Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Convocation

Naroon ako sa iyong graduation. Huwag mo nang ipaalam sa akin ang mga detalye sapagkat makukuha ko rin iyon sa pamamagitan ng aking mga koneksyon.

- Fullmetal Dreams | Ending Song


---

"Are you one of the ushers sir?"

"Yes, why?"

"Can you give this to him?" The usher reads the name of the person to whom the card was addressed.

His name booms across the plenary hall - before the usher was able to finish reading the envelope.

"Siya po ba?" The usher points at the guy emerging from the steps.

"Yup. Siya nga."

"Subukan ko po ha."

"Please... Kailangan ko na pumasok sa work eh. Hindi ko na ito maiaabot mamaya."

The usher walked away leaving my feet firmly stuck a few steps away from the graduates' row. My eyes were glued at the person parading across the stage. The sway of his hand exudes confidence. His gaze, almost jubilant. Alone and proud, he approached the dean to receive his degree. Four years of a shared journey and it all comes to this.

---

Time flies without calling much attention. The last time I recall, he was merely aspiring to get a university degree. Twice he told me he wasn't satisfied with a technical certificate. Graduating from a fly-by-night school will never get him anywhere. His dreams were lofty, but ambition will exact a heavy price. I presented him with several gloomy situations, which all were ignored. He pushed forward with his aspirations and the next thing I knew, he was about to enroll in this university along Taft through a scholarship grant.

I didn't expect him to make it but the winds of good fortune seem to be blowing his sails.

The moment he stepped inside the university, my resources became his. Guilt ridden at how less I thought of his potentials, I made a decision to share the burden and help him in ways I could: The doors of my room flung open when he needed a place to do research. We would do his projects together, often making huge contributions at how he should analyze the situations being presented on the manuals. When he was short on cash to print a report, I let him draw on my savings.

I would even make long trips just to deliver the money to him.

In return, he never drifted far from his objectives. He would show me string after string of high marks as a reminder that our project is doing well. The sacrifice was well worth it, even when I felt taken for granted many times. It was sad however because now that I see it at a hindsight, our entire relationship was driven by his quest for a diploma. Thoughts of running away and reclaiming my freedom was suppressed for a long time by the constant presence of his paper works in my room.

The cycle would have went on, until I realized one day that our relationship had become too one-sided.

So I bolted out from the union nine months before his convocation was set.

---

The dean extends his hand to congratulate the young man. His recognition came with a parchment, whose rough surface bears the young man's name and the degree he now claims.

I showed up this morning to honor a promise and fulfill a request he bequeathed on a personal letter a few months ago. The objective wasn't really to have a dialogue or embrace the thought of reconciliation. It was more of a cordial send off party; to partake on an event that could have been revered in another way .

The usher could be seen from a distance carrying the card on his way to the young man. Instead of delivering it personally, he tapped a colleague's shoulder to pass the card forward. As the small white envelope exchanges hands, I knew that finality was at hand. The thread that binds us together is now gone and the memories of four years I have been his sidekick (or accomplice) would be ours to remember.

In secret.

Despite my blurry vision, I saw him getting the package. As for whom it came from, it does not matter.

I was already out of sight the moment his hand had firmly clasped my card.

12 comments:

gillboard said...

closure?

Rain Darwin said...

I now realize wer in the same boat. Next March would be his graduation. I am compelled to show up to his graduation when I sworn an oath to him. But things have changed and we parted ways with much grudge and bitterness. I guess like what u did, I would rather see him from a distance when he steps up on stage to receive his diploma. I don’t have the courage to show up personally, but sending him greeting card would somehow suffice my avowed promise. (sigh).

blagadag said...

hug.

[dazedblu] said...

i felt sad. ;(

cloud said...

naiyak ako dito...

*akap*

Yj said...

ganito rin ang iyak ko nung nabasa ko yung Phanks entry.......

:(

Jinjiruks said...

ok lang iyon knox. at least alam mong nasa mabuting kamay na siya!

period said...

youve been a good provider.at least hindi ka nagkulang..congratulations na rin po kasi naging mabuting gabay ka sa kaniya

argunn said...

the plan.. it might not be that perfect but it worked.

a job well done.

MkSurf8 said...

congrats sa yo. ang galeng!

tsaka bagay na panimula sa inyong dalawa. kaya tinawag siya na commencement exercises. ;-)

red the mod said...

Fate has a way of correcting things we have long conceded against. Of regaining what was lost, and what has been newly found. I salute you sir for the strength and audacity to put in action a conclusion that your readers have long sought for you.

This is not the end of this story. It is a mere turning of the chapters to a new volume replete with new learnings,and an opportunity to find what has been overlooked that last time the citadel let its moat dry in seclusion.

I am eager for that day.

Lyka Bergen said...

This has nothing to do with ur post above. I just want to say how I am touched with your previous post "Waiting For Dracula". Ang lakas ng impact sa akin, Pare! Crush na kita! LOL