a remake of the Serendra Boy encounter last month) All along, I thought we would sit on a chair, order some ice-cold beer and break those silly awkward moments which happen when meeting a stranger. The bitch had other plans. He wanted us to walk around Malate instead. I knew his interest was waning from the way he excused himself for another meeting. Bernardo Bernardo told me fifteen minutes after he arrived that he had to rush to this despedida of a colleague who would be assigned in Visayas. I was not born yesterday to know it was a ruse for he never spoke about it while on his way to our meeting place. Looking back, I should have exercised a little meanness last night. Centurion was still up and was recieving the details of my meet up. I could have inserted a clause in one of our conversations about sending an SOS in case I find the guy I would be meeting inferior to my taste.

But no, it was the other way around.

Either Bernardo Bernardo was expecting a twink, or his taste goes way beyond what his mediocre looks could afford.

We parted ways without learning each other's name. I don't know who between me and Bernard Bernardo wasted more time just to see the other, but on my part, his presence was a mere prelude for the things to happen that night.

His exit was my entry to the party scene which was just starting the moment he left.


The heart of the dance club is like a trading floor where market values pummel or surge depending on the shareholders' pretensions and inhibitions. The phoney meet-up left us searching for ways to boost our confidence. Had we known that it was a mutual repulsion, we should have let known how disinterested we were. The club scene was another story. If in the past weeks we maintained some discretion in engaging our prey, last night, we played the mischievous kid on the dance floor: we flirted with a guy who already found a dance partner (shit ang sarap manulot!); a moreno dad in his early thirties made suggestions for a sleep-over in my place (but we declined out of respect for whatever dignity we left); the crush (which I pointed out to WanderingCommuter and MkSurf8 the time they were there) held our hand again only to put it inside his pants (which we liked, really, but we were also appalled by his uber-slutty approach) and lastly, we made out - in full view of other clubbers - with this lean, semikal constru-looking guy who brought his sister inside a gay club. In the end we had to give him away (literally) to another pair-less guy because the partner was dead drunk and it was time to go home and we know.

I know.

Another clubbing adventure awaits next week.


Engkantong Buraot said...

haaaaaay, kelan ko kaya mapapasok ang mundo mo.



Atom said...

whew, EB's can sometimes be catastrophic. but in all cases we should drop our expectations to the lowest tolerable level so as we will not be disappointed in the end.

after a space is left open, all that is left to do is fill it up,

period said...

now i know...brian kinney is not just a fictitious chracter in queer as folk...

but the difference?

this brian kinney has a heart..

the closet gentleman said...

an eyeball is always hit or miss... but at least you're not afraid to take the risk...

one day it'll pay off...

Knox Galen said...

The Closet Gentleman: The thing is, it was supposed to be a friendly meet-up. I didn't arm myself expecting that the meet up would do the same. Unfortunately he had different motives.

Period: Hindi ko nasundan yung Queer As Folk eh, pero never kong nakita ang sarili ko kay Bryan Kinney.

Knox Galen said...

Atom: It depends on what the motives of the eyeball is. I had many meet-ups before and most of them ended well.

Siguro nga, difference ngayon is that I'm single and that a lot of expectations are imposed in an eyeball.

Rain: Nakikita ko na malapit-lapit na.

john stanley said...

before meeting up with somebody for the first time, i always insist on exchanging photos. that way, we can both decide if we will pursue with it or look for other prospects.

but i did bend this rule twice...

Dagger Deeds said...

Bernardo Bernardo? Yung komedyante yun di ba?

dencios said...

aba teka naman. di ata na shoot ang ano ko komento ko sa bahay mo.. hmm..

sabi ko men hamo na yun at madami dyan na siguradong mas ka wavelenght mo ohyeh.

Knox Galen said...

Dencios: Sabi ko nga, hindi ko kawalan ang pag-alis niya. Marami pang mas-interesanteng tao ang maaring makilala sa dance floor.

Dagger: Yup, Siya nga.

John Stanley: I know this other person who was able to bend your picture-first rule. I think it was a good move for remains your friend right now.

dencios said...

sorry naman. ang kulet ko ba? hehe basta ako sa nalalapit kong bakasyon, si --- na lang i mi-meet ko, safe pa. haha

xtian1978ii said...

Malate is one place that I really don't want to be in. If not for a friend who just arrived from the overseas, I will never set my foot on that place. It's not that I don't like the place, it's just the temptation there is too much for me. I can't handle it.

Knox Galen said...

Xtian: He was the one who set the meeting in Malate, not me. It turned out, it was more convenient for me to pursue my other plans for the night.

Dencio: Lemme guess, si Mel Beckham imemeet mo no?

Eternal Wanderer... said...

ang tawag dyan, e na-magandahan ka.

ang linya mo dapaty sa kanya:

"tseh! chura mo!"


xtian1978ii said...

sabagay. siguro doon na set if ever things don't happen the way you want it to be there are other options.

Knox Galen said...

Xtian: To be honest, this kind of life is a little tiring.

EWanderer: Taasan lang ng kilay puwede na.

Prince_Cloud said...

reminds me na last december hindi tayo nakapag clubbing!!! hehe

maybe this year matutuloy na, madrama kasi buhay ko noon eh. isama na tin sila Dabo at agripina, hehe.

Knox Galen said...

Mik: Maniwala ka man o sa hindi, nagkasabay-sabay kami mag clubbing nilang dalawa. Ako yung surprise entrance, silang dalawa yung may pinag-usapan.

In the end, I simply wanted my own company. Nag-iba na yata personality ko talaga sa loob ng club.

Yeah, pero pagbalik mo dito, isasama kita. I promise you, I'd be the Joms you have always cherished when you were here.

charmedwishes said...

how melancholy, sigh. i feel your pain, we are probably in the same boat. i am also like you, sad because the "right guy" still hasn't come.

wanderingcommuter said...

sabi nga ng isang kaibigan natin, step forward, move on and drop him off.

masyadong malaki ang mundo para paikutin sa iisang tao o experience lang...

xtian1978ii said...


I may not know what you're going through as of this late but I had my share. After a year that I was exposed to this side of reality, I met my partner. Things changed rapidly mostly for the better, or so I hope.

If you're tired, it's ok to take a break. cherish muna what you have. if they've been through after all these years then you know they care.

try new stuff, something different from what you are used to. who knows you'll find what you've been missing.

lahat naman napapagod pre. may kanya kanyang issues. maaring madali para sa iba pero kay hirap para sa atin. try to think more positive, in time you'll bounce back even better.

more *hugs*

Knox Galen said...

Xtian: Just catching a little sneeze. The fact that I deleted my Manjam account means I'm already okay.

Salamat dude.

Ewik: Words are easier said than done. The least thing I could do is avoid getting hurt and hurting others because of me.

CharmedWishes: All pain goes away. I just have to let it off my chest. :) Thanks dude.