"Ikakasal na dapat siya noon. Handa na ang invitation, ang simbahan, ang reception ang lahat. Bigla siyang kumabig. Natakot yata. Kinansel bigla ang kasal."
- Centurion
---
Those of us belonging to the first internet generation of PLUs would often joke around that there is no such thing as bisexuals. Everyone labels themselves as one to make them appear more masculine than the ones who brand themselves gays in the chat room. The label became so overused that the real masculine ones stopped calling themselves "bi" and instead, began inventing new labels like straight-tripper and discreet to separate themselves from the "bi's," who are now made up of effeminates-in-denial, or twinks who do not understand the unspoken hierarchy in every gay hook-up sites around.
We would scoff at the idea of someone admitting himself to being bisexual and keeps a girlfriend, when he's an expert in giving a blow jobs or takes the catcher role in bed. The real swingers would never speak of their code switching and instead would leave a cryptic answer such as "trip-trip lang" when you ask what their intentions are in conversations.
If not for Darwin's past life, the concept of someone swinging both ways and enjoying it will never enter my consciousness. He is a living, breathing example that not everyone lives with a Black and White view of things. The shaded areas where he belongs will always be a subject of much debate, but the exposure to it will leave a sense of wonder and insight to anyone brave enough to take a peek.
"Nung seven years old ako..." Darwin began while guzzling his Nth bottle of San Miguel Light, "Sa amin nakatira yung uncle ko." He paused to puff a stick of Marlboro before resuming his story. "Yung mama ko laging gusto eh pinapatabi sa kwarto si Uncle. Tutal pareho naman daw kaming lalaki." In those days, I remember parents preferring to leave their sons to a male relative's care rather than keep them with a female kin. They fear that prolonged exposure to women at a very young age might leave the male child absorbing their feminine ways. If Darwin was entrusted to a male relative, my parents surrounded me with female helpers out of fear that a male household member might do something unpleasant to my little sister. However, in Darwin's situation, the idea backfired. Having a male teenager as a roommate whose raging hormones forced him to seek an outlet made Darwin a vulnerable target.
"Gabi-gabi may nangyayari sa amin ng uncle ko."
I turned to Pinuno and saw him froze in his seat. The gravity of Darwin's story was too heavy that it left us gasping for air. "Noong una umiiyak pa ako pag pinapagawa niya sa akin yun... pero nung tumagal na enjoy ko na." Pinuno asked Darwin if he tried to tell his mom what was happening during those nights. Darwin answered in a plain tone that it was no use. The accusations might just be used against him.
The clandestine activities only stopped when his uncle left his place. Darwin, for all the trauma he took as a child, was able to live a normal life. He had girlfriends, achieved good grades in school, and got a girl pregnant in his early twenties. At twenty seven, he was ready to settle down with his long-time fiancée. The arrangements for his grand wedding were already in place and invitations were sent to friends and family members expecting a big feast. As the wedding day approached, an unexpected revelation ruined everything. Darwin never intended to hide his past from his fiancée. However, when he confessed having a kid with another woman long before they met and that kid will visit the country months after their wedding, the bride-to-be had a fit of rage.
With a sway of one hand, the wedding was called off. Relatives, who were ready to head to Manila suddenly received the biggest disappointment of their lives. The hundreds of thousands of pesos spent on the arrangements went for nothing. Darwin never even got a refund. When the dust had settled and the girl had been knocked back to her senses, it was Darwin who lost interest in the wedding. They split up afterwards.
Our friend would describe the months after the failed union as his age of hedonistic rampage. He would go to places around the country, sample their delights and splurge his money like there's no tomorrow. He was a runaway train bent on a head-on collision with the grand central station, and only his mother's timely intervention stopped him from his tracks.
His mother suggested that he should invest his remaining money in business. After all, he is getting old and needed to focus on urgent things in life - like finding means to support himself aside from getting an eight-hour job. Weary and with nowhere else to go, he followed her advice and opened a travel agency somewhere in Taft. It was the first among his several business ventures that belong to the empire he rules today.
We knew, from his earliest presence in G4M that he has a knack for being an exhibitionist in cyberspace. With his dark, smooth features and rock-hard abs, his nakedness was a sight to behold. Sometimes, he would show up in the thread just to announce having a show in the chat room. The headless guys who flocked the thread would suddenly disappear and we would later find out that everyone left to see Darwin whack his ding-dong-ding on cam.
His penchant for doing nude shows lead him from the heterosexual crowd towards the gay flock. "Mahilig kasi ako dating mag-show sa YM. Eh nung minsan, napunta ako sa Men's Locker Room. Hindi ko kasi alam na ganun pala ang mga tao dun, akala ko may mga babae." His mistake was admissible. Inside the mind of a very horny straight boy, a very horny girl would go to chat rooms swarmed by perv men. What Darwin did not anticipate is that the room was flocked not by girls but gay and bi guys.
"Hayun nga, nagshoshow ako sa chatroom pero ang pinagtataka ko, bakit puro lalaki ang nagvie-view sa akin," he chuckles. "Yun pala nung nagtanong na ako kung may babae dun, lahat sila nagtawanan kasi puro bading daw yung nandon. Umalis na ako."
However, there's this one chatter persistent enough to hound him wherever room he went. The chatter was Darwin's biggest admirer and no matter how he tried to push the chatter away, the chatter would simply come back trying to win the trust and confidence of our friend.
"Paano ko naman hindi lalayuan, sobrang bata nung humahabol tapos lalaki pa." He paused again to have a gulp of his third beer bottle after he began telling his story. "Kaso nung nagpakita ng picture, gwapo pala, tapos maputi. Hindi mukhang bading kaya na-curious ako." From that point onward, I knew something in his childhood triggered his curiosity. "Okay na sana maging tropa lang kami kaso mo nalaman niya na graduate rin ako ng Ateneo High School at naghahanap siya ng tutor para sa UPCAT."
He is aware that the stakes were high but the gains were too much to ignore. Darwin said that the kid was a product of a broken family. The kid's dad stayed in the United States while his mom lived in Germany. Both of them have their own families and it was his matron aunt who served as his guardian and caretaker. Despite having no parents, the family lived an opulent life. The kid was supported by both his parents while the aunt spent most of her time with the amigas than his senior high school nephew.
It was clear that the kid was looking not only for a male role model but a big brother who could take care of him. Darwin fitted all the credentials and the task assigned to him was very simple.
"Sabi sa akin nung aunt, i-tutor ko daw yung bata two hours every day. Four hundred ang bayad kada oras. Sa isang buwan magkano rin yun diba?" He was directing his question to Pinuno. Being an educator himself, the leader nodded at Darwin.
"So pumayag ako maging tutor nung bata."
"At nung bandang huli, nagsimulang may mangyari sa amin."
---
-tobecontinued-
- Centurion
---
Those of us belonging to the first internet generation of PLUs would often joke around that there is no such thing as bisexuals. Everyone labels themselves as one to make them appear more masculine than the ones who brand themselves gays in the chat room. The label became so overused that the real masculine ones stopped calling themselves "bi" and instead, began inventing new labels like straight-tripper and discreet to separate themselves from the "bi's," who are now made up of effeminates-in-denial, or twinks who do not understand the unspoken hierarchy in every gay hook-up sites around.
We would scoff at the idea of someone admitting himself to being bisexual and keeps a girlfriend, when he's an expert in giving a blow jobs or takes the catcher role in bed. The real swingers would never speak of their code switching and instead would leave a cryptic answer such as "trip-trip lang" when you ask what their intentions are in conversations.
If not for Darwin's past life, the concept of someone swinging both ways and enjoying it will never enter my consciousness. He is a living, breathing example that not everyone lives with a Black and White view of things. The shaded areas where he belongs will always be a subject of much debate, but the exposure to it will leave a sense of wonder and insight to anyone brave enough to take a peek.
"Nung seven years old ako..." Darwin began while guzzling his Nth bottle of San Miguel Light, "Sa amin nakatira yung uncle ko." He paused to puff a stick of Marlboro before resuming his story. "Yung mama ko laging gusto eh pinapatabi sa kwarto si Uncle. Tutal pareho naman daw kaming lalaki." In those days, I remember parents preferring to leave their sons to a male relative's care rather than keep them with a female kin. They fear that prolonged exposure to women at a very young age might leave the male child absorbing their feminine ways. If Darwin was entrusted to a male relative, my parents surrounded me with female helpers out of fear that a male household member might do something unpleasant to my little sister. However, in Darwin's situation, the idea backfired. Having a male teenager as a roommate whose raging hormones forced him to seek an outlet made Darwin a vulnerable target.
"Gabi-gabi may nangyayari sa amin ng uncle ko."
I turned to Pinuno and saw him froze in his seat. The gravity of Darwin's story was too heavy that it left us gasping for air. "Noong una umiiyak pa ako pag pinapagawa niya sa akin yun... pero nung tumagal na enjoy ko na." Pinuno asked Darwin if he tried to tell his mom what was happening during those nights. Darwin answered in a plain tone that it was no use. The accusations might just be used against him.
The clandestine activities only stopped when his uncle left his place. Darwin, for all the trauma he took as a child, was able to live a normal life. He had girlfriends, achieved good grades in school, and got a girl pregnant in his early twenties. At twenty seven, he was ready to settle down with his long-time fiancée. The arrangements for his grand wedding were already in place and invitations were sent to friends and family members expecting a big feast. As the wedding day approached, an unexpected revelation ruined everything. Darwin never intended to hide his past from his fiancée. However, when he confessed having a kid with another woman long before they met and that kid will visit the country months after their wedding, the bride-to-be had a fit of rage.
With a sway of one hand, the wedding was called off. Relatives, who were ready to head to Manila suddenly received the biggest disappointment of their lives. The hundreds of thousands of pesos spent on the arrangements went for nothing. Darwin never even got a refund. When the dust had settled and the girl had been knocked back to her senses, it was Darwin who lost interest in the wedding. They split up afterwards.
Our friend would describe the months after the failed union as his age of hedonistic rampage. He would go to places around the country, sample their delights and splurge his money like there's no tomorrow. He was a runaway train bent on a head-on collision with the grand central station, and only his mother's timely intervention stopped him from his tracks.
His mother suggested that he should invest his remaining money in business. After all, he is getting old and needed to focus on urgent things in life - like finding means to support himself aside from getting an eight-hour job. Weary and with nowhere else to go, he followed her advice and opened a travel agency somewhere in Taft. It was the first among his several business ventures that belong to the empire he rules today.
We knew, from his earliest presence in G4M that he has a knack for being an exhibitionist in cyberspace. With his dark, smooth features and rock-hard abs, his nakedness was a sight to behold. Sometimes, he would show up in the thread just to announce having a show in the chat room. The headless guys who flocked the thread would suddenly disappear and we would later find out that everyone left to see Darwin whack his ding-dong-ding on cam.
His penchant for doing nude shows lead him from the heterosexual crowd towards the gay flock. "Mahilig kasi ako dating mag-show sa YM. Eh nung minsan, napunta ako sa Men's Locker Room. Hindi ko kasi alam na ganun pala ang mga tao dun, akala ko may mga babae." His mistake was admissible. Inside the mind of a very horny straight boy, a very horny girl would go to chat rooms swarmed by perv men. What Darwin did not anticipate is that the room was flocked not by girls but gay and bi guys.
"Hayun nga, nagshoshow ako sa chatroom pero ang pinagtataka ko, bakit puro lalaki ang nagvie-view sa akin," he chuckles. "Yun pala nung nagtanong na ako kung may babae dun, lahat sila nagtawanan kasi puro bading daw yung nandon. Umalis na ako."
However, there's this one chatter persistent enough to hound him wherever room he went. The chatter was Darwin's biggest admirer and no matter how he tried to push the chatter away, the chatter would simply come back trying to win the trust and confidence of our friend.
"Paano ko naman hindi lalayuan, sobrang bata nung humahabol tapos lalaki pa." He paused again to have a gulp of his third beer bottle after he began telling his story. "Kaso nung nagpakita ng picture, gwapo pala, tapos maputi. Hindi mukhang bading kaya na-curious ako." From that point onward, I knew something in his childhood triggered his curiosity. "Okay na sana maging tropa lang kami kaso mo nalaman niya na graduate rin ako ng Ateneo High School at naghahanap siya ng tutor para sa UPCAT."
He is aware that the stakes were high but the gains were too much to ignore. Darwin said that the kid was a product of a broken family. The kid's dad stayed in the United States while his mom lived in Germany. Both of them have their own families and it was his matron aunt who served as his guardian and caretaker. Despite having no parents, the family lived an opulent life. The kid was supported by both his parents while the aunt spent most of her time with the amigas than his senior high school nephew.
It was clear that the kid was looking not only for a male role model but a big brother who could take care of him. Darwin fitted all the credentials and the task assigned to him was very simple.
"Sabi sa akin nung aunt, i-tutor ko daw yung bata two hours every day. Four hundred ang bayad kada oras. Sa isang buwan magkano rin yun diba?" He was directing his question to Pinuno. Being an educator himself, the leader nodded at Darwin.
"So pumayag ako maging tutor nung bata."
"At nung bandang huli, nagsimulang may mangyari sa amin."
---
-tobecontinued-
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