Words have no meaning until action is finally taken.
I was reading E's blog the other day. He wrote about a poz friend who is fighting for dear life at this very moment. His name is RR and E was able to paint a clear picture of his condition. A person living with HIV must not only resist opportunistic diseases that destroy the body from within. The defensive role is performed by Anti Retro-Viral Drugs. However, a poz person do not live on drugs alone. He must find a reason to go on and live a normal life. What kills is depression. It sniffs out life from a being leaving the person more open to signing a surrender notice.
That is why E wrote a blog asking for support.
He wanted RR to realize his life is still worth living.
---
Dragging myself out of bed on a Saturday morning was torture. All I ever desired was to sleep all day and ignore the problems of the world. I wanted to escape to my simulated life in Tropico and be El Presidente for eight hours. I was looking forward to watch all my favorite shows on Cable Television, especially now that Discovery Channel is back on our channel line-up. I wanted to forget that I only have two days' rest before the gods call me to perform miracles again. I am burning out and for a change
I wanted to disappear and break my cycle.
But to vanish out of thin air without setting a journey defeats the purpose of becoming Houdini. For one, where would I go? I've been snooty these past few weeks when it comes to the cravings of the flesh and doing a turnaround just to say, "I fucked" will undo all my chastitic accomplishments.
Meeting up with friends and having lunch at a mall (or watching a movie) would be a thoughtful way of spending a Saturday afternoon. But since a lot of them have their own activities, (plus the fact that I heavily rely on invitations when meeting up with buddies) I decided to go solo and plan my own field trip.
---
I'm used to going out alone to seek my own adventure. I find it easier to jump from one place to another without anyone to slow my pace. Should in any case I invite someone to go out with me, it means I am confident that the person would enjoy my lust for wandering. I walk great distances, even under a scorching sun. Armed with a camera to preserve my voyages with pictures, I wouldn't mind where my feet would take me. Every footstep is a journey.
However, things were different yesterday.
With no digicam to capture images of places I am planning to see, I was having second thoughts of setting sail on my own. And with muscle pains, sleeplessness and jadedness catching up with age, there's no use enjoying childish wonders when thoughts are dominated by how heavy and glum your body felt. Finally, with no extra money to spare, it means I have to spend within the means of my budget. If it requires to give up comfort for something I would do for the first time - then I should let go of such cozy state.
---
Things were becoming clearer as the minutes of spontaneous planning passed. I may have no lofty reasons for doing such deed - except to fulfill a promise - and do something worthwhile while pretending to be Houdini.
The destination was set, the directions already planted in my head. Jumping from one spot to another, I know where my journey ends.
RITM, Muntinlupa.
Objective: RR receives a plant from the Souljacker.
I was reading E's blog the other day. He wrote about a poz friend who is fighting for dear life at this very moment. His name is RR and E was able to paint a clear picture of his condition. A person living with HIV must not only resist opportunistic diseases that destroy the body from within. The defensive role is performed by Anti Retro-Viral Drugs. However, a poz person do not live on drugs alone. He must find a reason to go on and live a normal life. What kills is depression. It sniffs out life from a being leaving the person more open to signing a surrender notice.
That is why E wrote a blog asking for support.
He wanted RR to realize his life is still worth living.
---
Dragging myself out of bed on a Saturday morning was torture. All I ever desired was to sleep all day and ignore the problems of the world. I wanted to escape to my simulated life in Tropico and be El Presidente for eight hours. I was looking forward to watch all my favorite shows on Cable Television, especially now that Discovery Channel is back on our channel line-up. I wanted to forget that I only have two days' rest before the gods call me to perform miracles again. I am burning out and for a change
I wanted to disappear and break my cycle.
But to vanish out of thin air without setting a journey defeats the purpose of becoming Houdini. For one, where would I go? I've been snooty these past few weeks when it comes to the cravings of the flesh and doing a turnaround just to say, "I fucked" will undo all my chastitic accomplishments.
Meeting up with friends and having lunch at a mall (or watching a movie) would be a thoughtful way of spending a Saturday afternoon. But since a lot of them have their own activities, (plus the fact that I heavily rely on invitations when meeting up with buddies) I decided to go solo and plan my own field trip.
---
I'm used to going out alone to seek my own adventure. I find it easier to jump from one place to another without anyone to slow my pace. Should in any case I invite someone to go out with me, it means I am confident that the person would enjoy my lust for wandering. I walk great distances, even under a scorching sun. Armed with a camera to preserve my voyages with pictures, I wouldn't mind where my feet would take me. Every footstep is a journey.
However, things were different yesterday.
With no digicam to capture images of places I am planning to see, I was having second thoughts of setting sail on my own. And with muscle pains, sleeplessness and jadedness catching up with age, there's no use enjoying childish wonders when thoughts are dominated by how heavy and glum your body felt. Finally, with no extra money to spare, it means I have to spend within the means of my budget. If it requires to give up comfort for something I would do for the first time - then I should let go of such cozy state.
---
Things were becoming clearer as the minutes of spontaneous planning passed. I may have no lofty reasons for doing such deed - except to fulfill a promise - and do something worthwhile while pretending to be Houdini.
The destination was set, the directions already planted in my head. Jumping from one spot to another, I know where my journey ends.
RITM, Muntinlupa.
Objective: RR receives a plant from the Souljacker.
---
-tobecontinued-
7 comments:
awwwww - sweet. T_T
You always complete my day.
isa sa mga naisip kong gawin ngayong araw matapos ang magpatingin sa isang espesyalista (dahil sa aking allergy) ay ang hanapin ang RITM dahil sa post ni E..
bagamat natukoy ko naman kung paano makararating duon mula sa aking kinaroroonan, hindi ko alam kung bakit alumpihit ang karaniwang malikot at hindi mapakaling mga talampakan na tumuloy sa aking plano.
kung nagkataon pala, baka nagpang-abot tayo ruon at nakilala mo kung sino ako
(mawawalan na rin ng saysay ang paggamit ko ng pangalang anteros kung may makakakilala sa akin..)
buti na lang, may panahon pa bukas
Wow...sarado ung OPD pag Sabado...Sana nakarating ka ng maayos at mejo extra challenge papunta sa RITM kasi kindda secluded sha. Pag dating mo pa doon, hahanapin mo pa yung dadalawin mo...Sana may nakapag entertain sayo ng maayos sa RITM. MAdami salamat Galen! Sobra Sobra! Pinasaya mo ang HIV community :-)
hayy it reminds us to be carefull all the time...
looking forward to the next post joms. =)
:)
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