"Do not do unto others, what others do not want to do unto you."
- Anon
"For there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven."
- Jesus Christ, Matthew 19:11
---
The sun was barely up when I left home this morning. The day-long gwapo sleep I had yesterday restored my energy to its normal levels. It was well known throughout the Twitter Community how grumpy my week was and I felt bad about it. Sleeplessness had taken its toll and there were even times when my usually calm and controlled attitude was overtaken by my violent and carnal tendencies. Fortunately, mind control was able to put me at a distance away from those careless enough to cross my path.
Guilt ridden, I headed towards my refuge in Katipunan. Maybe what I needed was a spiritual fix now that I am feeling an imbalance in my being. If I let my destructive inclinations take over me, I might lose my hard-earned peace. Much as I was hesitant to set sail towards my destination, it was my will that lead me there. Let fate have my redemption, what matters is that I tried.
I arrived at Santa Clara while a holy mass was going on. It isn't my desire to attend masses especially if I find the man standing on the pulpit too lousy to explain the words he proclaim. But my time was short and I had to bask myself in any spiritual bounty I would harvest from this morning's expedition.
I sat on the pew which most appealed to me.
Now the word "appeal" is subject to further scrutiny. In my case, the pew which is most desirable would not be the one closest to the priest. Instead, the most attractive spot for me would be the one next to the cutest guy in the church. I'm just human for Christ's sake. If I'm a straight guy, I would most likely sit beside the most gorgeous lady around.
So that was the case this morning. I found myself seating beside a fair-looking Narcissus who, for some reasons decided to attend the early morning mass. All throughout the service, I tried my best not to look at his direction. But how can I resist a demon-looking, late-twenties stud sitting beside me, especially when he doesn't make any effort to put some distance despite my attempts to pull back.
The Lord's Prayer has concluded and it was time for the Rite of Peace. It is the part where everyone exchanges a sign of peace with one another. On my part, it will be the climax of the tension which began to build up the moment I sat beside the lean-bodied Adonis. I would have to look at him in the eye, scan the contours of his elfish face and have a fill of his presence which I may never enjoy again. Sometimes, I would like to blame my repressive nature for harboring twisted thoughts. If I was as hedonistic as I used to be, his closeness would never create any sexual tension that I would soon suppress.
"Peace be with you..." he answered. His eyes expressed disinterest. Maybe, what I felt was nothing after all.
The Eucharist ended with our arms barely a few inches away from rubbing each other. I don't know if my slight wobbling throughout the mass drew me closer or it was the other way round. His gravity was too strong that the only way to repulse my attraction was for him to leave. As I was preparing to start my weekly habit, he stood up to get something from his bag. All along, I thought he was just arranging its contents before leaving the pew. To my surprise he took out a green booklet and knelt beside me.
He had his novena to match my rosary.
It was difficult to focus on the beads knowing that I was distracted by his actions. Was his decision to stay a sign of his intention to reach out? Was his novena as genuine as my rosary in connecting with the Source? I may never find out. For as we were praying next to each other, another guy sat beside me. The look in his eyes and the way he smiled meant something. Instincts revealed its malicious intent but since I was inside the house of the Almighty, I brushed my nature and welcomed his presence.
Halfway towards the end of my second mystery of light, the eye candy to my left made a sign of the cross to conclude his novena. Meanwhile, the guy to my right wiggled closer putting me in a defensive position. He was invading my space so I had to turn my head and check what he was doing. Once again, he smiled at me.
As I was about to return to my meditation, he tried to break the ice by engaging me in a conversation.
"Excuse me..." He said pa-cutely.
"Ano yun dude?" I responded with slight disturbance.
"Favor naman... baka puwede mo akong ipag-pray." Now he was trying to be cute.
"Para saan?" I answered back, annoyed.
"Enlightenment."
Fine. Someone wanted a pray-over session. Had I known it would be used on me, I should have said the same lines to get the hunky Narcissus' attention earlier. I wouldn't mind praying for someone's soul. My only confusion was the person who solicited my prayers was inside the church. He could pray for himself and the almighty would still listen.
Confused with his favor, I said yes to his intercessions. He left the pew soon after and being guilty of my snooty attitude, I prayed for him. However, my troubles this morning has just begun. Barely into my fifth mystery of light, he showed up again with the sheer intention of pestering my moment of bliss.
"Seminarian ka ba?"
"Hindi... Siyanga pala, pinagdasal na kita." His face suddenly glowed after granting his favor.
"Teacher nga pala ako, etc. etc." Impressions tell that he is a man of faith. His introductions only made me wonder why he needed my prayers when his religious affiliations gave him a stronger connection to the almighty.
"So bakit ka nandito? Are you a brother, may community ka ba, order, etc."
"I'm just a normal person who happens to pray." Once again, his lousy attempts to communicate drove me ballistic.
"Wow. Pinahanga mo naman ako, bihira lang ako maka-meet ng totoong lalaki na nagdadasal." Gotcha, my instincts did not fool me this time. His unnecessary complements only triggered me to put thick walls between us.
"Dude, I'm praying. Can we just talk after I'm done." He got back to his senses, he quietly retreated from his assaults.
I do not know if he was trying to be very friendly but his careless actions would have got him a blow right on his face. You see, one thing that makes me really, really furious is when a stranger touches my things without my permission. As I calmly utter the last of the Hail Mary's, his hand snatched the Bible that I read at the start of every mystery. If not for my sacred promise to be a little less snooty this week, he could have raised hell at a moment's notice. Arming myself with infinite patience, I overlooked his transgression and focused on my prayers instead.
My prayers were drawing to a close and at the back of my head, I had an idea what would happen next. Much as I try to avoid hurting his feelings, compromises had to be made. It wasn't his fault that my appearance caught his interest. It's like the tables were overturned on me, had I've been more aggressive in pursuing the eye candy. Uttering my final prayers, I finally felt the spiritual link that I sought all morning.
"Lord I know that I'd be committing a lie if this guy continues to annoy me. I know he will so I hope you would understand if I would appear too aloof to accommodate his presence. Jesus Christ, upon reading the passages in the Bible had his snooty moments too. I will keep in mind not to be too harsh on him, and I pray that my actions would be forgiven, no matter how self-serving they are."
I made a sign of the cross, which was the same sign the pursuer was waiting all this time.
---
"So puwede ka ba maging friend?"
"Ayos lang. Yun lang naman pala eh." I said somewhat sarcastically.
"So bakit kailangan mo ng enlightenment samantalang mas malapit ka sa Diyos kesa sa akin."
"Wala lang, medyo naliligaw lang ako ng landas paminsan-minsan. Alam mo na, gusto kong maging straight ang buhay ko."
"Kaya nga tayo pumupunta sa simbahan para magkaroon ng kapayapaan diba?"
"Alam ko naman yun eh... Wala lang."
"So anong maipaglilingkod ko sa iyo dude?" I finally decided to cut the chase.
"Puwede ba makuha ang number mo?"
"Wala akong cellphone pare eh."
"Ganun ba? So paano kita makikita?"
"Tiyempuhan mo ulit ako dito."
Before we left the premises, he finally spoke about his sexuality. He confessed that he fell in love with men and women in different phases of his life. I rolled my eyes in anticipation for his final spiel.
"Ikaw ba, ayos lang sa iyo ang ganun?"
"Hindi ako nanghuhusga ng kapwa tao. Kung saan sila masaya edi okay lang sa akin." If he only knew, I was rooting for the guy who sat beside me before he showed up.
"Eh paano kung gusto kitang maging kaibigan, o kaya mahalin ka, papayag ka ba nun?" His remarks were flattering really, but I'm simply not into him. His lousy approach had already put me off.
"Pasensya na pero hindi ako pumapatol pare." Apologies for betraying the rainbow code. Even straight-acting guys like me have to turn our backs if it calls for self-preservation.
"Sana hindi yan ang rason kaya gusto mo akong maging kaibigan..."
He still insisted in getting my number while waiting for an FX to pass by the road. All his attempts were met with stiff resistance. Though I cannot deny that I underestimated his persistence, I was profoundly impressed by his gall to cross lines I would never dare step my feet on. Blame it on my pride, or some made-up situations where such attempts would surely end in humiliation. Point it on past rejections I never got over with, but no, I would not subject myself to such troubles especially now that I can easily send my fleet to any seas I am invited.
An FX bound for Cubao emerged from a corner barely after we arrived. Much as I would like to give him the pleasure to harass me for the last time, I had to go and head for work. Raising my right hand to hail the incoming vehicle, I bid my goodbye to the gentleman beside me. "It was a lesson learned," I told myself. "Had I followed his lead and did the same thing to the guy I came across shortly before he came, I would end up making a fool out of myself."
The almighty spoke to me this morning. The house of heavenly worship cannot afford to have a garden of earthly delights.
- Anon
"For there are different reasons why men cannot marry: some because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven."
- Jesus Christ, Matthew 19:11
---
The sun was barely up when I left home this morning. The day-long gwapo sleep I had yesterday restored my energy to its normal levels. It was well known throughout the Twitter Community how grumpy my week was and I felt bad about it. Sleeplessness had taken its toll and there were even times when my usually calm and controlled attitude was overtaken by my violent and carnal tendencies. Fortunately, mind control was able to put me at a distance away from those careless enough to cross my path.
Guilt ridden, I headed towards my refuge in Katipunan. Maybe what I needed was a spiritual fix now that I am feeling an imbalance in my being. If I let my destructive inclinations take over me, I might lose my hard-earned peace. Much as I was hesitant to set sail towards my destination, it was my will that lead me there. Let fate have my redemption, what matters is that I tried.
I arrived at Santa Clara while a holy mass was going on. It isn't my desire to attend masses especially if I find the man standing on the pulpit too lousy to explain the words he proclaim. But my time was short and I had to bask myself in any spiritual bounty I would harvest from this morning's expedition.
I sat on the pew which most appealed to me.
Now the word "appeal" is subject to further scrutiny. In my case, the pew which is most desirable would not be the one closest to the priest. Instead, the most attractive spot for me would be the one next to the cutest guy in the church. I'm just human for Christ's sake. If I'm a straight guy, I would most likely sit beside the most gorgeous lady around.
So that was the case this morning. I found myself seating beside a fair-looking Narcissus who, for some reasons decided to attend the early morning mass. All throughout the service, I tried my best not to look at his direction. But how can I resist a demon-looking, late-twenties stud sitting beside me, especially when he doesn't make any effort to put some distance despite my attempts to pull back.
The Lord's Prayer has concluded and it was time for the Rite of Peace. It is the part where everyone exchanges a sign of peace with one another. On my part, it will be the climax of the tension which began to build up the moment I sat beside the lean-bodied Adonis. I would have to look at him in the eye, scan the contours of his elfish face and have a fill of his presence which I may never enjoy again. Sometimes, I would like to blame my repressive nature for harboring twisted thoughts. If I was as hedonistic as I used to be, his closeness would never create any sexual tension that I would soon suppress.
"Peace be with you..." he answered. His eyes expressed disinterest. Maybe, what I felt was nothing after all.
The Eucharist ended with our arms barely a few inches away from rubbing each other. I don't know if my slight wobbling throughout the mass drew me closer or it was the other way round. His gravity was too strong that the only way to repulse my attraction was for him to leave. As I was preparing to start my weekly habit, he stood up to get something from his bag. All along, I thought he was just arranging its contents before leaving the pew. To my surprise he took out a green booklet and knelt beside me.
He had his novena to match my rosary.
It was difficult to focus on the beads knowing that I was distracted by his actions. Was his decision to stay a sign of his intention to reach out? Was his novena as genuine as my rosary in connecting with the Source? I may never find out. For as we were praying next to each other, another guy sat beside me. The look in his eyes and the way he smiled meant something. Instincts revealed its malicious intent but since I was inside the house of the Almighty, I brushed my nature and welcomed his presence.
Halfway towards the end of my second mystery of light, the eye candy to my left made a sign of the cross to conclude his novena. Meanwhile, the guy to my right wiggled closer putting me in a defensive position. He was invading my space so I had to turn my head and check what he was doing. Once again, he smiled at me.
As I was about to return to my meditation, he tried to break the ice by engaging me in a conversation.
"Excuse me..." He said pa-cutely.
"Ano yun dude?" I responded with slight disturbance.
"Favor naman... baka puwede mo akong ipag-pray." Now he was trying to be cute.
"Para saan?" I answered back, annoyed.
"Enlightenment."
Fine. Someone wanted a pray-over session. Had I known it would be used on me, I should have said the same lines to get the hunky Narcissus' attention earlier. I wouldn't mind praying for someone's soul. My only confusion was the person who solicited my prayers was inside the church. He could pray for himself and the almighty would still listen.
Confused with his favor, I said yes to his intercessions. He left the pew soon after and being guilty of my snooty attitude, I prayed for him. However, my troubles this morning has just begun. Barely into my fifth mystery of light, he showed up again with the sheer intention of pestering my moment of bliss.
"Seminarian ka ba?"
"Hindi... Siyanga pala, pinagdasal na kita." His face suddenly glowed after granting his favor.
"Teacher nga pala ako, etc. etc." Impressions tell that he is a man of faith. His introductions only made me wonder why he needed my prayers when his religious affiliations gave him a stronger connection to the almighty.
"So bakit ka nandito? Are you a brother, may community ka ba, order, etc."
"I'm just a normal person who happens to pray." Once again, his lousy attempts to communicate drove me ballistic.
"Wow. Pinahanga mo naman ako, bihira lang ako maka-meet ng totoong lalaki na nagdadasal." Gotcha, my instincts did not fool me this time. His unnecessary complements only triggered me to put thick walls between us.
"Dude, I'm praying. Can we just talk after I'm done." He got back to his senses, he quietly retreated from his assaults.
I do not know if he was trying to be very friendly but his careless actions would have got him a blow right on his face. You see, one thing that makes me really, really furious is when a stranger touches my things without my permission. As I calmly utter the last of the Hail Mary's, his hand snatched the Bible that I read at the start of every mystery. If not for my sacred promise to be a little less snooty this week, he could have raised hell at a moment's notice. Arming myself with infinite patience, I overlooked his transgression and focused on my prayers instead.
My prayers were drawing to a close and at the back of my head, I had an idea what would happen next. Much as I try to avoid hurting his feelings, compromises had to be made. It wasn't his fault that my appearance caught his interest. It's like the tables were overturned on me, had I've been more aggressive in pursuing the eye candy. Uttering my final prayers, I finally felt the spiritual link that I sought all morning.
"Lord I know that I'd be committing a lie if this guy continues to annoy me. I know he will so I hope you would understand if I would appear too aloof to accommodate his presence. Jesus Christ, upon reading the passages in the Bible had his snooty moments too. I will keep in mind not to be too harsh on him, and I pray that my actions would be forgiven, no matter how self-serving they are."
I made a sign of the cross, which was the same sign the pursuer was waiting all this time.
---
"So puwede ka ba maging friend?"
"Ayos lang. Yun lang naman pala eh." I said somewhat sarcastically.
"So bakit kailangan mo ng enlightenment samantalang mas malapit ka sa Diyos kesa sa akin."
"Wala lang, medyo naliligaw lang ako ng landas paminsan-minsan. Alam mo na, gusto kong maging straight ang buhay ko."
"Kaya nga tayo pumupunta sa simbahan para magkaroon ng kapayapaan diba?"
"Alam ko naman yun eh... Wala lang."
"So anong maipaglilingkod ko sa iyo dude?" I finally decided to cut the chase.
"Puwede ba makuha ang number mo?"
"Wala akong cellphone pare eh."
"Ganun ba? So paano kita makikita?"
"Tiyempuhan mo ulit ako dito."
Before we left the premises, he finally spoke about his sexuality. He confessed that he fell in love with men and women in different phases of his life. I rolled my eyes in anticipation for his final spiel.
"Ikaw ba, ayos lang sa iyo ang ganun?"
"Hindi ako nanghuhusga ng kapwa tao. Kung saan sila masaya edi okay lang sa akin." If he only knew, I was rooting for the guy who sat beside me before he showed up.
"Eh paano kung gusto kitang maging kaibigan, o kaya mahalin ka, papayag ka ba nun?" His remarks were flattering really, but I'm simply not into him. His lousy approach had already put me off.
"Pasensya na pero hindi ako pumapatol pare." Apologies for betraying the rainbow code. Even straight-acting guys like me have to turn our backs if it calls for self-preservation.
"Sana hindi yan ang rason kaya gusto mo akong maging kaibigan..."
He still insisted in getting my number while waiting for an FX to pass by the road. All his attempts were met with stiff resistance. Though I cannot deny that I underestimated his persistence, I was profoundly impressed by his gall to cross lines I would never dare step my feet on. Blame it on my pride, or some made-up situations where such attempts would surely end in humiliation. Point it on past rejections I never got over with, but no, I would not subject myself to such troubles especially now that I can easily send my fleet to any seas I am invited.
An FX bound for Cubao emerged from a corner barely after we arrived. Much as I would like to give him the pleasure to harass me for the last time, I had to go and head for work. Raising my right hand to hail the incoming vehicle, I bid my goodbye to the gentleman beside me. "It was a lesson learned," I told myself. "Had I followed his lead and did the same thing to the guy I came across shortly before he came, I would end up making a fool out of myself."
The almighty spoke to me this morning. The house of heavenly worship cannot afford to have a garden of earthly delights.
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