---Minsan isang panahon, nakita ko ang sarili ko na nagbabasa ng isang libro sa loob ng library ng aming paaralan. Grade six ako noon, mapag-isa at mahilig tumambay sa pagitan ng dalawang naglalakihang bookshelves kung saan walang nakakakitang ibang tao sa akin. Isang tanghali, may mga lower grade pupils na nagtatakbuhan sa aisle kung saan ako malapit. Dahil naiistorbo nila ang pagbabasa ko ng encyclopedia, sinita ko sila para tumahimik. Nagtakbuhan papalayo ang mga bata at tumahimik muli ang paligid. Ngunit may isa pala sa kanilang natira at nangahas na lumapit sa akin.Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano ang mga tinanong niya sa akin. Hindi ko na rin maalala ang kanyang mukha, ang kanyang pangalan, o kung anong section siya nanggaling. Pero ang hindi ko makalimutang tinanong niya sa akin ay kung maari ba niya akong maging kuya... na madali ko namang pinaunlakan sapagkat gusto ko na rin siyang umalis sa tabi ko.
Natapos ang buong school year. Ilang beses pa kaming nagkita sa corridor ng aming building. Hindi ko na matandaan ang kanyang mukha o ang kanyang pangalan pero sa harap ng kanyang mga kaklase ay pinagmamalaki niya ako bilang kuya. Kahit hindi niya alam na sa batch ko, isa ako sa mga looser at outcast noon, taas noo pa rin niya akong tinuring na nakakatandang kapatid. Nang malapit na ang graduation, binalak ko siyang hanapin upang magpaalam at magpasalamat. Balak ko sanang ibigay sa kanya ang isa sa aking pinakatatagong Matchbox na kotche-kotchehan upang maalala man lang niya ako hanggang pagtanda.
Sa kasamaang palad hindi ko na siya nakita. Hindi na rin ako nakapagpaalam. Subalit, makalipas ang maraming panahon, natatandaan ko pa rin ang aming unang tagpuan.
- From the entry, Kuya.
The kids from our Walang Mukha thread in G4M would never discover my hidden nurturing instincts had Dodong never spilled the beans about me.
We had a drinking spree in Quattro a few months ago and one of those invited was Deathnote. I cannot recall what Dodong exactly said, but there was no doubt that the kid had been inspired to call me with a new endearment. He began calling me Idol-Nanay a few days after our tagayan session, and his friends started calling me the same endearment in the thread several weeks later.
But being called Nanay initially made me feel awkward. There I was projecting a very masculine personality by putting a picture of a Glock 22 pistol on my main profile, only to be addressed as Nanay by a bunch of kids, whenever I showed up in our thread. Fortunately, the guys who I had flirty private message conversations do not go to the forums. I didn't get my kills, but it wasn't because they questioned my masculinity.
Eventually, I learned to acknowledge their terms of endearment. It cannot be denied that when someone calls me Nanay, it triggers a response that will make me consider that person a friend than a bed-foe. Soon, I even began taking my role half-seriously. Calling me their Nanay made me believe that I had become responsible for their welfare, even if its just in the website.
Last night a reunion was held between me, Tagay and our leader Centurion. Our drinking session was long overdue and had even created some misunderstandings a few weeks ago. Since Centurion talks with the two kids who still calls me Nanay, he invited them last night. Perhaps, our leader thought that it would be easier to encourage me to go out on a Tuesday night with my so-called children tagging along.
That same afternoon, Tagay and I had a text conversation about my kids.
"Par sigurado ka, matatag sa inuman yung mga yun?" He asked me feeling somewhat worried about our other guests.
"Malay ko, hindi ko pa sila sinusubukan sa inuman eh. Alam mo naman ang nanay, ayaw nalalasing ang mga anak." I answered.
"Talagang kinarir mo ang pagiging nanay mo sa mga junakis mo ah!"
"Shempre nagiging good boy ako eh." I told him.
We spent a lengthy text message conversation about my new role to DN and my other kid who i would call Ungas for the meantime. I told Tagay that if he's looking forward to a Red Horse rematch with me, he should expect a weaker contender this time. "Kelangan kong umalalay sa mga anak ko pag may nagpass-out sa kanila," I reasoned out. "Para saan pa ang pagwowork out ko kung hindi ko mabubuhat yung mga binata ko?"
He jokingly answered that we shouldn't have invited them if that is the case.
---
And so the inuman session took place right back at Quattro.
As expected, DN and Ungas never called me by my name, but by the endearment they've given me. Since I didn't eat anything before we went to Timog, I already expected that I'd be the first to fall. It took just a Macho Mug of Red Horse Beer to feel the power of the stallion possessing me. As the band played in front of us, I began singing along. It was my attempt to lower my alcohol levels by distracting myself of things that would take my head away from the effects of beer.
The reunion was fun. It was like the good old days with me and Tagay, except that the bathroom scandal that happened during our second meeting never took place. Besides, we have a bunch of friends with us and it made the whole inuman session livelier. Centurion remains the same leader we have grown to respect. I forgot to mention that Dabo was there as well. He wasn't a strong drinker, but his camaraderie was something we cherished the whole evening.
Our friend Dabo left early and before he was able to arrive home, I was already doing a Super Sayan inside the toilet cubicle. A seasoned drinker do a Super Sayan whenever the alcohol gets into that drunker's head. It's a deliberate and last ditch attempt at throwing-up to keep the person sober. In my case, I've already downed my second Red Horse Macho Mug. Tagay and Centurion were catching up, while DN and Ungas were still halfway into finishing their first mug.
If not for the Grenadine, which I mixed with my Red Horse, I'd surely pass out. Ungas was even telling me that I was cheating because he was aware of the Grenadine's neutralizing effects. I told him that I had the right to use any cheats necessary because I was the one with the empty stomach.
But behind my back, the true reason why I had to keep up with them was because I felt that my protective side urges me to look after DN and Ungas, who have considered me their "surrogate mother."
We had a drinking spree in Quattro a few months ago and one of those invited was Deathnote. I cannot recall what Dodong exactly said, but there was no doubt that the kid had been inspired to call me with a new endearment. He began calling me Idol-Nanay a few days after our tagayan session, and his friends started calling me the same endearment in the thread several weeks later.
But being called Nanay initially made me feel awkward. There I was projecting a very masculine personality by putting a picture of a Glock 22 pistol on my main profile, only to be addressed as Nanay by a bunch of kids, whenever I showed up in our thread. Fortunately, the guys who I had flirty private message conversations do not go to the forums. I didn't get my kills, but it wasn't because they questioned my masculinity.
Eventually, I learned to acknowledge their terms of endearment. It cannot be denied that when someone calls me Nanay, it triggers a response that will make me consider that person a friend than a bed-foe. Soon, I even began taking my role half-seriously. Calling me their Nanay made me believe that I had become responsible for their welfare, even if its just in the website.
Last night a reunion was held between me, Tagay and our leader Centurion. Our drinking session was long overdue and had even created some misunderstandings a few weeks ago. Since Centurion talks with the two kids who still calls me Nanay, he invited them last night. Perhaps, our leader thought that it would be easier to encourage me to go out on a Tuesday night with my so-called children tagging along.
That same afternoon, Tagay and I had a text conversation about my kids.
"Par sigurado ka, matatag sa inuman yung mga yun?" He asked me feeling somewhat worried about our other guests.
"Malay ko, hindi ko pa sila sinusubukan sa inuman eh. Alam mo naman ang nanay, ayaw nalalasing ang mga anak." I answered.
"Talagang kinarir mo ang pagiging nanay mo sa mga junakis mo ah!"
"Shempre nagiging good boy ako eh." I told him.
We spent a lengthy text message conversation about my new role to DN and my other kid who i would call Ungas for the meantime. I told Tagay that if he's looking forward to a Red Horse rematch with me, he should expect a weaker contender this time. "Kelangan kong umalalay sa mga anak ko pag may nagpass-out sa kanila," I reasoned out. "Para saan pa ang pagwowork out ko kung hindi ko mabubuhat yung mga binata ko?"
He jokingly answered that we shouldn't have invited them if that is the case.
---
And so the inuman session took place right back at Quattro.
As expected, DN and Ungas never called me by my name, but by the endearment they've given me. Since I didn't eat anything before we went to Timog, I already expected that I'd be the first to fall. It took just a Macho Mug of Red Horse Beer to feel the power of the stallion possessing me. As the band played in front of us, I began singing along. It was my attempt to lower my alcohol levels by distracting myself of things that would take my head away from the effects of beer.
The reunion was fun. It was like the good old days with me and Tagay, except that the bathroom scandal that happened during our second meeting never took place. Besides, we have a bunch of friends with us and it made the whole inuman session livelier. Centurion remains the same leader we have grown to respect. I forgot to mention that Dabo was there as well. He wasn't a strong drinker, but his camaraderie was something we cherished the whole evening.
Our friend Dabo left early and before he was able to arrive home, I was already doing a Super Sayan inside the toilet cubicle. A seasoned drinker do a Super Sayan whenever the alcohol gets into that drunker's head. It's a deliberate and last ditch attempt at throwing-up to keep the person sober. In my case, I've already downed my second Red Horse Macho Mug. Tagay and Centurion were catching up, while DN and Ungas were still halfway into finishing their first mug.
If not for the Grenadine, which I mixed with my Red Horse, I'd surely pass out. Ungas was even telling me that I was cheating because he was aware of the Grenadine's neutralizing effects. I told him that I had the right to use any cheats necessary because I was the one with the empty stomach.
But behind my back, the true reason why I had to keep up with them was because I felt that my protective side urges me to look after DN and Ungas, who have considered me their "surrogate mother."
My instinct would prove correct after our third Macho Mug of Red Horse. Ungas, who was challenged by Tagay for another round was already tipsy even before he was able to finish his last mug. DN stopped drinking after his first mug owing to the fact that he was aware of his alcohol tolerance. Meanwhile, I kept my promise to Tagay by matching his capacity for alcohol - even if it meant cheating on him too. He was never aware of it, but for every gulp of beer I downed in my throat, I dashed towards the bathroom to throw up everything. My vision was clearly blurry and my head swirling, but it was my determination to stick to my word that kept me standing.
We parted ways soon after. Tagay and Centurion had their separate direction, while I decided to stay with my kids and bring them home even if it meant getting out of my direction. Ungas was already drunk, so I had to keep him steady by putting my arms around his shoulders. If there was someone who clearly was the last person standing, it was DN. Had I passed out as well, he would be forced to take responsibility for the three of us.
---
Inside the cab, my two kids kept on telling me that Tagay and I were perfectly matched. They even wondered if he was their Tatay. I told them that if he was, then he's not a good daddy. I reminded them that he was the one responsible for making Ungas tipsy that night.
They both sat on the backseat, while I stayed beside the cab driver. Looking at the side mirror, I knew they were talking. They were getting to know each other as brothers for the first time in our little role-playing game.
And ours was indeed a role-play.
But whenever I remember that Grade One pupil who asked me if I could be his kuya, the two gentlemen in the back seat reminded of that story. Had the kid and I never lost contact, he would be as old as Ungas and DN by now. In our little nostalgic moment inside the cab, I remembered the kid in them.
I might be resenting that I wasn't able to make him feel having a kuya. But at least...
I hope...
I am able to make DN and Ungas feel taken care of at the night we became a family.
---
Inside the cab, my two kids kept on telling me that Tagay and I were perfectly matched. They even wondered if he was their Tatay. I told them that if he was, then he's not a good daddy. I reminded them that he was the one responsible for making Ungas tipsy that night.
They both sat on the backseat, while I stayed beside the cab driver. Looking at the side mirror, I knew they were talking. They were getting to know each other as brothers for the first time in our little role-playing game.
And ours was indeed a role-play.
But whenever I remember that Grade One pupil who asked me if I could be his kuya, the two gentlemen in the back seat reminded of that story. Had the kid and I never lost contact, he would be as old as Ungas and DN by now. In our little nostalgic moment inside the cab, I remembered the kid in them.
I might be resenting that I wasn't able to make him feel having a kuya. But at least...
I hope...
I am able to make DN and Ungas feel taken care of at the night we became a family.
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