Imagination sets the stage for this blog to exist. I compare the journey to a colony ship sailing the space between stars to carry the seeds of expression to a distant world. The planet landing was my first entry. It may appear more like a writing exercise but the free-flow of thoughts was a liberating experience. The earliest blog entries spoke about friendship. It was the Odders. Though I may appear more of a wallflower in our little gatherings, I was their chronicler. Many years later, when everyone else in the group closed down their blogs, it was through me that our memories gained immortality. I began as a follower of a bandwagon. I ended up challenging time to scrutinize my work.
Many would ask why I do I write. What happiness do I gain in keeping histories even if it takes two to four hours to weave a story. Answers reveal ambiguity. There is no true reason for writing. I just enjoy it. The blog owes it existence to the constant downplay of my potentials. I look down on my words and styles so that I may be challenged to change it. I break down walls to see a bigger life beyond my sexuality. I took great pains to evolve and pretend that nobody ever reads me. I even turn down my stirrings of publishing a book, so that the blog itself would continue to live on because of my struggles.
And so the blog thrives six years after its stellar glimmer first caught attention in this part of space.
As some bloggers contemplate on closing down their online realms, (for one reason or another) while others turn them into a money-generating machine (with their contents becoming less and less engaging) I continue to adhere to expression and creativity. It must be the reason why I gain followers even if I don't usually leave my presence when reading other blogs. It's been a long journey I tell you. Even my words have changed after years and years of persistent writing.
But I guess there is no stopping. So long as there is a story worth sharing and so long as there is someone out there who longs to write their stories - to express themselves in wind whispers, - then I will continue to serve and become a motivator for these people to write.
For the goal of writing is not really to impress, or gain monetary rewards or being read by people. Such rewards come with time, humility and maturity. Writing is an artistic creation worthy of permanence. It is a method of expression that liberates the soul. It doesn't matter if words are flawed or other writers seem so mighty, that one feels they should never take their place. I've been to gatherings where rubbing elbows with prominent bloggers is unavoidable. I exchange pleasantries with dot.com masters and online demi-gods with a sense of insecurity and awkwardness at the back of my head.
Funny how I see myself as someone small even if the blog reveals having 76 followers (which I religiously follow and read in between my writing breaks)
It's because no matter where I find myself and no matter how many recognitions and complements I receive because of Mugenblog, I always look back at the first entry and remember how such simple act of posting juvenile thoughts online would actually lead to planet -wide reverberations.
Thank you for reading.
Many would ask why I do I write. What happiness do I gain in keeping histories even if it takes two to four hours to weave a story. Answers reveal ambiguity. There is no true reason for writing. I just enjoy it. The blog owes it existence to the constant downplay of my potentials. I look down on my words and styles so that I may be challenged to change it. I break down walls to see a bigger life beyond my sexuality. I took great pains to evolve and pretend that nobody ever reads me. I even turn down my stirrings of publishing a book, so that the blog itself would continue to live on because of my struggles.
And so the blog thrives six years after its stellar glimmer first caught attention in this part of space.
As some bloggers contemplate on closing down their online realms, (for one reason or another) while others turn them into a money-generating machine (with their contents becoming less and less engaging) I continue to adhere to expression and creativity. It must be the reason why I gain followers even if I don't usually leave my presence when reading other blogs. It's been a long journey I tell you. Even my words have changed after years and years of persistent writing.
But I guess there is no stopping. So long as there is a story worth sharing and so long as there is someone out there who longs to write their stories - to express themselves in wind whispers, - then I will continue to serve and become a motivator for these people to write.
For the goal of writing is not really to impress, or gain monetary rewards or being read by people. Such rewards come with time, humility and maturity. Writing is an artistic creation worthy of permanence. It is a method of expression that liberates the soul. It doesn't matter if words are flawed or other writers seem so mighty, that one feels they should never take their place. I've been to gatherings where rubbing elbows with prominent bloggers is unavoidable. I exchange pleasantries with dot.com masters and online demi-gods with a sense of insecurity and awkwardness at the back of my head.
Funny how I see myself as someone small even if the blog reveals having 76 followers (which I religiously follow and read in between my writing breaks)
It's because no matter where I find myself and no matter how many recognitions and complements I receive because of Mugenblog, I always look back at the first entry and remember how such simple act of posting juvenile thoughts online would actually lead to planet -wide reverberations.
Thank you for reading.
"This is the first time I'll be posting in my blog. Phew, it was a very long time since I did this journal thing. Maybe its time to move on... everybody's doing it so why can't I?
I can't remember who said it but when a friend posted at the Yahoo Groups that my friends would get bored posting their thoughts at the online message board, a sudden bite of reality caught me. Everybody's migrating already and I guess it's also time for me to go. No matter what assurance I get from them, I think that the exodus bound to happen. I dunno but the migration thing really got me.
I was quite shocked with what happened to Henry lately. I never thought his buddy would play tricks behind his back. Sabagay, in this kind of life, those things are most likely to happen. The thing is, no matter how I deny it, there's something in me that's kinda worried with what his bud has done to him. Parang naiisip ko what if my bud did those things to me. Shempre, I would become helpless. Kahit ilang beses ko sabihin na I will move on and return to being a fucker mode, it would definitely destroy everything that I've built for the past 10 months. Sana totoo ngang seryoso ang bud ko sa akin. I'm already looking forward in sharing a future with him and I hope he'll never fuck the chance to enjoy a life with me.
Anyway that's all for now. I have to prepare for the contingent this evening. Maybe I'll post back again proximus. It's nice to see you back."
Colony Ship Landed
February 24, 2004
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