Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ascension Journals: Parallel Lives

May 13, 2001
1:40 am

Natapos muli ang araw ko. Marahil, masuwerte pa rin ako na tuloy-tuloy ang operasyon ng [publishing house]

Tanghali na ako nagising at sa unang pagkakataon ay kumain ako dito sa opisina. Buong tanghali ay inayos namin ang inner office ni dad. Hapon na kami natapos.

Nagbigay ng press statement ang ka-brod ni dad na si Paul. Ngunit hindi pumayag ang managing editor na si Sir Arnold na ilabas ang dala niya. Alam kasi naming dalawa na hindi mananalo ang kandidato sa eleksyon.

Mukhang sinasabotahe ang pamumuno ko. Ibinalita sa akin ni Jude (isang subordinate) na dalawang mouse ang binalak putulin ng salarin. Nagtagumpay siya sa isa. Pag nagtuloy-tuloy ito, magiging challenge ito para sa akin. Ano kaya ang gagawin ko?

Apat na gabi na wala si Dad. Ramdam ko na rin ang pangungulila. Wala akong mapagkatiwalaan. Napaparanoid na ako.

Sana kayanin ko pa, kahit alam kong sa ayaw ko't sa gusto, uupo ako rito. Sabi nila, masyado raw akong maluwag, sa akin balewala yun hangga't natatapos ang trabaho.

Miss ko na ang kabataan ko. Nananalangin ako na bukas sana ay smooth pa rin ang trabaho.

Maraming araw pa at kailangan ko pa magpakatatag. Dad, agahan mo sana ang pagbalik.


It was the summer of 2001 when dad thought of spending a vacation in Europe with his business partner. Being the inheritor, I was asked to manage the day to day operations of our Publishing Company. I was 19 years old then and fresh from my on-the-job-training at Manila Times as their lifestyle writer.

The change from the laid-back bliss of the lifestyle page to the center-of-intrigue and deceptive news writing of the Publishing Company revealed my unpreparedness for a future I was groomed to take. At an early age, I was pitted against my dad's business partner - who was also his mistress and the great dame of all his employees. To them, I was merely a pretender who they had no choice but to obey or heads will roll when I tell the king of their disobedience.

Eight years later, in a company that isn't mine but bore witness to its growth, the boss expressed his dissatisfaction for the first time after catching a subordinate playing online games at a time her focus should be at work. Today could have been my best run (after being able to effectively spread out the center's unusual volume of work to all my colleagues) but due to the online games incident, I went home exhausted and disappointed.

Tomorrow seems a good day to take a break.


gillboard said...

there are just those days...

don't take that too personally, shit like that happens all the time.

Luigene F. Yanoria said...

So this is what you're referring to. :)

I think it's a nice read to some degree. I always love the works which show parallelism with the maturity and age of the writer. Here you didn’t hide your age. I like the article’s honesty. The youth’s vulnerability to people’s disapproval (or acceptance) is present. Early responsibility—at times forced and unsolicited—makes us anxious, me too included. (I don’t have a publishing company to run though. lol. Rich kid ka pala. Haha)

Btw, your reference to your longing for childhood makes me realize that I'm about to (or already did) miss mine. And my teenage. I can't afford to miss my young adulthood then. I'm now busy catching up since I think I've missed a lot during my previous years so backlogs are a threat.

Last thing, I believe the old could learn a thing or two from the young. They are no God. They just earned years but not necessarily wisdom. The youth's innocence and idealism could work to our advantage.

I'm sure in the process you learn from this experience. Thanks for checking on your a-little-younger-contemporaries in the Web. I say this to everyone in our league, let's keep our generation inspired. This time, let's learn from the old's bad sense of history.

Luigene F. Yanoria said...

I just noticed that you wrote this journal on May 13, 2001, two days after I got circumcised. Haha. No kidding. I could still remember myself cleansing the stitches with boiled bayabas leaves straight from our fruit-denied tree. Oo, nangamatis din ‘yung sa’kin. Haha. I just turned 12 then. Nung naglalanggas pala ko ng tuli ko eh may isang bagito sa ibang parte ng mundo na pansamantalang nagpapatakbo ng kumpanya ng tatay nya. hehe I could still remember senatorial aspirants who hold Miting de Avance left and right as days approach to eledction day. I was for People Power Coalition that time since they’ve got everyone’s approval, thanks to Edsa II. GMA then was the Godmother. Eight years forward, she’s generous Godmother to trapos and witch turned sex icon (vomits) to greater Filipinos.

Knox Galen said...

Lui: So you saw your own parallelism in my entry. That's cool. So where do I begin?

I have to admit that a part of me really misses those days. Less responsibility, malawak ang security net. As you grow older, the more responsibilities you have to take in life. The next thing you know, you're running your own show na.

I'm seven years older than you. That's why it didn't come as a surprise that you're just being circumcised at that time. Thanks for dropping by. Expect me returning the favor in your next entry.

Gillboard: Intensity men. That's the reason why I feel bad about my oversight.

<*period*>; said...

gosh, mas lalo akong naintriga na makilala work in a publishing company pagaari ng dad mo..grabe...

Aris said...

may business din ang dad ko. maliit pa ako, tine-train niya na ako. kaya nang lumaki ako, nag-business din ako.

right now, my business partner is in the states and i am left alone to oversee everything. sobrang busy ako at laging pagod. i wish bumalik na siya soon.

ito ang dahilan kung bakit masyado akong naka-relate sa post mo. :)